Chapter 16: Saying Goodbye

The sun was just beginning to rise when Clark Kent laid his five year old son down in his bed. Jason had slept fitfully all night due to nightmares about his time on 'The Gertrude', which were of his drowning in the water with his parents. As Clark pulled the covers over his little boy, Jason's eyes fluttered open. Lightly, Clark knelt down next to Jason's bed, leaning over to place a kiss on his left cheek.

"I'm afraid," he whispered, looking up at his daddy's face. Jason was so tired that his eyelids were already beginning to droop, but he still defied the realm of sleep, too afraid to be far away from either of his parents.

Seeing Jason in such pain was hard for Clark. His little boy had been through too much already, and all he wanted to do was take both Jason and Lois away and keep them safe from the world's ugly side. "You don't have anything to be afraid of," he said as he began to stroke his fingers through Jason's hair.

Jason yawned and rubbed his eyes. "If I get afraid, you will come, won't you?" he asked, knowing that his daddy would.

"Yes I will, now close your eyes and get some rest."

As he started to do what he was told, Jason suddenly thought of his puppy. "I want Lucky, daddy," he said.

"I will go get her when your mommy wakes up," he said as Jason's eyes finally slipped closed. Once he was sure Jason would remain asleep, Clark left his room, closing the door just enough to let in the light from the hallway. As he started down the stairs he heard Lois come out of her room, even though there wasn't any real noise. "I thought I would fix us some breakfast," he said as she walked over to him. She had dark circles under her eyes and he could tell that she was still emotionally drained.

The thought of any sort of food made Lois sick to her stomach. "I can't eat. How is Jason?" She asked as she looked over at his door.

"Worn out. He woke up a lot last night due to dreams about being on that yacht," said Clark. The two of them walked silently down the stairs, and while Clark went to the kitchen to make Lois some freshly squeezed orange juice, the woman he loved walked over to the newly repaired window and peered outside.

It was turning into a dreary, snowy, cold day and the weather outside seemed to match the mood in the house. As she looked outside, Lois shut her eyes trying to remember a time when her life didn't feel like it was crashing down on her, and then she felt his strong hand on her right shoulder. "Did I tell you how we ended up here?" Lois asked as she opened her eyes while turning around to face Clark. He had on a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt, and his glasses were gone. Seeing him like this somehow brought comfort to her jumbled thoughts, and Lois wondered if she should tell him about how she and Richard got the house.

After handing her the small glass of orange juice, Clark took her free hand in his own and led her over to the sofa. They sat down together, and when he wrapped his arm around her she leaned against him. "No, tell me now," he said, not bothered by her need to talk about Richard. He felt he owed her that much for not making it in time to save him, and really he needed to be here for her, to try and help her if he could.

Lois took a sip of her juice and then leaned forward, putting the glass down on the coffee table in front of them. "It wasn't long after I found out I was going to have Jason. Richard took me to the airport because he said he had a surprise for me. When we arrived he blind-folded me and…"

Even though she couldn't see anything, Lois trusted the man holding her right hand in his left. They had been walking in the cool night air for what felt like an eternity when he stopped. When he took the blindfold off, Lois found herself looking at a sea plane. She couldn't help but smile because Richard was full of surprises. "When did you get this?" she asked as she turned to face him.

Richard grinned at her, liking the fact that he could surprise a woman like Lois. "I've had it for oh, 3 years now. Do you want to go up?" he asked and when she nodded her head he led her to the plane.

"After that we went flying every weekend, and one day we were flying over the bay when I saw this house. I guess I got really quiet because he asked me what I was thinking about and I told him how nice it would be to raise my baby in a quiet place like that." As she thought about that time, Lois managed to push the sadness aside.

They had just finished having dinner at a small Italian restaurant not far from the Planet, and when they got into the taxi, Richard told the driver to take them to 312 Riverside Dr.

Lois looked at her boyfriend with a mix of confusion and curiosity. "Where are you taking me now?" she asked as she leaned into his comforting arms. Richard wouldn't tell her, which just made her that much more curious to know. As the Taxi drove down a long stretch of narrow road, Lois wondered what Richard was up too, and then it stopped in front of a house with a For Sale sign. However, the house had already been sold.

