Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and YOUR SOUL! MWAHAHAHA!
Matt and company were at the door of the Fuchsia City Gym when something hit all three of them.
Matt: God damn it! We have to protect or asses if we're going into a gay bar!
Matt then duck taped him pants to his ass, Mew wore a hobo's pants, Misty dressed up as the straightest man on the planet, Ryan C-crest (Hahahaha! Yeah right!), and poor, unlucky Brock, had no other clean pants except for his ass-less chaps with the target on them. The group then entered the bar, and all eyes turned on them, Brock and Misty were instantly grabbed and anally raped.
Matt: I'm here to challenge the gym leader!
Koga walks down the bar top and humps his crotch in his face.
Koga: I'm Koga. Want to fight, sexy?
Matt: GET YOUR NUTS OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I RIP THEM OFF! And yes, I do want to battle!
Koga: Let's go then! Go Beedrill!
Matt: Go Pat!
Beedrill and Pat popped out of their pokeballs.
Matt: Pat! Use...
But before he could announce an attack, Pat grabbed Beedrill and ate it.
Koga: WHAT! Oh well. GO GAY GANG BANG GROUP!
Koga then threw 100 pokeballs and out came 100 Venomoth.
Matt: Go Mew! Use Double team!
Mew then ran so fast that it looked like there were hundreds of them.
Matt: Mew! Use Transform!
Mew was then Gandolf the Grey, and Gandolf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, and The Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston, Theodor Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Oct, and Hulk Hogan. He came out of nowhere lightning fast, and he killed Koga, and his gay fag ass! It was the second bloodiest battle, that the world ever saw, with civilians looking on in total awe. The fighting raged on for seconds, many lives were claimed, but eventually, the champion stood, the fags saw their better, Matt and Mew, in blood-stained horribly unattractive pants.
This is the Ulti...whoa, not singing the song here. Matt then walked up to Koga's body, but he waited for Misty to come and grab the badge out of his ass though, Matt was not prepared to do something that gay. Misty then reached in there and grabbed the badge.
Koga: Oh Yeah, Ash! Deeper! YEAH! DEEPER ASH!
Matt then ripped off Koga's head and shoved it in a blender.
Matt: NEVER! MIX ME UP WITH THAT PUSSY-ASSED WEAKLING, AGAIN!
Matt and company then walked outside.
Alex Trebec: Hi, I'm Alex Trebec, or at least that's what my nametag a says.
Matt, holding a mirror: No it doesn't, see.
Alex Trebec: Oh! I'm apparently Kebert Xela!
He instantly exploded into a bloody paste covering everything.
Matt: Now let's go to the next gym. Uh...where is it?
Brock: On Cinnabar Island.
Matt: AN ISLAND! HOW THE FUCK DO WE GET THERE?
Brock: You teach a pokemon to swim and ride it there.
Matt: HOW THE FUCK DO WE DO THAT!
Suddenly the clouds swirled around and formed the form of the Fonz.
Fonz: MATT! I am your spirit guide!
Matt: THE FONZ! Fonzie be praised!
Fonz: MATT! You must go back to Pallet Town and swim to Cinnabar Island from there!
Matt: Do I have to walk there?
Fonz: NO! You just have to get there!
Matt: Why should I believe you?
Fonz: I AM COOLNESS! And I'll give you my second favorite pokemon, an Articuno, nicknamed Mini-Fonz.
Matt: AWESOME!
Fonz: May the Fonz be with you!
Matt: And also with you!
The Fonz then disapeered..
Matt: Ok! Let's go!
Misty: HOW THE FUCKING HELL DO WE DO THAT?
Matt: I have an idea!
Matt then tied a rope around Misty's foot and tied Brock to the other end. Matt and Mew then crawled inside Misty's vagina.
Misty: OH YES! OH GOD YES! DEEPER! DEEPER!
Matt then tied Buterfree to Misty's waist and Buterfree took off. The group then flew all the way to Pallet Town, Matt and Mew fucking Amy the whole way there.
Misty's magical flying vagina! It was very warm in there! Yay!