Summary: Barbara tries to get on with her life two years after Dick's departure. Things had gotten pretty ugly, but she seems to have gotten things in perspective and made some important changes in her life. But something happens to Barbara one night on patrol, bringing the Bat Clan closer together.
Chapter 1: Moving On
I woke up in bed, sweating. I glanced at my alarm clock. It was 3:20 in the morning. Wiping the sweat of my forehead, I grabbed a glass of water from my nightstand. I took a sip before setting it down again.
- God, it's been almost two years. Almost two years and I'm still having nightmares about it. I have to move on and stop living in the past. He's not coming back -
I threw off the covers, got out of bed, and walked to the bathroom. I flipped on the light and bent over the sink. I washed my face with cold water, and then looked at myself in the mirror. My auburn hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. My once bright and lively emerald eyes were now dull and full of sorrow. I was definitely paler than I had been two years ago. I was thinner too, although much more muscular.
- You need to move on. If you don't, you're going to miss out on life. You can't keep on punishing yourself. It wasn't your fault. He was the one that ran away. Just get on with your life and enjoy it -
What a laugh. Move on? How was I supposed to do that? Two years ago I lost everything. All I had left now was Batgirl and my sorry excuse of a life. I had trained harder than ever after Dick left, perfecting every aspect of my skills. I had begged Bruce to take me as a pupil and sidekick. I watched him all the time, watching his every move. Hoping some of it would rub off.
I had immersed myself into my role as Batgirl. It had become more of an obsession than a passion. Not that I didn't have passion for it. I could not have more passion for Batgirl than I had. The obsession came from how much Batgirl had consumed my other life; the life that was supposed to be normal. I used my job at GCPD as a way to get more information on cases I had as Batgirl. I can't even remember how many times I had taken classified evidence from headquarters to analyze at the Batcave or how many times I had hacked into classified files on the GCPD database looking for leads.
But I would have done those things anyways. What really made it an obsession was that every waking hour I had away from work was spent either at the cave or out in costume patrolling. Sometimes I had gone for days without sleeping and hardly eating. My father had begun to worry because lets face it; I had not looked my best those days. He knew I was going through some sort of breakdown, but I never let him talk too much about it with me. Changing subjects became a talent to me.
With Bruce it was harder to dodge the questions because, well, it was Bruce. When Bruce wanted to know something, he found it out. So I began to avoid him out of costume. And we were distant with each other as Batman and Batgirl too. One thing we never talked about was Dick. The reason for that was easy. Neither one of us wanted to talk about it. We just didn't want to be reminded of the fact that he was gone.
I went downhill from there, if you think that was possible, until Bruce finally confronted me. He told me that I could not go out on patrol until I had slept for at least 24 hours and had eaten a good meal. From there on he laid down some new ground rules. He gave me a limit to my hours at the cave and on patrol. He forbade me to use my GCPD time to work on Bat related cases. Only in emergency cases was that allowed. He started taking me to some of his social events so I would get out of the house. He set me up on several blind dates with the sons of his socialite friends. Believe it or not, things got better.
The reason it had gotten so bad was that I had blamed myself for Dick leaving. I mean how do you forget someone that you still love? Someone you can't forget, no matter how hard you try or how many people tell you to. And that the reason you can't forget them is because you don't want to. Because deep down you think that they still love you too. And you feed on that thought until it consumes your life. All you can think about is them. Every breathing moment is for them and it hurts so bad you can't stop crying.
I finally had realized that Dick had left because he wanted to. Regardless as to why, he had chosen to leave. He could have stayed, but he didn't. That had been his choice. My choice was to forget about him and move on with my life. When I couldn't do that, I buried all emotion and memory of Dick deep down inside and moved on with my life. And here I was now; still not fully recovered from my year of torturing myself both physically and emotionally.
And I was still moving on.
- - - - - -
Gotham Rooftops
I grinned broadly as I flew through the air. I let go of my jumpline, flipping gracefully through the air to land perfectly on the rooftop of the Clock Tower. It was my favorite building in the city. It had the best view, even if it wasn't the tallest. Crouching on the ledge of the roof, I began my nightly patrol. It was the same every night. I started out at the Clock Tower and made my way east towards downtown, then I would continue eastward to the docks, sweep south to cover the banking district, and then make a final sweep back north to the very center of the city.
Sometimes I wondered how Batman had allowed me to continue on as Batgirl. I hadn't been exactly following the rules since . . . well, for a while now. It had gotten even worse when Tim joined us. Just seeing him in the Robin suit reminded me of Dick. Watching how much Tim enjoyed crime fighting, his passion reminded me so very much of Dick. But I had learned to be able to look at Tim as his own person and not as a shadow of Dick. And I had gotten my act together both in and out of costume. Batgirl was no longer a justice hungry vigilante willing to do anything for vengeance. Now I was able to draw the line and control myself. Batgirl was now a fair judge of the criminals she apprehended. I no longer set out on manhunts and just stopped the bad guys from doing bad things.
"Batgirl, we better get to the docks if we are going to stop that drug deal going down tonight", said Robin impatiently.
"Take it easy there, Bird-Boy, we got plenty of time", I answered in an amused voice.
Tim had only been with us for a few months, but he and I had grown very close. You could say that I had come to love him as my little brother, and that he looked up to me as a role model. The past few weeks had also brought Bruce, Tim, Alfred, and I closer as well. Looking after Tim and making sure he was brought up properly had turned us into a family of sorts. Perhaps it was not the most conventional one, but it suited us just fine.