After getting out of the taxi and paying the driver to wait for them, Richard helped his love out of the car. "Well what do you think?" he asked.

Now Lois was confused, and gave her best friend a funny look. "What do I think about what? This house is sold," she said. Lois then took a really good look at the house, and turned around to face Richard. "What did you do, Richard White?" she asked, incredulously, hardly believing what her mind was pointing out to be the obvious.

"You said you wanted a nice place to raise your baby, and um, it does have a great view of the city, plus I can park my plane right out front," he said hoping that she wouldn't blow her top. One thing he had learned in the two months of dating Lois was that her temper came quick.

For a few moments Lois was angry, and then she shook her head. "What am I going to do with you? If you go out and get everything I wish for, you will be poor and without a place to live," she said.

"After that, he promised me that he'd ask before he did anything that big again," she said.

From her story, Clark was beginning to see the kind of man Richard had been, and couldn't remember meeting any human that had such a big heart. "I'm glad you had him to turn to Lois," he said honestly. He felt her shuddered sigh and held her just a bit closer.

"I feel lucky that I had him, but also sad. I knew that you wouldn't stay gone forever, and I know I have told you that before, but what he offered me and Jason was security and a real family, and it was too good for me to pass up," she said softly as she shut her eyes.

By lunch the house was full of people. Alice White, Perry's wife, had brought a large serving of fried chicken she had made herself, with all the fixings to go with it. Along with Alice, Lois's parents had also arrived, and for once The General was doing his best to support his daughter in her loss.

As lunch was coming together, and everyone started to sit down, Lois noticed that her little boy wasn't there. She looked at Clark who also seemed to realize that it had been a while since they had seen Jason. He stood still for a moment and then he turned around and hurried to the back of the house. Lois knew Clark would find Jason, but as fast as he was trying to leave, she also knew that her little boy was in some sort of trouble.

With all of the people at his house, Jason knew he should have felt safe there, but when he saw his Aunt Alice crying as his mom hugged her, the little boy realized he couldn't stay there. Jason had gotten Lucky into her collar and leash and had pulled on his really warm winter jacket. After he slipped on his red snow boots over his pajama clad feet, he left the house letting Lucky go where she wanted.

The two of them had wandered further away from the house than Jason was allowed to go, and he had even crossed the highway that led into the city. He was having fun letting Lucky lead the way and hadn't really noticed how far away from home he was getting. Jason kept on walking, following Lucky's trail, trying to forget about the pain clamping around his small heart.

Jason and his puppy wandered into an overgrown field and even though it was very cold and the snow crunched under his feet, the weeds there obstructed his view. From somewhere not far away Jason thought he could hear some sort of motor, like a bike, but he didn't pay it much mind as Lucky tugged him to the left. What Jason didn't see was someone on a snow mobile, and just as he didn't see them, the two teenage boys riding it didn't see that they were getting very close to him.

Rodney Adams and his little brother James had gotten the snowmobile for Christmas and the two young brothers had enjoyed going through the field even though their father had instructed them to ride where they could see what was in front of them. Rodney pushed the vehicle to its limits and as they went over a large rise both of them saw the little boy. Rodney tried to veer away but it was too late. Just when he thought he was going to hit the boy, the snowmobile rose from the ground.

"It's Superman," James called out as they were put down on the ground not far from where the little boy was standing.

Superman wanted to hold his son in his arms but he needed to make sure the other two boys were all right first. "Riding in these overgrown fields can be dangerous," he said to both boys who looked suddenly afraid.

"Our dad told us not too come out here, you won't tell him will you?"

As the older boy spoke those words, Superman thought of his own son and the rules. "No, as long as you promise to go straight home," he said. Both boys agreed to do that and after they road away, Superman turned around to face his little boy who suddenly looked very frightened.

"Are you mad at me?" Jason asked as his daddy knelt down so that they could see one another face to face.

