Chapter 15

The guard handed her purse to her and told her that Margaret was on her way. She thanked him and walked into the lobby, looking around at expensive artwork and high ceilings and wondering if she'd run into Josh. It had only been two days since they'd had lunch at Jonathan's, and the last thing she wanted to look like was some freak who stalked him down at work because she hadn't heard from him. She hadn't, but she hadn't expected to. It was Tuesday and she knew he'd spent Monday in Cincinnati, Cleveland, and Columbus. He'd mentioned at their lunch how important it was that the campaign speeches in Ohio go well.

"I'm sorry we had to meet here," Margaret said, rushing into the lobby as through they were in mid-conversation. They'd set up lunch more than a week earlier, but Margaret had called her that morning and asked apologetically if they could eat in the cafeteria at the White House. "Debate negotiations aren't going as well as we'd hoped. Leo… there's just no way I can be gone for long."

Donna smiled at the glimpse of what her life might have been like had she stayed with Josh. "That's ok, I'm just glad we could get together."

Margaret stopped and looked at her, finally leaning in and giving her a quick hug. "Me too, and the food in the Mess is pretty good, although deceptively unhealthy."

Donna laughed and followed her down a hallway and then a set of stairs. They passed a woman Josh had introduced her to, but she couldn't remember the woman's name, so she nodded and smiled but said nothing. When they reached the cafeteria, they stood in a short line and Margaret ordered a salad while Donna chose a fruit and yogurt plate, then they sat at a table for two against a wall to catch up.

"So…" Margaret said. "What have you been up to for the last four years?"

"College, work and more college," she said, giving her the short version and finding it surprisingly sad that there was so little life and so much routine to it. "You?"

"Work, very little sleep and more work."

Donna smiled before dipping a strawberry into the vanilla yogurt and taking a bite. There was a brief pause that was somewhat awkward and it occurred to her that she really barely knew this woman. They'd been friends during the campaign all those years ago, but certainly hadn't formed some sort of lasting bond. "Josh took me on a tour a few weeks ago," she said when the silence had stretched as long as it could. "This place certainly is different from that old warehouse in Manchester."

Margaret looked around unimpressed and Donna wondered if after four years she would've done the same. Granted, the cafeteria wasn't much to look at, but she hated to think that she could ever get used to the sheer awesomeness of the White House. "It may look different, but it's just as hectic. Maybe even more so."

"I'm sure." Another pause and Donna found herself glad Margaret didn't have much time for lunch. "So… Josh's assistant seems…nice," she said in a questioning tone.

Margaret took a bite of her salad. "She's very efficient, definitely the best assistant he's had since we've been in the White House."

Donna's eyes widened. "How many has he had?"

"Four… I think; three in the first year. But then he split up the responsibilities and hired a research assistant and a scheduling assistant. It works out better that way. Jason and April have been with him for more than two years."

Josh walked into the cafeteria then and up to the counter and Donna found her attention wavering as her eyes were drawn to his rolled up sleeves and half-undone tie.

"Josh said you're in law school. How do you like it?"

"It's…" She tried to focus on Margaret but kept one eye on Josh. "…great. I love it, really. It's hard, but…" She should go up and say hi. They'd had lunch. It was awkward free. There was conversation and smiling and dimples and maybe, if she looked hard enough and really let her imagination run away with her, a little flirting. She should just go up and say hi.

"How much time do you have left?" Or stay with Margaret, with whom she was having lunch. It wasn't her favorite option, but seemed like the polite one.

"This is my…" he turned around with a tray in his hand and had taken about two steps before he saw her and shock registered on his face. She smiled widely at him, finding that she simply had no control over her facial muscles when in his presence, and he smiled back before walking their way. She looked at Margaret, wondering if the older woman could tell that her cheeks were flushed. "I'm sorry, what was the question?"

"Hey," Josh said, reaching their table.

"Hi," she said, Margaret all but forgotten.

He held his tray against his waist and she looked at fries and a burger she imagined was burnt beyond recognition. This April woman might be efficient, but Donna doubted she was taking care of Josh properly. "I just left you a message at your office. I didn't know you were going to be here today. Are you meeting with Sam?"

She shook her head. "No, just meeting Margaret for lunch."

