Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and (insert smart-ass quote here).
Matt and company were waiting for Pat to pick up his phone.
Matt: Where the fuck is that lazy bastard?
Pat: Right here. Uh...I mean...Snorlax?
Matt: Finally! Let's go to the gy... WHY IS THE GYM A GAY BAR!
Misty: The leader must be gay.
Matt: I'll need a female pokemon, or else he'll try and rape my male pokemon.
Misty: You sure you just don't want another pussy to fuck?
Matt: I do now! Let's go to the Safari Zone!
Matt and company then went to the Safari Zone.
Guide: Here's your Safariballs, some bait, and some rocks.
Matt: What are these for?
Guide: You can't use outside pokeballs or pokemon.
Matt: WHAT THE FUCK? Oh well then.
Matt then went into the Safari Zone and walked around. Suddenly Captain Planet jumped out from behind a bush. Matt then threw a Safariball at him, catching him instantly.
Matt: Cool.
Misty: You sure that was a pokemon?
Matt: Certainly.
Matt then walked up a snowy mountain.
: I want some Cheesy Poofs!
Matt then threw a Safariball at him catching him instantly. This pattern continued as Matt caught more cartoon celebrity's, who he unknowingly thought were pokemon. This continued until Matt and company ran into a crater.
Matt: Whoa! What happened here?
Mooreluv2006: I fucking crash landed! Now I'm going to fucking kill you!
Matt: Look over there!
Mooreluv2006: What!
Matt then threw a Safariball at her head.
Mooreluv2006: OW! THAT FUCKING HURT! I'M GOING TO FUCKING RIP YOUR FUCKING NUTS OFF!
Matt then threw another Safariball, this time at her crotch.
Mooreluv2006: I ain't got nuts. You can't hurt me down there!
She revved the chainsaw.
Matt then threw rocks at her.
Mooreluv2006: THAT FUCKING HURT! I'LL KILL YOU!
Matt then threw some bait at her.
Mooreluv2006: Well, if you insist.
She got down on her hands and knees and started eating the food.
Mooreluv2006: FUCKING DELICIOUS!
Matt then threw another Safariball.
Mooreluv2006: FUCKING STOP THAT SO I CAN KILL YOU!
Matt: Why the fuck isn't this working!
Matt then noticed the little circle in the center of the Safariball.
Matt: What the fucking hell does this shit do?
Matt turned the circle and glowing red letters appeared on the ball. It said Pokemon,
Matt: Nope.
then object,
Matt: Close.
after that human,
Matt: Maybe.
and finally virginity.
Matt: Haha! She lost that a long time ago to a broom handle!
Matt the switched it back to human and threw the Safariball. It hit her and sucked her inside.
Ding... ding...DING!
Matt: All right! I caught a Mooreluv2006!
Screen: Would you like to nickname captured Mooreluv2006?
Mooreluv2006, muffled: YOU FUCKING NICKNAME ME I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING NUTS OFF!
Matt, holding nuts: Mooreluv2006 is fine!
After Matt got the female pokemon he was looking for he decided that Mew was going to be good enough so he decided not to train it. Matt and company then went to the gay bar/ gym to get Matt's next badge.
There you go Mooreluv2006, your on the team. I'll take my reward in the form of porno magazines. Lesbian, preferablely.