For the first time since learning he was a father, Superman did feel anger, and also concern that his little boy would wander away so far from home. "I am more worried about why you would do something so dangerous, Jason," he said gently. This was his first time having to be the one to address something Jason did that wasn't right.

"I saw Aunt Alice crying, and I had to get away," he said as he chewed on his bottom lip.

Superman lifted Lucky up and once she was in Jason's arms he cradled his son against his chest, pulling his cape around them as he lifted off the ground. When he got closer to the house, and was sure no one could see them, he put Jason down and spun into his jeans and the sweatshirt he had been wearing before he left to get Jason. Once he was dressed he held out his hand and his little boy took it willingly. "Jason, if you ever feel upset or afraid, and you need to get away, you come and find me and I will take you someplace where it will be just the two of us," he said as they walked down the lane leading to the house.

When they arrived, Lois was waiting for them. Clark had been gone for less than five minutes, and in a moment Jason was in his mommy's arms.

"Where were you?" Lois asked in a stern frightened tone, as she held her son at arms length finding that he was unharmed. She watched as Jason looked at his daddy and could tell he was afraid to tell her. "Jason, please tell me the truth," she said gently. As he did she had to hold back her temper, and realized that seeing his aunt cry had truly frightened him. Lois realized too that he likely never would have done that under normal circumstances, but she also knew she still had to punish him. "I'm proud of you for telling me the truth, but you will be grounded to your room for a few hours. I will bring your food up to you," she said as she stood up and took his small hand.

It was near 9am before the house was finally empty, and finding it so was a little unsettling for Lois. Superman was needed, and she thought she would find relief in having him gone as well, but now as she sat in her room, Lois found herself wanting him with her. Jason was asleep just behind her with Lucky snuggled up beside him. He had cried when his daddy had to go, which made it hard for Superman to leave him. Lois had assured The Man of Steel that their son would be alright, and soon after, he left to go help a family in trouble. Eventually, Jason did stop crying.

Before every one left, and while her parents were cleaning the kitchen and Jimmy played upstairs with Jason, Lois sat with Alice and Perry talking about funeral arrangements. Both of Richard's parents were gone, and as next of kin it was up to them to figure out what to do. They had both decided that she needed to be a part of the decisions, but Lois was having a hard time with that. She and Richard talked about what they both wanted if they should die, and he told her that if his time came before her own, he wanted to be cremated and have his ashes scattered out over the ocean. In the end that was what she agreed to, what they all agreed to, and now that it was settled, Lois felt more alone than she had in all of her life. Jason's sudden cry drew her out of her thoughts, and Lois settled in bed behind him gathering him in her arms. "Shh," she whispered as she kissed his soft cheeks.

"Daddy won't take me to heaven," Jason mumbled, only half awake.

Lois was startled by what he was saying but kept calm, "Shh." Jason turned over as Lucky tried to find a new spot to sleep and his sad blue eyes fell on her face.

"Daddy said that he can't reach heaven, because he said that we can only go there when we are done living," as he finished saying that he began to cry. "I want him to take me there, he could if he really wanted to," Jason said as he was gathered into his mother's loving embrace. He tried not to let the sadness make him cry, but it didn't work out the way he wanted.

Lois held Jason in her arms letting her own tears fall silently as his cries came in full force. Suddenly she felt Jason pulling away from her, and as he sat up he tried catching his breath.

"Da...Daddy I need you now," Jason managed as he continued to cry. He let his mommy help him with his inhaler but when his breath wouldn't come he cried harder.

Lois knew instantly that Jason needed to calm down and also realized that he needed his nebulizer. As she held him in her arms she tried to remember where it was, and then in an instant Superman was there. "Jason, he's here munchkin," Lois said as Superman made it to their side in two steps. He knelt down and in a moment Jason was in his arms, but he was still in need of the nebulizer.

Superman sat down on the floor holding Jason cradled in his arms. "Shh, I won't leave you again," he said as Jason gasped for breath while still crying. Lois returned to him and with her help he got the oxygen mask over Jason's mouth and nose. A moment later he heard a hum, and the mask clouded up with a fine mist. Jason's small hands wrapped around a small canister hooked to the bottom of the mask and he began to take in deep steady breaths. As his breathing returned to normal his tired eyes shut, but Superman wasn't ready to put him back in bed.