He looked across from her as if noticing Margaret sitting there for the first time. "Oh." He paused and looked back at Donna. "I tried to call you."

"You said that," Margaret said.

He shot Margaret a look before focusing on Donna again. "I only have your work number."

Donna's eyes widened. "You do? I should…" she trailed off and looked at him for a second, his dimples out and a look of what she wanted to believe was happiness at seeing her. It took a few seconds to tear her eyes away, and then she picked up her purse and pulled out a pen and a business card. She wrote her cell and home numbers on the card and put it on his tray. "Here."

He looked down at the business card and back up at her with a grin. "Is that an eight?"

"It's a perfectly legible eight," she said with a grin of her own.

"So you say," he teased, his dimples pronounced even more. Then he looked back at Margaret. "Leo was looking for you a minute ago."

Margaret sat up straighter. "Did he need something?"

"I think so. I just heard him yelling your name."

Without a word, Margaret put her half-eaten salad and her silverware on her tray and stood up. Donna watched unsurprised; Margaret's loyalties had always been to Leo and the site of it still so strong amongst such change was comforting. There was a time, somewhere between hiring herself and falling in love with Josh that she wondered if twenty years later they'd be their own version of Leo and Margaret.

Margaret looked at her apologetically. "I'm so sorry…"

"That's ok," Donna said with a smile. "We'll try again after the election."

She and picked up her purse. "Absolutely. You want me to walk you out?"

"I got it," Josh said, nudging her out of the way and sitting in her spot after putting his tray down in her place, all the while never taking his eyes off Donna.

Donna looked at him and then up at Margaret, trying to reel in her excitement at the change in lunch partners. "I'm good, thanks."

She watched Margaret leave and turned to Josh, who had a victorious look on his face. She studied him while he took a bite of his burger and when he looked up at her, he tried to appear innocent. "What?"

One side of her mouth quirked up. "Leo needed Margaret?"

He shrugged and smirked at her. "Probably."

"You're incorrigible," she said, shaking her head as if scolding him but doubting seriously that he'd believe it. She felt ready to burst with excitement and was certain anyone within a fifty yard radius could tell. "You couldn't have ordered something healthier than a burger and fries," she asked, changing the subject and stealing a fry off his plate.

He leaned back and took a drink of coke, still smirking. "And leave you nothing to steal off my plate?"

"I could've stolen a carrot stick."

"That wouldn't have been as much fun." He put down the coke and looked at her, freaking her out just a little with his silence. "You could've stopped by my office," he said in a serious tone. "Said hello."

Lies started popping into her head. 'I was going to after lunch.' 'I didn't want to interrupt your work.' 'I didn't want to get arrested for wandering the White House.' But she didn't want to lie to him, not now. Not after four years of not having him and then being let back into his life; he deserved more than that from her. So she took a deep breath and looked straight at him. "I wanted to. I didn't know if it would be ok… with you."

They sat quietly looking at each other for several seconds, his eyes boring into hers, and she worried that she'd been too forward, brought up things better left in the past. But then he pushed his tray forward a little on the table and leaned over it, speaking softly enough that only she could hear. "It would be ok with me."

They kept looking at each other, their faces as close as possible across the small table, until it seemed everyone was gone but the two of them. She smiled slightly, and when he kept looking at her, it turned into beaming and she nodded. "Then next time I will."

He watched her for another second or two before taking a strawberry from her plate and leaning back in his seat. "Good," he said, popping it into his mouth with a grin.

She was positive something had just happened there, even if she couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, and her imagination started running off towards a honeymoon spot in the Caribbean and a shirtless Josh on a beach. Trying to calm her nerves, she stabbed some more fruit with her fork and ate it. "You said you called me?" she said after swallowing some cantaloupe.

"I don't know how you eat that stuff," he said with the look of a child eating liver. "But yes, I did. There's a thing this weekend."

"A thing?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably.

"Yeah, Sam said we should go."

She raised her eyebrows. The three of them were going someplace? That didn't sound like a date; that sounded like work. Suddenly her imagination hit a brick wall just before Josh rubbed suntan lotion on her back on that beach. "Is it something for the bill?"

