Summary: Rating lowered so everyone can enjoy the silly actions of John Munch! This chapter will go beyond Viagra, sleeping pills, and Shakira altogether. And beware of Conviction Crossovers... Bwahahahaha!
Disclaimers: I do not own SVU or Conviction Characters (which would most likely appear in the next chapter but I'd might as well say it now), so I better not find a lawsuit in the mail. But I do own Nikki Blaine.
A/N: Well, I put this story as complete because I wanted to combine the sequel to this story and the sequel to 242's into one whole story, Warehouse Whereabouts, but it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. So I decided to revive Younger than Ever, better than ever, guaranteed to be as silly and exciting as its previous chapters!
Plus, there have been new stories popping up that have similar elements (cough drug-powdered donutscough, But I don't have anything against that, I think that's a brilliant idea)) to this story which has encouraged me to bring back the Loveable Munch!
Oh yea, and my summary probably didn't make sense, but what makes sense in the world these days?
In case you forgot where I left off ('cause I sort of forgot too), Fin was giving Munch an explanation of what was in his coffee, and Olivia finds out that Elliot drank the coffee meant for Nikki, and now Elliot's sleeping.
But anyways, now, presenting, Chapter 4 of Younger than Ever!
"...and that's how the Viagra got into your coffee," Fin resolved, "Did I finally get it through your thick head? Or do I have to explain it to you once again?" He walked over to his desk and threw the pen he was holding on top of a pile of paperwork.
Munch gave a big long sigh and folded his arms on his desk. "I do not act that way when I'm on Viagra," he replied in a matter-of-fact manner.
Fin raised his eyebrows. "Oh, so I take it that you've tried Viagra before, John?"
"No," Munch replied with a hint of falsity in his voice, "I did not say that. I said that I don't act that way if I take Viagra."
"Well you just gave yourself away, man," Fin countered, "You said that you don't act that way when you're on Viagra. When you put it that way, you're assuming that you've taken Viagra before."
Munch was surprised at Fin's comment. "Since when were you able to get back at me like that?"
Fin looked up at Munch from his desk. "I guess your witty mind is starting to rub off on me."
The witty duo turned their attention to Casey and Olivia, who were both having a great time watching Elliot dozing on his desk top.
"Gosh, Elliot sounds like he's sawing a log," Olivia laughed, commenting on her partner's snoring.
"And he drools," Casey pointed at the string of saliva dripping out of Elliot's mouth with a disgusted look on her face.
Munch shook his head as Elliot tossed and turned his head in his sleep, trying to look for a comfortable spot on his desk. "Olivia, how many sleeping pills did you put in his coffee?"
Olivia paused before replying. "5... Maybe 6."
Munch glared at her.
"What?" Olivia said, thinking she did nothing wrong. "The coffee was supposed to be for Nikki, you know!"
"Believe me, you can feed Nikki a whole bottle of sleeping pills and she wouldn't be any different," Casey joked as she crossed her legs. She had been sitting with the detectives ever since Elliot's and Nikki's big huge argument.
"You guys better put Elliot in the crib before the Captain comes back," Fin warned, "He doesn't like his workers literally sleeping on the job."
"I could bring him up," Munch offered his help.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Fin said, concerned that his partner might throw his back out.
Munch stood up pompously. "How else can I prove myself to be 'younger than ever'?"
"Drink more Viagra and see what happens," Fin joked.
Munch scoffed at Fin and walked over to Elliot, whose head was about to slip off his desk. He quickly grabbed Elliot, but they both ended up falling down onto the floor anyways. "Ow," Munch muttered as he struggled to move the still-dozing detective off of him.
"Did you break your back, old man?" Fin grinned from ear to ear as he helped his partner up.
"I think you should leave this job to us strong women," Olivia said, referring to Casey and herself. They both grabbed each of Elliot's arms and dragged him away. Fin and Munch were amazed at the strength of their female co-workers.
AT THE CRIB
Olivia let out a big sigh as she and Casey dropped Elliot onto one of the bunk beds. "Jeez, he may not look so heavy," Olivia said in between her deep breaths, "But looks can be deceiving!"
Casey plopped onto a sleeping cot and rubbed her face. "What do we do now, Liv?"
Olivia shrugged. "Well, we have absolutely nothing to do today." She sat on a cot that was right next to Casey's.
"Remember the time Elliot put whipped cream on you the last time you slept here?" Casey asked, staring at Elliot.
"Oh yes," Olivia said grimly, remembering how hard it was getting the cream out of her hair and shirt.
There was a long pause. Casey looked at Olivia with a devilish grin. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Payback time!" Olivia quietly exclaimed as she got up. "Where's the permanent marker?"
MOMENTS LATER
"Hurry, before he wakes up," Olivia whispered to Casey as they both scurried down the stairs. They tried to hide their elation in the presence of their colleagues but they ended up laughing anyways. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, however, they found Munch staggering over from the coffee machine to his desk.
"I'm lovin this," Munch slurred. He raised his mug and let the coffee leak into his open mouth.
Fin's eyes widened when he realized what his partner might be drinking. "John, spit that coffee out right NOW." He hurried over to Munch and snatched his drink away from him.
