Behind the Glass
Small World
Fuu didn't have to wait too long for Mugen to take a bath. It worried her too because there is no way that man, filthy as he was, could get clean as fast as he did.
Mugen walked right over to Fuu's scrunched up face and asked, "Are you ok?"
She breathed in, and realized that she was; Mugen smelled like soap.
"I'm fine! How are you?" She covered up, but Mugen didn't notice.
"Alright, I guess. Where to?"
Standing near the door to their room, Fuu looked around and wondered where they could go in this old and quiet town. No ideas came to mind, so Fuu said, "Let's just walk around for a while."
With a nod from Mugen, they went.
They went and kept on going for some time in silence. The silence, although it wasn't awkward, was different from when they normally don't speak. They weren't mad at each other or at a loss for words. They were just walking side by side along the cracked stone road, looking at ponds and trees and dirty buildings and new buildings and woman walking by them laughing and men fishing and grass and sky and many other insignificant things that made them happy. And they were, for the first time in a while, happy.
Mugen especially was feeling better than he normally did. But his past was back on his mind once he realized how good he was feeling. He definitely didn't want to go back down that road at a time like this, when everything seemed so perfect.
It could always be like this, he thought. I could be happy and stay happy once I get it all off my chest. Don't hate me, Fuu...
He cleared his throat and gave the tiniest smile once he had Fuu's attention.
"Ready to talk yet?" She asked. He wondered if women really did know everything. He nodded. "So Mugen, what do you think the nightmares mean?"
Mugen looked to the dusty street made of dirt and walked on. "The nightmares mean... that I should be punished. They're natures little way of giving me a taste of what I deserve." He didn't look up, not even when he noticed that Fuu didn't flinch. She wasn't surprised at all by what he said. Had she suspected him all along of being as bad of a person as he was?
"Mugen?" He looked up then. Her voice was soaked with worry, but her eyes were calm. "Mugen, what did you do?"
He sighed and slapped his hands against his legs. He looked at anything and everything but those calm eyes. Please don't hate me.
"One night, I was drunk. I saw a man and a woman walking down the road. I thought she was you." He backed away from her so he could look at her, although it hurt. I deserve it.
"Fuu, I thought I killed you."
Her mouth opened, then closed again. Her eyes couldn't decide what to focus on. She didn't know what to say to that, so she fell to the ground and looked up at him.
He has tears in his eyes? That's not like him, she thought.
"You killed a girl? Someone who looked like me?"
"She didn't look like you when I was sober..." He kicked a rock away from him. It smacked into a tree.
"What did she look like?"
"Fuu," he whispered, looking at her feet. "You're missing the point--"
"WHAT did she look like?"
"What do you want from me? A full description? She was pale, and red and beautiful, except for her face because it wasn't yours!"
"Mugen--"
And he fell. On his knees with blurred eyes, he grabbed her hand. He was shaking, so she thought. It might have been her own hand.
"Fuu! I'm fucked up... I beat a girl to death because I thought it was the person I loved. WHO DOES THAT?"
"I... don't know." She pulled her hand away. She wiped her own tears. She stood and said, "What did you do to the man?"
"I... nothing. He ran."
"What did he look like?"
"I don't know. A pretty boy. I remember hating him for that."
"And where did this happen?"
Mugen's gaze was to the ground. He wondered why, out of all the things she should be wanting to know, these were the questions she was asking.
Meeting her gaze, Mugen found no more acceptance in there, and her eyes broke his heart.
"I'm sorry..."
"Damn it, Mugen! Just answer me!" she demanded, breathing deeply in and out.
"All the way to the west coast from this town. I don't know what it was called. Why does it matter where--"
"You know! You're really not in the best position to be demanding information right now. In fact, maybe you shouldn't even talk at all!"
Standing up and looking straight into her death glare, he said, "Then why the hell did you make me?"
"Because! I'm supposed to be here for you. But this--" She waved her hands up sharply and Mugen took that to mean what he had done.
"Don't you want to know why?" he asked a little more calmly now. The eye of the storm, perhaps?
"I've got bigger problems now," Fuu breathed through clenched teeth.
"Bigger than this? I find that hard to believe."
"Oh I know you do. But I'm going to tell you this now. I want you to stay the hell away from me. Stay the fuck away from me." Backing away from Mugen's strained face, she whispered. "Oh, and the name of the girl you killed was Yamada Kasuga. Kaishi's first wife. And you, Mugen, are the reason my fiance is dead."
To be continued...
Oh no, what the hell is going on? And you thought things were going so smoothly between them too. :p