His eyes widened. "The bill?" he asked with a confused voice. "No… I mean, he said you and I should go; not all three of us."

"Oh…"

"But… I mean… we could invite him if you wanted to. It's… you know… a public thing. We can't really stop him from going." He was babbling and sounding a bit nervous, and somehow it made her less so.

And she didn't know if it was because of that, or because she was no longer that kid he had to watch out for, or because this was her second chance at this and she doubted she'd have a third, but suddenly something in her was screaming to stop pretending that she wanted nothing more than a friendship with him. "Well then… if it's a public thing, he can go on his own, right? He doesn't have to come with us."

He looked at her and paused and she thought maybe… maybe he heard what she'd really just said. "Right. Good, right. He can go alone. Forget Sam, he's nobody."

"And where will be going, exactly?" she asked with a hint of laughter in her voice. Not that it mattered. She couldn't imagine a place she wouldn't go with him.

He looked at her as though he already mentioned it. "The Taste of Washington. It's all weekend, a few blocks from here. I've never been, but Sam said it's great."

"I went last year with Liz, it's fun."

"Yeah? So you want to go?"

"Absolutely. When?"

"See…" he said, leaning back and hanging his head a bit. "That's where things get sticky."

"Sticky?"

"The debate's in two weeks…"

"So you have to work this weekend," she finished for him.

He looked at her sadly and nodded. "We're spending next weekend in New Hampshire and I have to get Stackhouse to drop out of the race before then. But," he said, sitting up and leaning forward. "I'm thinking I could get away for a few hours either Saturday or Sunday. I just don't know which one yet."

"So I should be prepared to go both days?" she asked with an amused look.

"It's an attractive offer, I know. My attentiveness is unparalleled."

"Yes, I'm being swept right off my feet. It's a good thing I'm sitting down."

He smirked. "I'm charming like that."

She poured the two virgin daiquiris and grabbed a bag of Doritos out of the cabinet. Since their traditional 'brainstorming' was out of the question now that Liz was pregnant, they'd settled on junk food, movies, and virgin drinks. Donna wasn't sure why hers had to be virgin, but Liz assured her that's what a friend would do.

She walked back into the living room and handed Liz her drink before sitting on the hideous sofa and putting her feet up on the coffee table. She hoped the subject they'd been discussing would change, but as soon as she was comfortable, Liz picked up where they'd left off. "You guys need to go on a date when he doesn't have to go back to work. Then you could… you know."

In her quest to stop pretending, she'd come partially clean with Liz; admitting that there might possibly be a slight inclination towards him that some could consider a very slight, almost miniscule, attraction. She thought it was a break through of sorts, but Liz didn't buy it for a minute.

"No, I don't know."

"Then it's worse than I thought. See Donna, when a man and a woman like each other, they take off all their clothes and…."

"You're not funny."

"Yes I am."

"Ok," Donna acquiesced. "Yes, you are. But Josh and I are…" meant to be, written in the stars, what romance movies are made of. "Friends. We're just hanging out."

"Hanging out," Liz snorted. "Another term for dating without sex."

"No… another name for friendship."

Liz looked over at her with raised eyebrows. "Except that you'd like to get naked with him."

She would. She really would. "I never said that."

"But you never denied it."

"Your point?" she deadpanned before taking a drink of the glorified strawberry slush.

"Do you want to get naked with Mark?"

"Gross!" she coughed out, trying not to spit out her drink. "No!"

"See," Liz said, popping a Dorito into her mouth. "That you denied."

She sighed and leaned back on the sofa, her head on the back and her eyes closed. "Can we change the subject now?"

"Yes. I've had enough fun at your expense tonight."

She opened an eye to see Liz staring at her. "Gee, thanks."

"You're welcome." A smile lit Liz's face. "Let's talk about Hannah."

Donna snickered and sat up. "You can't keep calling the baby Hannah. What if it's a boy? He'll have a complex."

Liz rubbed her stomach. "She's a girl. I can tell."

"Uh huh…"

"I'm a mother. We have instincts."

"You're certifiably insane."

"Anyway," Liz said as she stood up and drained her glass, then walked towards the kitchen. "Last night, Hannah was kicking and…"

"She's the size of a peanut. She was not kicking."

"I'm telling you, I felt something."

