A/N: Okay, well this chapter isn't that great either, but I thought it would be nice to have a seasonal chapter? It doesn't really relate to the song, but I thought it kinda of would… PLEASE REVIEW! I hope you don't think it's that bad… I'm going to put in the song, but not the character. OH AND THIS IS MY LONGEST CHAPTER! YAY!
I DO NOT OWN RENT!
PLEASE REVIEW!
April Showers Bring May Flowers
Summary: Who is April? What if she was still alive? Would Roger and Mimi still fall in love? Would Angel and Collins still meet the same way? How would the plot of the movie/play change? Would Mimi Angel Roger, and Collins still have AIDS? Read to find out.
Without You
(Present Day)
January 30th 1990
5:10pm E.S.T.
"Whatever." Was all he said before he left her in the room. She slid down against the wall and looked around – tears forming in her eyes. She tried to wipe them away, but she couldn't stop them. She knew she had made the biggest mistake of her life.
"Without you… The ground thaws, the rain falls… The grass grows…"
-:-
(Present Day)
February 16th 1990
1:23pm E.S.T.
She walked along the sidewalks, not looking at anybody. There she was, the girl who had lost her life, she wandered around the streets and looked at all her friends, happily in the Life Café chatting. She didn't approach them, she didn't even think about it. She looked towards the apartment building and kept walking. Mimi walked towards Benny's house, where Allison was gone; it was just going to be him and her. She shook her head, why had she done this? Mark, Roger, April, and Maureen were the people sitting the Life. She had moved out of the loft and was now living in another building, away from everybody else.
April and Roger were together – or so they say. They got together a couple of days after Roger and Mimi broke up. Mimi had cried as she packed away her things, Mark couldn't even provide her comfort… That day she moved out was the day that she saw Roger and April kissing again, they were back together for sure – that's what she had thought at the time – but they hadn't announced anything official. Angel – was still trying to talk to her, but Mimi wouldn't allow it. She shook her head and knocked on the door – only to be greeted by Benny. He stuck out his hand and she took it, grateful for the only comfort she was going to get.
"Welcome Mimi… To my home."
"Thanks." Was all she said before she entered the huge house where Benny and Allison lived.
"Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom."
-:-
(Present Day)
March 25th 1990
6:00pm E.S.T.
Mimi sat on the bench that Angel and herself had put April on that first day. She shook her head and tried to clear her thoughts. She placed her head in her hands and cried – for the first time in a long time, she cried. April was in the hospital and it was her fault. All this pain she was causing April was her fault. She shouldn't have done this. She looked around and saw movement in the dark.
"Mimi…" Angel appeared and Mimi tried to dry her tears, but did not succeed. Mimi watched as Angel got out a tissue and sat down next to Mimi. She dried her tears and wrapped an arm tightly around Mimi's shoulders.
"Angel." Mimi choked out and started to sob. Angel had found out about April and Roger. They were – what is the word – back together. Mimi leaned into Angel and found herself sobbing on her chest. It was her fault.
"Mimi… You are my best friend and I'm so sorry." Angel said the words that she had been feeling forever. It only caused Mimi to cry harder.
"Angel – my – best – friend – I – am – so – sorry." She choked on the last words and Angel wrapped her arms tighter around Mimi. "This – is – why – Roger – left – me… I – am – a – failure – and – a – whore." All her words were pronounced as half words, a pause between each word.
"No Mimi, that's not it… He just wants to spend the time he has with April."
"What – is – that – suppose – to – mean?"
"He loves you; he just needs time to realize that you're the on he loves and not April… Mimi, Roger is confused, he saw you with Benny, you saw him with April… I don't know what to say." Mimi buried her head in her best friend's chest and cried even harder.
"The children play, the stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you."
-:-
(Present Day)
April 1st 1990
12:00pm E.S.T.
Roger kissed April softly and looked around to the rest of the Bohemians. He shook his head and sighed. He walked out of the room and Mimi entered. They stared at each other then turned away. Mimi walked over to April's bed and sat down, she had only visited once since April had been in the hospital.
