CHAPTER 4
By id62000
"Akira san?" Akiko walked into the Go study room where Father and son were recreating games.
"Hai", Akira got up from his position in front of his goban.
"This letter came this morning" Akika smiled and sat down next to her already seated son, "Congratulations!"
Akira hardly looked surprised but his eyes expressed his curiosity.
"What is it Oka san?" He asked all emotions hidden behind his mask.
"You're Five Dan, Akira san!" Akiko smiled wider.
"Ah!" was all she got out of him as he bent his head.
"Congratulations" Touya Kouya said, a small smile lightening up his features.
"Thank you, Otto san" Akira accepted the letter and folded it away quietly, eyes falling back to his goban.
"That's two Dans rise Akira san" Akiko stated the obvious but still somehow expecting no reply.
"Hai" Akira's eyes never left the goban as he continued to firmly place stones to the pattern of a recreating game.
"Akira san, I know this may be personal, but you cut school today because…why?" Akiko watched her son place a white stone on the goban.
"Because, I wanted to clear my head of something bothering me." Akira looked up, a lost expression on his face.
"Does it have anything to do with this game?" Touya san sat down at the other end of the goban.
Akira nodded, not wishing to be so impolite as to scramble the game.
"Indeed?" Touya san studied the goban, "A beginner's game?"
"I hope not." replied Akira, betraying nothing.
"This one-the black-is definitely a strong pro, inexperienced but definitely strong. The white…."Touya san spaced out leaving his words hanging in the air.
"is familiar?" some emotion streamed through Akira's voice.
"…I recognize…yet - weak!" Touya watched his son place more stones on the goban , "Very weak…so…it's not possible!"
Akira placed a stone that pulled both sides into yose.
"When was this played?" Touya questioned. Few years back? That would make sense. Maybe a long time ago?
"Two days ago" The reply shocked the older Touya.
"Two? Then it cannot be…"
Akira continued towards the end of the yose. The loss was easily read – several mokus…
"It cannot be…Sai.!"
Akira dropped the stone he was holding. It fell on the board, bounced lightly with another stone and settled down with a final clatter.
"It cannot be! This is not Sai's game…Akira san?"
Akira raised his head from the goban.
"Sai?"
Has his father recognized it too? No, Sai was not Shindou! The Old Shindou? The New Shindou? Or the Present Shindou who played this horrible game? Sai, was above all Shindous.
"No, not Sai" Akira shook his head - both in denial and an attempt to straighten things out. 'Figuring out Shindou only gives you a headache'. He reminded himself.
"Shindou not Sai!" Akira insisted.
Sai is not Shindou. Shindou is not Shuusuka. Shuusuka is not Sai. Shindou is not Sai!
But that did not make sense. But the other way round made absolutely no sense at all either…if not less. Somehow the three were connected – but…how? It was invisible-that thread that tied them all together! He knew it was there - but where? Why couldn't he see it?
Breaking all of the thousand facades, pretenses and barriers he wore - Akira sighed.
"Akira san! Are you all right?" Akiko asked concerned.
"Shindou-headache!" Akira muttered unconsciously. The consistent presence of this headache had put forward an urgent need to name it. So it seemed only logical to name it after the person responsible for it - Shindou!
"I'm just being…not myself." Akira raised his eyes to his father's thoughtful ones, as he avoided the word that tugged at him from the deep corner of his mind. Stupid. "What kind of game did I expect after Shindou lost two continuous matches? One that outshone them all?" Akira shook his head. That was irrational. Even the word 'outshine' seemed alien in this milieu.
"If you have lost emotionally – you have already lost the game" Touya san smiled wanly at the goban, "But no doubt Shindou will recover - if he has not already done so."
"Otto san - I respect your judgment, but in this game against Hon Suyon , Korean Third Board,– Shindou saw something I didn't! I know he did. He was different after the game…or…was he his normal self? A weak game – but Shindou saw something! I can't see it – however much I play it again and again! I can't! What is it?"
Touya Kyoto paused in his actions, then without hesitation cleared the board.
Akira looked up in surprise, "Otto san!"
"Akira san." The elder Touya eclipsed the gleaming white stones with the kata-wood cover and placed the container on the wooden board next to its dark counterparts. "What makes you think that the change in emotion had anything to do with this game at all?"
"The game was poorly played" admitted Akira, "And there was no sudden change in strength throughout the game. But Shindou was back to his old self after we left the salon. He seemed strangely…satisfied. As if – he found something in the game! Something I missed? Overlooked? Ignored?"
"There was nothing in the game!" Touya Kyoto rose and Akiko and Akira rose as well, "The game was as you saw it – empty!"
Akira looked at his father in surprise, "Empty?"
"We like to call it 'Mechanical Go'" his father continued, "It automatically takes over when your mind is…pre-occupied. Shindou kun's change of mood has nothing to do with the game - and everything to do with his thoughts."
Shindou was only thinking of something else? During such an important game?
"Isn't that dangerous?" Akira asked.
"If Shindou kun thinks that something…or someone is of a more pressing concern than the game…?"
Something? Someone? More important? Didn't Shindou mention that he promised to play the Korean player? Didn't he want to defeat him? Show who's superior?
"Dinner's ready!" Akiko announced cheerfully, wanting to somehow cool the suddenly hot room.
'Shindou!' thought Akira fuming quietly, 'You are as unpredictable as your Go!'