"Yeah, gas."

"Have you ever been pregnant?" This had become Liz's favorite way of winning an argument.

"No."

"Then Hannah was kicking."

Donna gestured towards her. "So sorry, please go on."

Liz smiled and nodded. "So, Hannah was kicking and Tom got on his knees so he was at her level and talked to her through my stomach. It was very cute."

It was cute. Perfectly adorably cute. She and Tom were that couple that made everyone want what they had. They teased and touched and kissed each other on the cheek and were just shy of sickeningly sweet. And where other people might have found out they'd accidentally gotten pregnant and spent a little time freaking out, they'd had not a single doubt.

"Let me ask you something," Donna said as Liz came back into the living room eating Ben and Jerry's. "But first… I have Ben and Jerry's?"

Liz nodded and scooped out a big glop, holding the spoon for Donna who leaned forward and ate it. "I brought it over Saturday and put it in your fridge for pregnancy emergencies."

"Of course," Donna said, chuckling at her. "We wouldn't want utter pandemonium."

Liz ignored her and took a bite of ice cream. "You wanted to ask me a question."

"Right. You and Tom… you've known each other for years, right?"

"Six years."

"But you've been dating for only ten months."

"Yes…"

"Do you regret that? That you didn't date sooner?"

"No."

"No?"

Liz shook her head. "No."

Donna sat up, pulling her feet underneath her and looking intently at Liz. "That's it. You're not going to elaborate?"

Liz handed Donna the ice cream and she scooped out a spoonful. "If we'd dated six years ago, we wouldn't have lasted."

"You might have," Donna said around a piece of cookie dough.

"Nah. We weren't who we are now. Tom was the typical twenty something; closing down the bars, sleeping with a new girl every month, living in a run down apartment in the ghetto with Mark and some idiot named Brad. And I was young. When we met, I'd just gotten back from backpacking across Europe for six months because the thought of getting a job after college and working like the rest of the world scared the crap out of me. How could I ask a man to love me when I wasn't even me yet? You know what I mean?"

Donna regarded her for a long moment before nodding slightly. "Yeah," she said quietly. "I think I do." She handed Liz back the ice cream and looked back at the muted television as an old episode of 'Laverne and Shirley' came on.

"Don't get me wrong though, I thought he was hot. He had the whole Greenwich Village look going on."

"Yeah?" she asked, glancing over at Liz.

"Oh yeah. Yes indeed. Why we never had a one-night stand I don't know." She paused for a second. "But I'm glad we didn't."

When she walked into the White House and through the metal detector that Sunday, he was waiting in the lobby for her with a sheepish grin on his face and wearing jeans that nearly made her knees buckle. He'd called on Saturday morning and apologetically postponed until the next day, and she knew that had he been any other man she would've been pissed. Still, he wasn't any other man and even if it made her weak, she couldn't find it in herself to be mad at him. His brilliance, his dedication, the effort he put into his job were all things she fell in love with all those years ago and to penalize him for them now was impossible. Plus, he was wearing those jeans…

They walked back towards his office as he asked her about the paper she'd spent three weeks working on for 'Higher Education Law and Policy,' and she found herself reeling that he remembered something she'd mentioned in passing while they walked back from Jonathan's a week earlier. "I turned it in on Friday," she said proudly.

It was quiet for a second. "I'm sorry I had to cancel yesterday."

"You didn't cancel," she said with a smile. "You postponed."

"Still…"

She cut him off. "There's a big difference, Josh. Believe me, I'm a woman. I know these things."

He chuckled and put his hand on her back to guide her through the doors to his section of the building. "Would you hit me with your purse if I said I have to do one more thing before we go?"

"Nah, the Secret Service would probably take me out for something like that."

They walked into his office and April walked in behind them. "Toby's almost done with Jeffrey Peters. If you're going to accidentally stop in there, you need to do it now." Must get Peters. She smiled at the memory.

He looked at April. "Ok. Pull me out of there in five minutes. And find me some Bayer."

April nodded and walked out as Josh turned back to Donna. "Five minutes and I'm all yours."

"Should I…" she hooked a thumb over her shoulder towards the door.

"No, it's fine. I'll be right back."