Lois stood behind the man she had shared a love with so long ago, and as the treatment finished she turned of the machine and pulled the plug. Carefully she reached over Superman's right shoulder, and removed the mask from Jason's face.

"Is this what he goes through?" He said realizing now what Lois and Richard had likely been through a thousand times before.

She could hear the concern in his voice as she put the nebulizer in her dresser drawer, and after it was put away she walked to him and sat down in front of him. "Not always. I guess if I had to count I would say he's used it maybe 100 times over the past five years." Lois saw the sadness in Superman's eyes, and reached her hand out placing it over the one under Jason's back. "You are not at fault for this," she said not willing to let him take the blame for Jason's illnesses.

For a long time Superman couldn't find what he wanted to say. As he held Jason in his arms he wondered if there was something he could have done that would have prevented his son's fragile state. The only place he could find the answers was the Fortress of Solitude but now, thanks to Lex Luthor, that was lost to him. Suddenly he realized Lois was still sitting with him, and as he looked at her he felt guilty for not addressing her sooner. Slowly he levitated off of the floor a few feet, and then extended his legs. Jason shifted in his arms but remained asleep, and after a few moments, Superman leaned over the bed and put his son down. He smiled as Lucky got up from the end of the bed and snuggled up next to Jason and even gave the dog a gentle rub on her head before he turned around to face Lois.

"I'm sorry I sat there like that. I was just thinking that if Luthor would not have gotten the Crystals we might have been able to find answers to Jason's fragile state" he said as she stood up and came willingly into his arms.

"How does all of that work?" she asked interested in that aspect of his life. Thanks to his kiss she remembered everything including seeing the images of his parents. Both of them were relatively sure Jason would sleep for a while, so Lois took Superman's hand and led him downstairs.

Seated on the Sofa next to the woman he loved, Superman did his best to explain the crystals to her. "The structure of Krypton was based on the crystals," he said as she leaned against him. "When I found out what the Astronomers found, that they may have found the remains of Krypton I was able to construct a ship using the crystal technology. The fortress is the only piece of Krypton that I had," he said sadly.

As she heard the sad tone in his voice she gave a gentle squeeze to his hand. "Weren't you able to reconstruct the chamber that took your powers away, when you and I spent some time there?" she asked and felt him shift. Lois lifted her head away from his left side, and turned to look at him realizing that he had somehow forgotten that.

"That should still be there," he said. He thought about flying there and then decided against it. If Jason woke up again, he wanted to be there, and though he could travel faster than the speed of Light and sound, even a short amount of time away from Jason wasn't possible. "When things here settle down I will go back and try to find it." They talked for a while longer, and then Lois got up.

"I should get some rest," she said, though what she really wanted was to stay right where she was. Somehow being held in his arms made the pain she was feeling a little less.

Superman could tell she was uncomfortable being away from him, and when he offered to go upstairs and lie next to her in bed, she accepted his offer. Upstairs while she dressed he sat by his son watching him rest. Jason's breathing was normal, and for once he didn't seem plagued by the dreams that had worried him last night.

When Lois came out of the bathroom she had on a pair of sweat pants and a large shirt. She settled in bed behind Jason pulling him against her so that his back was pressed against her chest with the back of his head resting just below her chin. When she was settled, Superman pulled off his boots and laid down in the bed behind Lois, holding her in the same manner she held their son. Long after she fell asleep, he remained awake feeling as though this was his place. He still felt guilt and remorse over Richard's death and knew that would take a long time for him to get over, but he also knew that the time was coming for him to commit to the two most important people in his

The day of the memorial arrived, and as everyone was ready to leave the house, Jason was missing again. Clark assured Lois he knew where to find him and told her he would bring Jason to the church his own way. After everyone left, he went upstairs to Lois's room and heard Jason's sniffling coming from under the bed. Clark was dressed in a dark suit, and knelt down on the left side of the bed. "Jason," he called out. He only had to wait a moment before his little boy crawled out, and once he was able to, Clark sat down and held Jason in his arms.