"Hey Meems…" April's voice was very small, she was weak and lonely. Collins and Angel stood near Mimi. "I am so sorry… I never-"
"April… You didn't have to say anything; I should be the one that is sorry. I should have never taken Roger anyway from you and now here you guys are! You can still get married – you have enough time."
"That is true." April closed her eyes.
"I love you April, you're one of my closest friends…"
"I know, I feel the same way… I acted like such a bitch, I shouldn't have done that."
"Don't worry about it; I was the real bitch…"
"No – Mimi, I was the bitch… I shouldn't have done that." April repeated and gripped her friend's hand. Mimi smiled and sat there chatting with her and catching up on what had happened. She couldn't help but think that ever since she was friends with April again, she was still so sad because her heart only burned for Roger and now… He was gone.
"The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you."
-:-
(Present Day)
May 7th 1990
3:00pm E.S.T.
"Roger – why won't you talk to me?" Mimi questioned as she entered the loft, Mark had let her in and when she found it empty, she had gone out looking for Roger – who she found very easily and then chased him back here.
"Mimi! It's over, why are you even tracking me down?"
"Please… I really want to work things out." Mimi said and he stared at her.
"There is nothing to work out here, I'm with April, you're with Benny."
"Please Roger, just give me-"
"Get out Mimi."
"Roger-"
"Get out." He repeated and this time she turned around and walked out of the door. She ran down the stairs and into the old apartment that she stayed in. Angel was sitting at the table and Collins was on the couch. They looked at her tear stained face pulled her inside.
"Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves."
-:-
(Present Day)
June 11th 1990
10:00pm E.S.T.
She sat shivering on the bathtub; she rubbed her arms and kept shivering. She was due to work in a couple of minutes. She kept shivering – she couldn't stop. She had stayed in the rain for too long, she thought that maybe standing in the rain were cure everything, but she was wrong. Roger didn't want her anymore, he didn't want a cheating bitch, even thought she hadn't done anything.
"Mimi – what are you doing?" She heard a voice she hadn't heard in awhile. Mark Cohen's voice. He walked in and looked at her shivering and crying and quickly grabbed a blanket, she brought it around her shoulders and picked her up. He placed her on the couch and looked at her. She was still shivering like mad. He stood up and got her some hot water.
"What did you do? Are you using again?"
"No – no… I was o-out in t-t-the rain." She stuttered and shook her wet hair. He ran over to the bathtub and started the hot water. The bathtub was filled and he picked her up, she dropped the blanket on the floor, and placed her into the hot water. She smiled grateful for such a great friend and he walked away – going to make her something hot to drink. He shook his head; he should have known that Mimi couldn't take care of herself.
"Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash."
-:-
(Present Day)
July 3rd 1990
5:56pm E.S.T.
She sat on April's bed and was talking very quietly as she slept. Angel sat in the chair making something and then handed Mimi the bottle of nail-polish. Mimi shook it and started to paint April's nails. April slightly opened her eyes.
"Hey guys."
"Hey April, go back to sleep, we're just doing a couple of touch-ups." April laughed and then coughed for a minute. April closed her eyes, totally relaxed and glad that she had Mimi back with her.
"How long do you think she has left?" Mimi questioned and Angel shrugged as she held up the dress that she was working on for April.
"A couple of months… Do you know if Roger is coming today?" Mimi flinched as Angel said that. Angel shook her head. "I mean – do you know if Mark is coming today?"
"I don't know, the last time I talked to him was maybe a month ago." Mimi said and shook her head. Even though she lived downstairs from him – she had moved back into the loft with Angel and Collins – she hadn't talked to Roger or Mark.
"Well – I guess we have nothing to do, but sit here and wait for April to wake up again." Angel sighed and continued to work on the dress.
"I'm going to miss her." Mimi said absently and ran her hand gently down April's arm. She shook her head and then went back to painting her nails.
"The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you."
-:-
(Present Day)
August 19th 1990
12:00am E.S.T.
