Chapter Eleven

Kara almost ran out of the simulator room. She stopped on the landing by the top of the stairs, leaning heavily on the rail and taking frantic breaths.

After a few moments she heard the doors of the simulator room open and close behind her and then footsteps walking over to stand beside her at the rail. She didn't have to look to know who it was.

"We're never going to do that again, are we."

It wasn't a question and Kara didn't answer it. She just continued to stare at the opposite wall, keeping her eyes firmly turned away from him.

After a moment she heard Lee sigh.

"I'd better go. I've got – things to do." A pause. "I'll see you later, right?"

"Right." Kara still couldn't look at him.

She heard him take a quick breath, as if he was going to say something else, but he didn't. Instead she heard him walk away, feet thudding as he went down the steps.

She turned to look at him then. Watched him walk away with that brisk, efficient stride, head held stubbornly high.

For a moment, she let herself wish.

Wish that she had met Lee Adama anywhere else. At Fleet Academy. In a bar or a club. Running through the park.

Wish that he had been someone else. Anyone except Zak's older brother.

Wish that she had met him first.

Only for a moment, and then she closed her eyes and broke the spell. Because it hadn't happened that way. She had Zak. She loved Zak, and he loved her. For the first time in her life she was happy.

She wasn't going to frak up her life by throwing all that away. Not just for this weird connection – attraction – whatever the hell it was that she felt for his brother.

It wouldn't work out anyway. She couldn't see Lee cheerfully tolerating her moods and her quirks the way Zak did. Lee wasn't tolerant. He challenged. He criticised. He pushed. He'd try to change her, and that was never going to happen. It would all fall apart, and they'd end up hating each other.

She couldn't bear the thought of him hating her.

So she'd never mention this again. Pretend it had never happened. They'd just go back to being friends.

Nothing more.

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Lee didn't go back to the guest room he'd been assigned. Instead he headed off campus, to avoid bumping into anyone he might know. He ducked into a bar, ordered a beer and took a seat in front of the TV screen so no-one would try to talk to him.

What the hell had just happened? he thought, taking a large gulp of his beer. He'd nearly kissed his brother's girlfriend. Frak, he would have kissed her if that cadet hadn't interrupted them.

He felt suddenly sick. How could he have done that? How could he have betrayed Zak like that?

It was his own fault. He should have seen this coming. He'd known he was attracted to Kara ever since that moment playing pyramid back at Solstice, but he'd buried the knowledge deep, tried to ignore it.

He couldn't do that any longer.

He took a deep breath and made himself acknowledge the truth. He was attracted to Kara, and it wasn't just physical. He enjoyed spending time with her, liked competing with her and teasing her and arguing with her. He felt comfortable with her, felt he could relax his guard and just be himself. That didn't happen to him very often.

If she was anyone else he would be doing his best to catch her interest, whether she had a boyfriend or not.

But she wasn't anyone else. She was Zak's girlfriend, and that put her off limits for good. He could never hurt Zak like that. Never. Not the little brother he had always looked out for.

He wanted Zak to be happy, and if Kara made him happy, then that was that. It didn't matter how he himself felt.

So he'd just do his best to forget about these inconvenient feelings for Kara. He was sure they'd fade with a bit of time and distance. He'd go back to Aerilon, be too busy to visit Zak for a while. Maybe he'd start seeing more of Gianne. He really did like her, and it would help to get Kara out of his head.

It might be all for the best, anyway. He wasn't sure he and Kara would work out even if it was possible. He liked to keep his relationships easy and simple, and she was anything but. There was a lot going on inside her that she kept tightly locked away, and he wasn't sure he had the nerve or the determination to force his way in. Though he doubted she'd let him. She was as stubborn and awkward as he was in some ways. They'd probably just spend all their time arguing until everything fell apart.

Being just friends was probably safer and better, even if Zak hadn't been a factor.

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Despite all his sensible resolutions, Lee was still relieved when Zak arrived to meet him that evening without Kara. She had last-minute reports to write, Zak said.

Lee didn't believe it for one minute, but he thanked her silently. He wasn't sure he was ready yet to sit there all evening making conversation with both of them as if nothing had happened.

But then nothing had happened, he reminded himself fiercely, as he listened to Zak's latest stories. Nothing had and nothing ever would, he vowed again, watching his brother's laughing face.

So when he opened the door of his room the next morning to find Kara outside, he was dismayed and wary.

It must have shown on his face, because her shoulders tensed immediately.

"I've got a message from Zak," she said curtly. "He asked me to tell you he can't meet you for lunch, he's got an extra class."

"Oh. Okay." Lee searched for something else to say. His mind had gone suddenly blank. "Thanks for telling me."

He expected her to nod and leave, but instead she stood there for a moment, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other. Finally her face set with determination and her chin lifted.

"You could have lunch with me instead."

"What?"

Kara flushed slightly. "If you like. I mean - even though I'm Zak's girlfriend, we can still be friends. Can't we?"

Could they? Lee hoped they could. It would make things very awkward with Zak otherwise. And it would also mean he wouldn't lose her entirely.

Why not?

"Yes, we can," he said finally, and held out his hand to her. "Friends?"

She took his hand and shook it. "Friends."

Their eyes met in mutual understanding. Lee realised she knew as well as he did exactly what was meant by that little agreement. What they were firmly closing the door on and ignoring. That they were drawing a line and silently vowing never to cross it again.

They'd just never admit it aloud.

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They stepped outside into some rare spring sunshine, and Kara smiled. For a moment, she felt content.

Life didn't get much better than this. Sunshine, the prospect of a good meal, an afternoon of flying to look forward to - and Lee Adama, all to herself.

Just for a little while.

The End

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Author's note: Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. I've enjoyed writing this trip down Lee & Kara's memory lane and I hope you enjoyed it too. Didn't want to go further and get into Zak's death as I didn't think it fitted with the tone of this story, which I was trying to keep fairly angst-lite. (Though in reaction of course I am now writing a very angsty story!)