Chapter 14- Gai's Insane (but good enough) Plan…
GAI: Hey! My brilliant plan is NOT insane!
"Okay, Gai… What is your reason for bringing us all here?"
"A very good question, my springtime of life rival… We are all gathered here… To help a student with his desire for love!"
"Are you talking about my student, Shikamaru?" Asuma asked.
"CORRECT! Very well said, Asuma! And for that, you get a cookie!"
"Alright! Thanks a lot, Gai!" 3
"So, Gai… I guess you're helping Shikamaru get the role of the prince so he can be with Ino, right?" Kakashi asked.
"You are correct, my rival!"
"Hey, don't I get a cookie for this?"
"Nope! We're rivals, remember?"
"Okay! If you say so!" Kakashi replies with a smile on his face. Then, reaches deep into his pocket and…
GAI: Where on earth did you get that cookie?
KAKASHI: Huh? I was saving it for later! But then, I got kinda hungry! Sorry.
They were all crowded in a small room… The four jounin teachers- Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, Kakashi and some other students- Lee, Neji, Kiba, Choji, Naruto, and of course, Shikamaru. Anko was there, too…
ANKO: …hi!
"Anko, again, will you please stop eating those dumplings during important meetings? It's distractingly annoying!" Gai tells her.
"I don't see anything distractingly annoying about eating these tasty dumplings!" Anko says, chewing, "There's nothing wrong with the desire to eat!"
"I KNOW THAT! But it's disrespect to the person who is talking!"
"Now, why on earth should I respect you, huh, Gai?"
"At least pretend to be interested in this topic!"
"And what is the topic?"
"WE HAVE TO HELP SHIKAMARU WITH HIS DESIRE TO BE THE PRINCE IN THE PLAY!"
"Just switch him with Rock Lee, then! Doesn't sound too complicated, does it, Gai?"
"We already tried that, but unfortunately, Tsunade-sama didn't seem to agree."
"Oh… Then, do you have any bright ideas?"
"As a matter of fact, I do!"
Then, Gai grabs a whiteboard marker and begins writing on the board with his best penmanship…
KAKASHI: You call that 'your best penmanship'? I dunno… It looks more like a whole bunch of scribbles to me!
GAI: You're just jealous you can't write as terrible as I do!
KAKASHI: It's about time you found out how bad your handwriting was! Way to go, Gai!
GAI: Hargh… Anyway… Let's begin…
Then, Gai starts writing his master plan…
First, Lee stands in a corner, as if he's wandering around…
LEE: No problem! You can count on me and my wonderful acting talents, Gai-sensei!
Second, I want Naruto, Choji, Neji and Kiba to transform themselves into sound ninjas.
GAI: Naruto, I'm counting on you to change Choji, Neji and Kiba into sound ninjas!
NARUTO: I dunno… Would turning ourselves into Sakon, Tayuya, Kidoumaru and Jiroubou do the trick? They're the best ones I can think of!
GAI: That's good enough, Naruto! And for that, you get a cookie!
NARUTO: Wow! Thanks!
KAKASHI: Hey! Giving cookies to the rival's student is strictly prohibited!
GAI: I dunno… I kinda like this kid!
Third, I want…
KIBA: Excuse me, um, Sir Gai? I can't understand your handwriting… It's totally illegible!
GAI: Oh, fine then… Anko, you have a much better handwriting than I do! Write for me and please, try not to get any sauce on the board…
ANKO: But I'm hungry!
GAI: Anko, this I promise… If you write on the board for me, I swear I'll buy you a hundred dumplings! All of them, just for you!
ANKO: Really, Gai! OKAY! Please, rest those hands of yours and let me do the writing!
GAI: (Sighs in relief)
ANKO: So… What do you want me to write?
GAI: Just jot down what I say.
ANKO: But I can't write that fast! And I'm not that good in spelling, either!
GAI: DO YOU WANT THE DUMPLINGS OR NOT!
ANKO: YES, I WANT THEM!
GAI: THEN, WRITE!
ANKO: ALRIGHT ALREADY! STOP YELLING AT ME, DAMMIT!
KURENAI: Gee, Asuma, they sure make a cute couple, don't they?
ASUMA: Huh? Well, uh… I guess you're right.
GAI: Alright, Anko! Get ready! So, as I was saying… Step Three… I want the sound ninjas to attack my precious Lee! But don't hurt him that much, okay?
ANKO: (writing) Step three… Attack Lee… Do not hurt…
GAI: Fourth, Lee, I know you have great talent in acting and so, I want you to pretend you broke a leg, or something! Make Tsunade-sama believe that Oto ninjas attacked you, okay?
LEE: Yes, sir!
ANKO: (writing) Lee pretends he gets injured in battle… Fool Tsunade-sama…
GAI: Fifth, go to Tsunade-sama's office and tell her to give the role to Shikamaru!
ANKO: (writing) Go to Hokage's office… Give part to Shikamaru… Hey! When do I get my one hundred dumplings?
GAI: After this, Anko. Be patient. Okay! Step Six, Shikamaru gets the part of the prince in the play and happily shares his first kiss with Ino!
CHOJI: Actually, it'll be his third kiss! Right, Shikamaru?
SHIKAMARU: SHUT UP!
ANKO: (writing) Shikamaru becomes prince and lives happily ever after with Ino…
GAI: And that's about it! Six simple steps! Does it sound so hard to do?
LEE: It sounds like a piece of cake, Gai-sensei! You're a genius!
KAKASHI: So… What do the jounins do in this?
GAI: Nothing! We just watch!
KAKASHI: Oh…
GAI: We could execute the plan later, this afternoon, so that Shikamaru will be the prince in no time! Yeah! Anko, what are you writing?
ANKO: (writing) Step Seven… Anko gets her 100 dumplings… As Gai promised…
GAI: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! Let's go get you those one hundred dumplings already!
ANKO: Yata! Gai, you're the coolest!
GAI: (blushes) Huh? Oh… Of course I am!
KAKASHI: Ya know, when she said that, it kinda sounded like she meant the exact opposite of you being cool…
GAI: SHUT UP! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS! Shikamaru, we will do our very best to help you… The plan will take action this afternoon… Be ready to face Tsunade-sama, okay?
SHIKAMARU: You… You don't know how much this means to me! Thanks so much, Sir Gai!
GAI: Awww… You know me! I'm always here to help a young soul!
KAKASHI: Yeah… Sure…
GAI: OKAY! In just a matter of hours, my brilliant plan will be put into action!
ANKO: Yeah! Now let's go get my 100 dumplings!