Mimi was seated at a chair in front of a mirror and applying her make-up for her show. Angel was with April in the hospital still and said she wasn't going to make it today. She grabbed the pale lip-stick and rolled it over her lips as Benny walked in. She had tears rolling down her cheek as she remembered that Roger had come to her like this one time at her show. She had never even told him that she loved him.
"Hey." Benny said and placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn't say anything as she grabbed his hand and placed it against her as she looked towards the ground, she didn't know what to do anymore. April was dying and Roger was gone, what was there left to live for?
"The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you."
-:-
(Present Day)
October 31st 1990
9:00am E.S.T.
Angel was greeted by the sounds of the door being unlocked. She shot up in bed and moved out of Collins arms. She walked out to the main room and found Mimi sleeping on the pull-out bed and Roger sitting next to her. He had unlocked the door – somehow – and was now sitting next to her.
"What are you doing here?"
"I just came to see her…"
"Roger – you don't belong here. You should be with April."
"I missed her."
"It's not your place anymore – you're with April remember?" Angel felt horrible telling him to leave, but it was what he deserved. He nodded as he ran his fingers gently around her face and then down her arm and clasping her hand in his own. Angel walked over to Roger and took his hand off of Mimi.
"You don't belong here." She repeated and helped Roger up. "You left her after she tried to explain – there's nothing you can do anymore." She pushed him to the door and closed it behind him. He leaned against the closed door and shook his head.
Angel was right, it wasn't his place to be here – he didn't love Mimi anymore, right?
"The world revives…"
"Colors renew!"
"But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue…"
"Within me blue."
-:-
(Present Day)
November 21st 1990
4:34pm E.S.T.
Mimi sighed and brushed some of April's hair out of her face as she gently eased some food into April's mouth. Her body was failing and it wasn't likely that she would live another four months as predicted. Angel sat by the bed and held April's hand. Roger was standing at the end of the bed. He stared at April who smiled back at him.
"Roger… I'm sorry you have to see me like this."
"Don't worry about it babe." He said and moved closed to her. Mimi smiled sadly and placed some more food into her mouth.
"You have to eat." She said interrupting their little moment. "I have to go soon – to work, but I'll be back, I promise April." She said and she moved away from the bed, giving the food to Angel. She watched as Roger leaned forward and kissed April. She sighed and walked away, grabbing her purse and everything and then rushing out the door.
She felt tears forming in her eyes, she still wasn't over Roger and she never would be.
"Without you… Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats."
-:-
(Present Day)
December 1st 1990
Sure, she thought that living without Roger – the only one she would ever love – would be hard, but she didn't think it would be this hard. Everyday when she went out with Angel or went to visit April, she thought about how life would have been if she hadn't gone to meet up with Benny, they would have been perfect… Except that she wouldn't have Angel. She sighed and looked around; December was always the slowest month of the year. She hated it more then anything.
"Hey Meems." Mark quickly walked up to Mimi and sat down on the bench. She was in the park and was sipping her coffee. "How's April?"
"Good, why haven't you been to see her?"
"Its way too depressing – I don't know if I can face it."
"Why?" Mimi questioned and Mark looked at the ground. She offered him the coffee, but he shook his head.
"Because I was in love with April." He said sheepishly and then took out his camera. "I'm going to film-"
"You loved April?"
"It was a long time ago, when Roger was still dating her – way before Maureen and everything…"
"You loved her." Mimi stated and sat there in shock.
"Okay – I told you my deepest secret, can I go?" Mark questioned and Mimi nodded.
"Of course." Mimi sipped at her coffee again as she saw Roger past the park – he was looking for Mark. She turned away and looked at the sky promising herself that this time, the tears would not come.
"Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walks, the lungs breathe."
-:-
(Present Day)
December 10th 1990
2:55pm E.S.T.
"How long does she have Doctor?" Dr. Shay sighed and brushed hair out of her face. Mimi stared at her and let some tears run down her face.