She nodded and watched him leave before looking around the room. There was a chalkboard in the corner with a large 29 in the center of it circled several times with red marker and it took her a few seconds to realize that there were 29 days until the election. She continued scanning and her eyes landed on a picture frame on his desk. She walked to it and picked it up, smiling at the same picture of his parents that had been in the frame four years earlier. He was quite the spitting image of his father; the same hair, the same build, the same boyish look in his eyes. His dimples, however, were from his mother, and she suspected that as a child he hated them until he learned how to use them to his advantage.

"Excuse me," April said as she reached around her and put a bottle of Aleve down on the desk.

"Sorry, I was just…" Donna looked at the bottle again. "I think he asked for Bayer."

"He always asks for Bayer," April said, turning and walking towards the door. "He gets Aleve."

She stared at the empty doorway for a good minute after April was gone, fighting every instinct she had to walk out to that horrible woman's desk and explain to her in a not so quiet voice that Bayer was better for people who might be prone to a heart attack, which Josh probably was since he'd been shot in the chest while doing his job to make the world fit to live in. And that maybe, just maybe, she could do a little bit to help make that job easier and to show that she appreciated the fact that he worked eighty hours a week and sacrificed any sort of personal life and was almost killed to make sure she lived in a safe, free, prosperous country and that stopping by the fucking CVS and buying Bayer for him might be a way to start.

"Ok, I'm all yours for the next two hours and twenty-five minutes." The sound startled her and she jumped a little and tore her eyes from the door to see Josh standing directly in front of her. Between the anger and the shock of his voice coming from the other doorway, her breathing was a bit erratic and her hands were shaking. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them and looking at him again. "Are you ok?" he asked with a worried look, touching her arm lightly.

She glanced over at the desk and then to the door April had left through. "She brought Aleve," she said quietly, as though that answered the question.

He squinted his eyes in confusion and looked over at the desk. "Ok."

There were certain things neither had mentioned since spending time together again. The fact that she left, the campaign afterwards, and the shooting topped that list, and she knew it might have been too soon, too serious for what they were now, but she quietly and slowly asked him anyway. "But you should use Bayer, shouldn't you?"

He looked away from her, back to the bottle of pills on the desk as silence fell on the room. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed and then cautiously looked back at her, holding her gaze for a moment before quietly saying, "Yeah."

She continued looking at him, hoping the look in her eyes was of understanding and compassion and that he wouldn't mistake it for pity. She was itching to rest her hand on his chest over his heart, to thank him for living through that nightmare, to apologize for not being there, but she settled for looping her arm through his and walking him towards the door. "Then we'll stop by the drugstore and pick up a bottle to leave in your desk," she said in as light a voice as possible as they left the office.

zzzzzzzzzzz

Josh was quiet as they walked the few blocks to the part of Pennsylvania Avenue that was blocked off for the Taste of Washington, but Donna chatted about anything and everything she could think of, hoping to put him at ease. It worked pretty easily she thought, when, like her, he couldn't help laughing at stories of Tom and Liz and the pregnancy.

"Ooh, let's try this," Josh said as he pulled her by the arm to a small line in front of a booth with a sign hanging over it that read, 'Corky's BBQ: Brisket, Pulled Pork, Fried Corn.'

"Fried corn?"

"Well… you know… if you've got to eat vegetables, it certainly helps to fry them."

"Yes," she said with a grin. "Take out as much nutrition as possible."

"Exactly," he said with a smirk of his own. "And this is about trying new things. I'd hazard a guess that you've never had fried corn?"

"That's a safe bet," she said as he bought two half-cobs of a lightly battered fried corn. They'd already had pizza from a new place in Foggy Bottom and a gouda cheese and tomato something or another that Josh had quickly spit out into a napkin, but Donna was having so much fun that she didn't even care that they were eating mostly crap.

They walked around for a while after that, talking about the still warm weather and how much Josh disliked the President's farm in New Hampshire and the fact that if the Mets won two of their upcoming games, they'd make it into the playoffs. His hand stayed on her back the entire time, maneuvering her between crowds and leading her around in that way of his that never failed to make her feel both safe and nervous as hell at the same time.