"I won't say goodbye," Jason whispered as his daddy gently rocked him.

"You don't have to say goodbye, Jason. Did you know that you can carry him in your heart?" He asked as he put his large hand over Jason's chest. His little boy looked up at him and Clark kissed his tears away.

"How do I do that?" He asked sniffing.

"You always keep him with you by remembering how much fun the two of you had, and if you want to, you can even talk to him. If you are sad about something or hurting, you can tell him how you feel," Clark said.

"Does God let him see me and hear me?"

His little boy needed assurances right now, and Clark figured any religious leader would get after him for what he was about to say, but he didn't care. "I think maybe he does." Knowing that they needed to be on their way, Clark stood up and carried Jason downstairs. When his son was dressed in his fine dress coat, Clark changed into Superman and after lifting Jason into his arms and wrapping his cape around him, The Man of Steel took off for the Sky.

When they arrived at the church, Superman landed in an alley close to the building and changed back into Clark Kent. After lifting Jason back into his arms, Clark walked over to the church where several people were already going inside. There were several people that he recognized from work and one of the first to come over and see him was Jimmy, who wore a sad expression on his face.

"Hi Mr. Kent, hey Jason," he said trying to sound cheerful to lighten the mood.

Jason sniffed and turned his head in toward his father's neck, and rested his cheek against his shoulder not wanting to talk to anyone at the present time.

Jimmy felt bad for his young friend and walked with Clark into the church telling him about what he had missed while he had been away helping Lois during her greatest time of need. Inside they found Lois who was relieved to see them, and Jimmy could tell that the family needed time alone.

Since leaving the house, Lois had worried that Jason might have run off again, and now seeing him in the strong arms of his father she felt a little better. Her heart was aching and she wished this day to be over, and then some part of her didn't. Today she would say good bye to a man she had loved for five years, and after today there was no turning back the hands of time. As Lois reached Clark's side she put her hand on Jason's back but he didn't acknowledge her, and she understood.

They had only a brief time to talk before it was time to begin, and as she started to lead the way into the church, she felt Clark's hand take her own, and again as she had been these past few days she was thankful for his steady strength.

As they entered the sanctuary, Clark immediately noticed Bruce Wayne, but didn't say anything to Lois as they walked to the front of the large room. They sat down with Lois's parents, as well as Alice and Perry. Jason stayed where he was with his face hidden against the right side of Clark's neck, holding on to his daddy as tight as he could.

The minister began the service with a prayer and then talked about Richard White. Beside him, Lois sat perfectly straight holding Clark's free hand in her own. Clark glanced at her a few times not seeing any tears on her face though he knew later on in the privacy of her own home she would likely mourn Richard in her own way.

The minister talked about the accomplishments of Richard's life and included Jason as his son, something Lois had discussed with Clark, and something he had agreed to allow happen. As the service continued along, other people who had known Richard were permitted to go up to the pulpit to deliver a testimonial about his life, and Lois was touched at how many people went up to talk about her former fiancé, and their words brought her comfort.

Resting safe in his father's arms, Jason also heard the words the people were saying, and when the minister asked if there was anyone else who wanted to say some words about Richard, Jason lifted his head and whispered in Clark's ear.

Next to Clark Lois was surprised when he stood up and watched as he carried their son to the pulpit, not sure what he was doing until Jason turned toward the people.

"I miss my daddy, and he was really good to me and mommy. He used to take me flying, and told me when I got big enough he would teach me how to fly in his plane. Now I have my new daddy here with me, and he told me that if I feel sad that I can talk to daddy and that even though he's with God he would hear me." Jason turned in his father's arms and hid face against Clark's neck as they returned to the seat.

After Jason spoke, there was not a dry eye in the church. Everyone was amazed by his courage to talk about his two daddies and when the service ended, Lois and Clark received many compliments on how brave and special their little boy was.