"A couple of days – not too long… I'm so sorry Miss Marquez." Mimi smiled as Dr. Shay moved away from the young girl. She turned around and stood in the doorway of the room. She shrugged as Angel sent her questioning glances.
"A couple of days." April smiled weakly as Mimi walked over. "I'm so sorry April."
"Its okay – I've lived past my time… You know what I mean." April's voice was weaker then ever as she lay there – helpless. Angel stroked her hand gently and sighed. Mimi sat down in the chair that was on the opposite side of Angel.
"I know this isn't how you wanted to go April."
"No, it's not, but you can't always get what you want." April laughed and then lodged into one of her coughing attacks. "Is Roger coming?"
"I'm afraid that he won't be in today, but he's coming later."
"Later… What if there's not later?" April asked Angel and she shrugged.
"Then – I don't know." April smiled and gripped the two girls' hands.
"I love you guys, so much."
"The mind churns!"
"The mind churns!"
"The heart yearns!"
"The heart yearns!"
-:-
(Present Day)
December 12th 1990
8:37pm E.S.T.
Roger sat by April's bed – everybody else had left, including Mimi. Mimi had insisted on saying, but April knew that she needed her rest. She told her that she would still be here tomorrow and that Mimi should go home and sleep. Angel had to practically drag her away. Roger sighed and remembered those good weeks that they had together – he had given them away, to be stuck here.
"Roger?" He snapped up at the sound of her voice.
"What is it April?" Roger questioned and she smiled.
"Say it again."
"Say what again?"
"My name, say it again." She said as her smile disappeared from her face.
"April."
"I knew it." She said after a little while. He looked at her debating whether or not to ask her what she meant. She answered for him. "You don't really love me the way you love her."
"Her?"
"Mimi."
"April, I don't love her-"
"You love her, Roger stop it… You love her; you were only with me because you wanted to get back at her for hurting you."
"April I-"
"Please… Do me a favor, one last thing before I go…"
"What?"
"Go to Mimi and tell her, she deserves it so much now."
"What…?"
"You love her Roger, please – tell her that." He smiled slightly at April and he could feel tears coming on – he loved April – but not as much as he loved Mimi. The girl that had stole his heart forever.
"I will always love you though."
"I know." Roger replied and leaned forward, kissing April's forehead. "Don't worry April, I will never forget you." He got up and walked out of the room just as April sighed. She turned in her bed and prayed that she had done what was right before crying herself to sleep.
"The tears dry, without you. Life goes on, but I'm gone. 'Cause I die, without you."
-:-
(Present Day)
December 19th 1990
7:00am
"April – honey wake up." Angel cried out as she shook her friends shoulders. She wasn't moving. Mimi backed up in the corner, tears falling down her face. Angel reached out and touched her cold lips and cheeks. She was freezing and gone.
"April… APRIL!" Angel sunk down against the wall as she let go of April's hand. Roger, Mark, Collins, Maureen, and Joanne weren't even here. Mimi looked at April and sighed – the last time she had seen April alive was last night when she came to visit. Mimi buried her head in her knees and started to cry.
"Angel – what do we do now?" Mimi questioned and Angel shrugged.
"Press the button."
"What button?" Mimi sniffled and looked above her head. It was the button that you press to get the nurse. "One second." She said and moved closer to the bed. She leaned forward and kissed April's cheek.
"I will always remember you." She whispered before turning around and pressing the button, she closed her eyes and leaned against the wall as tears escaped her eyes.
April was gone.
"Without you."
-:-
(Present Day)
December 25th 1990
3:23pm E.S.T.
"I am so sorry." Mimi said as she approached Roger. She hadn't talked to him in a long time. Roger backed away and turned away from her. He didn't say anything – she bit her lip in an attempt not to cry again. She walked away from him and went to Angel and Collins. She wrapped her arms around her best friends' waist and cried softly.
"We all miss her, you know that Meems."
"I guess… But I didn't think I would miss her this much…"
"I know…" Angel said soothingly, "I know how it feels honey."
"Without you."
"Without you."
End of Without You