It seemed that everyone was out on that Sunday afternoon, and anyone who was anyone wanted five minutes with Josh. He was polite, introducing her to those people she didn't know, which was most of them, but excused himself quickly each time, telling whomever it was to call him at the office that week. And each time, as they walked away, he'd lean in close enough to her that she could feel his breath on her ear and apologize for the interruption.

They listened to some live music by a local band neither had ever heard of, and after two songs, they knew why and started walking again, passing the Teatro Goldoni booth. Donna stopped. "I hear this place is great."

He looked up at the sign and led her over to the line. "It is. They have great fettuccini alfredo."

When they reached the front of the line, she ordered a sample of risotto and he ordered a sample of fettuccini alfredo.

"You already know what that tastes like," she said after he ordered.

"Yes, and I know I like it," he said, handing the man four tickets and picking up the two Styrofoam bowls and two sporks.

She laughed at him and stuck her spork into his fettuccini, taking a bite and moaning. "That's… wow."

"I told you," he said with a chuckle as he took two more bites that finished it and then threw his spork and bowl away.

She took a bite of her risotto and closed her eyes. "Mmmm…" she said in bliss. She was going to have to save up the money to go there. "Unbelievable."

"Sounds like it."

She opened her eyes and saw him smirking at her, and her mouth dropped open a bit and she hit him lightly on the shoulder. "Pervert."

"What?" he asked innocently. "I merely commented on the taste of your risotto."

She tried not to smile at him but found it impossible. "It's incredible; taste it," she said, holding her bowl out to him.

He looked into the bowl and then up at her. "I uh…" he said, holding up his empty hands.

She looked at him strangely until she got what he was saying. "You're not one of those people, are you?"

He raised his eyebrows. "One of what people?"

"People who can't share silverware."

"No… I just…" She grinned at him and held a sporkfull of risotto up to him. He looked at her for a second before leaning in and closing his mouth around it. "That is good," he said as he leaned back and looked at her, and she found that she had to fight the urge to stick the spork directly into her mouth.

"I told you," she said with a dry mouth.

He must've noticed something behind her then because his eyes widened and he mumbled 'oh shit' under his breath.

"What?" she asked as she turned around, stopping suddenly at the sight of Amy Gardner walking towards them. 'Oh shit,' her sentiment exactly.

"My ex," he said quietly into her ear from behind her.

"Josh," Amy said in a monotone voice as she approached.

"Amy," he said shortly, coming around from behind Donna, but putting his hand on her back as it had been all afternoon.

"You had Jeffrey Peters call the senator?"

Donna looked over at him as he tried to hide a smirk and was certain she knew why he'd 'accidentally' walked into Toby's meeting earlier. "I told you a month ago he needed to drop out."

She crossed her arms over his chest and huffed at him. "So you sicked the chairman of the DNC on him?"

He didn't deny it but instead chose to stand there and stare her down. "I assume it worked?" he asked and Donna wondered again why this woman continued to try to beat him at his game. Did she really not know how brilliant he was?

Amy glared at him for a few seconds before raising and eyebrow and replying. "He's dropping out before Red Mass tonight." She looked over at Donna then and studied her before nodding. "Donna…"

Donna did her best to smile politely. "Amy…"

Amy turned back to Josh with a look of venom. "I heard you were dating someone new. Moved from women's issues to children's, have you?"

Josh looked over at Donna. "You two know each other?" he asked with shock on his face.

She nodded dumbly but it was Amy who spoke. "What's wrong Josh? Worried we'll swap stories?"

His eyes moved quickly to Amy, his jaw set and fire in his eyes. He took a breath as if calming himself and spoke quietly but firmly. "No. Donna would never do that. If you'll excuse us…" he said and turned and led Donna away.

Neither of them said anything until they were far out of Amy's sight, and Donna couldn't help wondering what it meant that he hadn't corrected Amy, that he'd let her think they were dating. Were they? Did he just want to save face?Did he want her to be jealous? "So…" Donna finally said. "Amy…."

"One of my more disastrous relationships," he said with a chuckle, his hand still on her back as they walked.

She looked over at him with a smile. "I don't think you have very good taste in women."

He shrugged and kept walking, his hand drifting a bit further up her back. "I don't know," he said with a grin her way. "I think it's improving."