Lois didn't realize how nervous she was until she reached her front door. She knew the inevitable was coming as soon as she unlocked the door.
For such a strong woman, Lois was having a hard time making a simple decision. Superman or Richard? Both men were attractive, kind, and selfless. They each made incredible fathers and kept her guessing with sweet surprises. She hoped that she would find her strength soon and face the decision she felt her heart had already made.
Before she could dwell on her dilemma any longer, Richard opened the door.
"Lois? What are you doing just standing here?" he asked curiously.
"I was just trying to find my keys" she stated quickly as she threw her keys into her purse behind her back. This answer seemed to satisfy him, but she avoided his eyes anyway as she brushed past him. She had known Richard long enough to realize that he was not oblivious, and that one look into her eyes would reveal her fib.
Lois put her purse and coat down on the chair in the hall, and continued to walk towards the kitchen. The food smelled delicious, and she had become quite hungry after avoiding leaving her desk all day.
"Lois the food is already on the table in the dining room. You can go have a seat and I will be there in a second." Richard called from the doorway.
"Already on the table? Wow. This must be special." Lois thought to herself.
The dining room looked like a scene from a romantic movie. There were two single candles lit on the table with two plates full of Lois' favorite foods.
I thought we could open a bottle of wine for dessert," Richard said softly as he placed the bottle of white wine on the table, "If we make it to dessert." He added playfully.
Lois looked at him for a moment smiling. Just then a breeze came in through the window. She closed her eyes for a second and instantly flashed back to the night Superman had taken her flying above the city. At the mere thought of the emotions she had felt while he had his arm around her, a tear slid down her cheek.
"Aw, Lois, you don't have to cry. I just wanted to surprise you so that you could get your mind off the horrors of last week." Richard said as he hugged her gently.
Lois wanted to tell him she loved him. She wanted to get lost in Richard's kiss and forget that Superman existed. Her brain kept telling her to respond to him, but her heart was already focused on another man.
"Richard, I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you."
She backed away slowly from him so that she could see his reaction. She thought she would see pain in his eyes, but instead he was smiling.
"Lois, you deserve everything." he said as he moved to hug her again.
This time she was more firm. She knew that if she touched him one more time, she might not be able to get the words out.
"No, you don't understand." She was now shaking, but had enough will power to keep the couple feet between her and Richard.
"Lois. You're scaring me. What's going on?" Richard looked worried, but there was a hint of knowing in his eyes. She knew that he had a hunch her Superman phase had never ended, but never pried her for answers after asking her flatly if she ever loved him. She had said no at the time, even though a couple weeks ago she still knew that a piece of her heart belonged to the man of steel.
"Ask me again." she whispered.
"What?" Richard asked, his tone both confused and scared.
"Ask me if I loved Superman." This time she met his eyes. She could see the pain now. It seemed to hit him almost like a punch because he swayed back a few steps. He regained his stance within moments, but still looked defeated. After a couple minutes he looked at her once more. It was Richard's turn to shed a tear. As it rolled down his left cheek, he obliged her request.
"Did you love him?"
"I still do." Lois then broke into sobs as she brought her hands up to her face. Richard's hands soon covered hers as he gently pulled her arms back down.
"You can't help who you love." He whispered softly in her ear as he embraced her one last time.
Lois looked up at him, amazed that despite everything, he was able to say the perfect words. She tilted her head to the side and lifted her chin as he leaned in to kiss her goodbye. The kiss lasted only seconds, but it was full of so many emotions that Lois barely found the strength to pull away. The kiss conveyed all their happiness that they had shared together and was a perfect ending to the relationship.
"I think I'll finally take that trip to London that I have been dreaming about." Richard finally said after what seemed like an eternity.
Lois understood he was only mentioning this to tell her he would give her some time to pack up and move out of the house while they both dealt with the consequences of their sudden parting. Lois had moved in when Jason was born, and always felt as if she would never stay very long in the comfortable home.
"I'll go crash at a Jimmy's tonight, and I will fly out tomorrow morning. I just need to get away and take some time for myself." His voice was shaky. Lois nodded lightly and began to pull her engagement ring off her finger.
"I suppose you will want this back. And don't worry. Jason and I will be out of here by the time you return." She went to offer him the ring, but he simply closed Lois's hand and pushed her arm back towards her chest.
"It was a gift. Keep it. I plan on staying in London for a couple months, so take your time. If you need anything, you know how to find me." He then turned to get his keys, and was halfway out the door before he paused and turned to Lois again.
"I know Jason isn't my son." This statement seemed to hurt him more than anything Lois could ever say. Her jaw dropped slightly, and she looked down at the floor before returning his gaze.
"I know he isn't my son, but I still love him. I want to be able to see him every once in awhile and remind him of that." Richard turned around again to walk out the door.
"He will never forget that you love him." Lois said quietly.
Richard stopped one final time, but he did not turn around. He took in a couple long breaths, and then left.
Lois blew out the candles, now burnt a third of the way down, and put the food and wine away for another day. She had once again lost her appetite.
She did not falter as she climbed the stairs to her room, nor when she closed the bedroom door behind her. It wasn't until she got into bed and pulled the covers up to her face that she began to cry.