1Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and maybe Topless Misty(Nice change of pace)
Matt and company were at Vermilion City and heading to the gym.
Matt: Wow! This gym beats the hell out of your crapshack Brock.
Brock: Shut up, ass wipe!
Matt: Whoa, what's wrong with you? You on your period?
Brock: Haha, very funny. No, I haven't had sex in like 3 weeks. I resorted to humping Misty's pants at night.
Matt: You know those are covered in me and Mew's cum, right?
Brock: Seriously!
Misty: Yeah, they both get on a leg about every 30 minutes. I don't know how you would have missed it. I mean their doing right now.
Matt: Wait...almost there...done.
Mew: Meeeeeeew... Meeeeew ...Mew!
Brock: Eeeeeeeewwwwww!
Brock then went to the ocean to scrub the hell out his balls. When he came back he no longer acted like a little bitch because a 3 year old girl had seen him masturbating and thought his penis was huge because it was the size of her middle finger so she let him fuck the hell out of her.
Matt: Feeling better now.
Brock: Yeah, I'll be set for a week at least.
Matt: Ok, let's go inside.
Matt and company went inside the gym, but were instantly stopped by the guard robot.
Guard Robot: I am GAL 9000. You cannot pass to challenge Lt. Surge.
Matt: Then I guess I'll have to destroy you.
GAL 9000: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave.
Matt: Who's Dave? I'm Matt. Mew take this.
Matt took out 2 samurai swords and threw one to Mew.
Mew: Mew!
Matt and Mew then did that really cool samurai thing when they unsheathe, jump, land in cool fashion, and opponent slides of cut marks.
GAL 9000: Daisy, Daisy... (Guess the parody, retards)
Matt and company then went into the gym leader's chamber where they met Lt. Surge.
Lt. Surge: Welc ...is that chick aware topless!
Misty: I realized I was topless like 3 chapters ago! By the way, Matt, you owe me for that too.
Matt: How much was it?
Misty: $500
Matt: $500! On a skimpy little top! That sucks!
Brock: Yeah! FOR YOU!
Matt: Brock, shut the hell up or I'll cut your fucking nuts off!
Brock: Yes sir!
Lt. Surge: Now to have a long battle that will take another 500 words.
Author: No way. I'm tired! I have a shorter idea!
Matt: Why should I listen to you?
Author: You know Brittany Spears?
Matt: Yeah.
Author: Who do you think made her pregnant?
Matt: YOU BASTERD!
Author: I'm out of here!
The Author then disappeared in a puff of smoke. Matt then took out a machine gun.
Lt. Surge: Let's have our long drawn out battle. What's the gun for?
Matt: I have a shorter plan.
Matt then shot his balls off and took the gym badge.
Lt. Surge: God damn it! Why did you do that!
Matt: It's a much shorter method.
A pop-up window, well, popped up. It said " Mew is now lv.299. Mew learned Super Apocalyptic Death Punch"
Matt: Ooooooo! Mew use that.
Mew: Mew!
Mew punched the air and a giant destructive hurricane came out that was filled with black swirling flames and screaming spirits of the undead wailing to the tune of "Hollaback Girl' the worst song in existence that hit Lt. Surge's bloody crotch, causing it to explode into a rainbow of deadly fire causing the rest of his body to scatter into billions of tiny bloody bits coating the walls in a red liquid..
Matt: That was cool, let's go.
Matt and company ran away before the cop showed up and decided to hide on a nearby boat and that was where they were headed.