Title: "When trying to wing it in life really sucks" (Prompt 4 Wings)Author: radarhunnihawk, AKA lexiaarcadia
Fandom(s):Farscape
Pairing (if applicable): John/Aeryn (implied)
Rating : pg13
Word count: 655
Warnings (if any): Erm crackfic so not serious! Characters potentally may be occ. Hopefully not though. May have spoilers for later seasons...
Author's Note (if any): First Farscape fic be kind. Reviews welcome.
Disclaimer: Farscape and the characters associated with them are property of the Henson family and associates. I do not claim to be associated with them nor am I making money out of this fic.
Summary: After a night out, John wakes up with a surprise..

This was an unusual situation to be in. Okay everyday for John Crichton could be considered to be an unusual situation to be but today was just a bit more unusual. Well to wake up with a hangover was not that unusual, after all that's generally what happens when one has been drinking something alien sounding, strong and totally unpronounceable. The hangover John could deal with but THIS! No way.

After checking he was not dreaming. Rather after getting Aeryn to check he was not dreaming, something he would not be doing again in a while, he had to conclude not only was this an unusual situation, it was also a new definition of not good. Not as bad as say being chased round the uncharted territories by an insane reject from an S and M parlour, or having your own super dopper one of a kind neuron chip in your brain, but maybe just as bad.

After all it is not everyday that one wakes up with a hangover and…..WINGS!

Not small discrete wings either. These were HUGE HUGE HUGE wings. To say they felt weird to John, a human who generally did not have wings , what with him being a human and all, would be an understatement. The most troubling part was he had no idea how the hell he had managed to grow wings overnight. In fact he could not remember much of last night at all. To make things worse Pip was not helpful. In fact she was doubled over in helpless giggles. So was come to think of it Aeryn.

It was finally down to Granny to explain what had happened. Well after some unusual analysis that John never wanted to think about ever again. (To say it felt Bizarre to be plucked then watching an old women eating the feathers would be an understatement.) The results of said analysis, as far as the translator microbes could work out, went like this:

"It appears that what you where drinking last night has combined with your DNA and created a new body part for you. However the results should wear off eventually if you drink this."

When john comprehended what Granny had said he really knew he was going to have a bad day. The this in question was a horrible brown slimy glop that smelt suspiciously like something Rygel would produce if one of his three stomachs had a bug in it. He reluctantly took a sniff and it smelt even worse. Still given the choice of drinking the stuff or having to put up with his pregnant girlfriend threatening to rip them off him and Pip looking a bit too admiringly at them, the drink it was.

It didn't taste too bad at first. In fact it tasted a bit like chicken till it made its way down, then it tasted vile. It also burnt as it entered his system. To say it hurt would be an understatement. In fact it hurt so bad that within seconds he had passed out.

When he finally came round he found himself in the lab wrapped in silver foil and bandages. As he groggily came to his senses he found himself to have literally had the weight removed from his soldiers and his back.

"Ah finally" was D'argos response.
"D what happened? The wings?"
"Aeryn had to rip them from your back, Granny enjoyed them. Said they tasted nice with some cop porn. "
Johns response to that was unprintable, but at least this time the story had a happy ending.