As the last of the crowd began to file out, Clark saw Bruce, and when he was face to face with the man he held out his free hand. Lois was talking to someone next to him but stopped when she realized he was there.

Not long after Superman left for Krypton, Perry had called asking if Richard could run an interview with Bruce involving the events following the near destruction of Gotham City by the League of Shadows. Bruce had been impressed by Richard's calm manner and until he arrived at the church, he had not made the connection with Clark Kent and Richard's Fiancé. Now Clark's visit made sense to him. He shook Clark's hand and then faced Lois. "I wanted to come here and tell you how sorry I am for your loss," he said, keeping his thoughts about what he was seeing to himself.

Lois knew there was tension between Bruce and Clark now more than ever but she addressed him properly thanking him for being here at the service. By the time the last person was gone, Jason had fallen asleep against Clark's shoulder, and by then Lois was ready to join her son. Richard's ashes had already been scattered over the ocean as had been planned earlier that morning, and as she walked out to the waiting stretch Limo, provided by the funeral home, Lois shut her eyes saying a silent goodbye to the man she had almost married.

At home, Clark went upstairs and managed to get Jason out of his dress cloths and into a pair of jeans as well as a soft sweatshirt without waking him. After laying Jason down in his bed and getting Lucky out of her crate he took her for a short walk before he brought her back to Jason and put her in bed, watching as the dog curled up with him. Everyone else was going to Alice and Perry's and no one had been upset or hurt when Lois decided not to join them. Clark found her outside still wearing her dress coat as she looked out over the water at the city across from them. He stood watching her for a moment until her heard her crying, and then he went outside and gently pulled her into his arms.

How many times she had cried for Richard, Lois had lost count. She was tired of feeling so sad, and she was tired of crying, but it couldn't be helped. After a few minutes she managed to pull herself together and as she pulled way from Clark she realized she had gotten his suit all wet. "I didn't mean to do that," she said feeling a little embarrassed.

"You don't need to worry about crying around me Lois, I want to be here for you and for Jason," he said as he reached out and wiped her tears away. While she went inside to change out of her dress, Clark flew high into the air, and in less than two minutes he was at his own house. He dressed in something comfortable, keeping his hearing tuned to both Lois and Jason and when he got back to the house on Riverside Dr; Lois had just arrived back downstairs.

As she had been dressing upstairs, Lois suddenly realized how out of place she felt. This house had been a part of her life with Richard and now that he was gone, being here felt like being in a place she had never been. When she arrived downstairs and found Clark entering the house in a pair of slacks and a button down top she didn't really think about how he had managed to change so fast. Her mind was racing, and she felt like she was suffocating.

Clark saw the panicked look in her eyes and when he walked to her she turned away from him. "Lois," he said gently.

"I can't stay here Clark, this house has too many reminders in it of Richard and yet I can't bear to let it go because it does hold Jason's past," she said hating that she was being so suddenly sentimental. When she felt his hands on her, turning her around, Lois didn't protest and when she was facing him, she looked into his beautiful blue eyes.

Clark leaned in and kissed her on her left cheek. "The memories you shared with Jason and Richard are in you, not in this house," he said gently, hoping is words would help her. He knew she was aware of that and he also knew that she wouldn't be happy living here any longer. "Why don't you and Jason stay with me for a while, both of you can stay in my room, and I can stay in the one I made up for him," he said.

Under any other circumstances, Lois would have refused, but now in the face of having to spend another night in this house; Lois chose to go with him. They went upstairs and while she packed her bags, Clark snuck into Jason's room with the suitcase she had given him and packed all of Jason's clothes in there. Once their bags were packed, he flew the luggage to his house and in record time cleaned out his dresser and closet putting Lois's and Jason's things in there, before he moved his things into Jason's room. All of that took him less than ten minutes and when he arrived back at the house, Jason was awake and was ready to go with him to his house, as was Lois.

AN: A special thanks goes out to Mr Firenze who was kind enought to beta read this chapter. I know that there was one more person who offered to help and I would still like that to happen, but I trashed all my emails and along with it her name. So if you still want to help out let me know please. In the mean time R&R and thanks

Eviefan