Consequently, Munch followed Fin and shoved his shoulder. "Hey man, give me my, uh, give me my stuff back," he said, reaching for his mug.
Fin did not listen to him. Instead, he poured the tainted coffee down the drain as his whimpering partner looked on. "Nikki must have left some more of her 'sexy coffee' on your desk. That stupid ass ditz."
"NOOOOOO!" Munch fell to his knees and started sobbing hysterically, acting as if he had just lost something valuable.
Casey walked over to Munch, perplexed as to why he was acting that way. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, shaking the disoriented detective.
Munch sniffled as he looked into Casey's eyes. Then, all of a sudden, he held her face and planted a wet sloppy kiss on her lips.
"Oh... my... fuckin god," Olivia uttered in deep surprise.
Casey managed to get out of Munch's grasp and pushed him away.
"Are you okay?" Olivia asked as she went over to comfort Casey.
"I'm okay," the ADA replied, wiping Munch's saliva off of the sides of her mouth, "Except for the fact that I'll have to live with this horrid memory for the rest of my life." She sat down and sighed.
"John, snap out of it!" Fin shouted, snapping his fingers in front of Munch's eyes.
"I want my coffee back," Munch whined.
Out of nowhere, Olivia grabbed a bucket full of water and doused Munch in an effort to bring him back.
Munch shuddered as the cold water was thrown on him. Fin, Casey, and Olivia remained standing in front of him, hoping to get good results.
A couple of moments passed, and Munch started coming back to normal. "You know, the government secretly taxes us for using their water excessively," he informed them.
Everyone sighed in relief and acted as if nothing happened.
Meanwhile...
Elliot walked down the stairs from his long nap while Fin, Olivia, Munch, and Casey were having a conversation that was going nowhere.
"Hey you guys," Elliot yawned, stretching out his arms.
Munch spit out the water he was drinking and started laughing. Fin just shook his head pitifully.
Elliot was deeply confused to why they were acting that way. "What's wrong?"
"You look like one of those toy faces with magnetic fillings for hair, you know what I mean?" Fin said humorously.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Elliot exclaimed, having no clue as to what was going on. He caught his reflection from the mirror that Olivia was conveniently holding and his jaws dropped. There were two black circles drawn around each of his eyes along with a mustache and a goatee. "Damn it to hell, who drew on my face!"
"Munch offered to carry you to the crib," Fin said nonchalantly.
Elliot shot his eyes at Munch.
"Don't look at me," Munch replied, "You almost broke my back when you fell on top of me. Casey and Olivia were more than happy to take you upstairs."
Elliot glared at Olivia.
"Gotcha," Olivia smirked.
Elliot was really angry, yet he couldn't help but crack a smile at Olivia's priceless facial expression. He sat down at his desk and tried to rub the marks off his face.
"Sorry, detective, we used permanent marker," Casey said.
"Thanks a lot," Elliot grumbled.
"Hello detectives," Melinda Warner cheerfully greeted them as she entered the squad room. "Nice mustache, Detective Stabler." Elliot growled in reply.
"What's with the cheery attitude?" Munch inquired.
The M.E. shrugged. "What's wrong with being happy? But anyways, I have some news about the substance in Munch's coffee."
"We already know that Nikki Blaine planted the Viagra in there," Olivia replied.
Melinda had a small smile on her face. "Actually, it wasn't Viagra. I just said that to see what kind of reactions I'd get. I mean, who carries 'portable chemical identifiers' anyways?"
Elliot, Fin, and Munch groaned.
"I lost my girlfriend because of you," Elliot cried.
"I lost a $500 bet on why Munch was dancing because of you," Fin whined.
"I lost my dignity because of you," Munch exclaimed sadly.
Warner put her hands on her hips. "Blame it on the M.E., huh? Elliot, Nikki was too dumb for you. Fin, that's what you get for betting on Munch's mishaps. And Munch, whether you had Viagra or not, you still lost your dignity!"
The 3 male detectives pouted.
"But Nikki confessed to putting Viagra into the coffee," Olivia argued.
Melinda laughed. "You really think she's smart enough to do that? She was just taking advantage of the whole situation."
"How do you know that much about what Nikki did?" Casey asked suspiciously, "You weren't there when we were arguing with her that day."
The M.E. hesitated. "Well...word gets around, you know... But anyways... Munch, you were on crack."
Munch groaned. "This is all a c--"
"Don't you dare say that 10 letter word that begins with a C and end with a Y," Fin snapped before Munch could finish.
"Now if I were you, I'd either arrest Nikki for drug possession or see where she got it from. See you guys later," Warner waved goodbye and left.
"Well, that explains why Munch had that weird outburst today," Fin concluded.
"What outburst?" Elliot didn't know what they were talking about since he was sleeping through the whole incident.
"You don't want to know," Casey and Olivia replied simultaneously.
A/N: Well, maybe this chapter wasn't as extremely insane as the other chapters, but I hoped you enjoyed it! Hopefully you guys are still reading this even though I haven't updated it in months. And to make sure you guys are satisfied so far, I need 7 more reviews to see how my story's turning out, and then I'll put up the next chapter. Thanks for those who already did R&R!