I grinned as I watched Tim shift impatiently. I had to admit, his enthusiasm was really admirable. Although at times, he could get a bit annoying. But he was just a kid and was new at this, so I usually let it slide.
"All right, let's get down to the docks, it's almost midnight", I said.
Tim's face lit up as he reached for his grappling hook. He was off the roof before I had even started to reach for a grapple. I chuckled at the retreating form of Robin and jumped off the roof after him.
- - - - - -
The Docks
"Watch out!" I shouted.
Robin flipped away just in time to dodge a shower of bullets. He landed behind some wooden crates and ducked down to dodge yet another shower of bullets. He peeked through the cracks to see two of the drug dealers holding machine guns. He needed to get those guns away from them.
I ducked down to dodge a kick. I crouched down onto the ground and turned around swiftly, kicking a thug's feet out from under him. I barely had time to catch my breath before another guy came at me. I kicked him in the gut and then uppercut him under the chin.
Batman had just arrived and was already fighting the drug lord right beside me. Somehow, the guy had managed to twist one of Batman's arms behind his back with one hand. His free arm snaked its way around Batman's throat. It was obviously difficult for Batman to breathe, but he remained calm. I knew he could handle the situation perfectly fine and decided to go help Robin. I turned around to find an empty dock. I began searching for Robin.
"Robin? Where are you?" I called out frantically.
I heard bullets being fired from the other side of a large pile of crates. Fearing the worst, I scaled the crates at lighting speed and jumped down to the ground on the other side. At my feet lay two unconscious men with their machine guns lying on the ground beside them. I looked up to face a beaming Robin.
"Are you all right?" I asked.
Robin looked outraged, "I just took out two thugs with machine guns and all you have to say is 'are you all right'? Not even a 'good job, Robin'?"
"Sorry Kido, I'm just glad you're okay", I said gently.
Robin smiled gratefully at me, but his smile faded when he saw a man come up behind with a gun in his hand. Reading his face, I slowly turned around to face the man. I held up my hands to show him that I was unarmed, but he responded instead by slowly cocking his gun.
I swallowed hard and said in a soothing voice, "The Police are already on their way and Batman is just on the other side of those crates, so I don't think that's a very good idea".
The man only grinned and fired the gun at me. Robin gasped as my body jerked back with the force of the bullet. A horrified look came over his face as I fell to the ground and did not move.
"Nooooo!" Robin screamed.
Robin ran to my side and fell onto his knees beside me. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up towards his face. He shook me gently at first, then harder. I responded by coughing uncontrollably. My breaths were coming in short gasps and Robin almost cried when he saw the puddle of blood forming underneath me on the ground.
I felt so tired. All I wanted to do was to sleep. Maybe then, the burning pain would go away. But, I couldn't sleep yet. I had to keep Robin safe. And that man was standing only a few feet away, gun still at hand. I gathered all the strength left in me and raised my hand to grab Robin's arm.
I took in deep breath, "Look out . . . gun"; I managed to say.
Robin looked up to see the man still pointing the gun at us. He crouched over me protectively and glared at the man. He stood up tall with his fists clenched. He looked back at the man with narrowed eyes.
"You'll pay for that", he said in an icy voice.
The man laughed, "Boy, who has the gun?" he asked as he raised the gun and cocked it.
Robin fell back into a fighting stance, waiting for the man to make his move. He had never been so scared in his life, but he had to keep Barbara safe, no matter what. The man had started to pull the trigger, when a shadow came out of the darkness and knocked him over. Moments later, the man lay unconscious against a crate.
Batman towered over the limp figure of the man for a second before moving swiftly to my side. He knelt beside me and checked me over quickly. He had a very worried look on his face that Robin did not like one bit. Suddenly, I went into another fit of coughing. A line of blood trickled from the corner of my mouth.
I took in a deep, wheezing breath, "How bad is it?" I asked Batman.
Batman remained silent. He glanced at Robin, signaling him to radio Leslie. Robin took out his communicator and flipped to Leslie's channel. Meanwhile, Batman picked me up gently and began carrying me as quickly as possible to the Batmobile.
"Leslie here" said a kind voice.
Robin ran to catch up to Batman, who was moving at a very fast pace, considering that he was carrying Batgirl.
"Leslie, this is Robin. We have an emergency. Batgirl's been shot".
A long pause passed, "How bad is she hurt?" Leslie asked in a very worried voice.
Robin made his way into the alley where the Batmobile was parked.
Robin held back the tears, "She's hurt pretty bad. I'm not sure really, but it looks bad", he said in a voice threatening to break down.
"Put Bruce on", commanded Leslie.
Robin walked over to Batman and held out the communicator to him.
"Leslie wants to speak with you", Robin said flatly.
Batman finished placing me into the passenger seat of the Batmobile and took the communicator. He took off his cape, handed it to Robin, and pointed at Batgirl.
"Keep her warm and don't let her fall asleep", he ordered.
Robin nodded silently before climbing into the car and sitting next to me. He arranged Batman's cape over my shoulders and started talking to me quietly.
"Don't you worry, you'll pull through this. You're strong and you're a fighter, so I just know you'll get through this", Robin whispered to me as he squeezed my hand.
I gave him a very small, weak smile, "I . . . I want you to know that . . . I am so proud of you", I said quietly, holding back a groan.
"Don't talk like that Babs. You're going to make it", he replied in a shaky voice.
We had been so deep into our conversation that we had hardly noticed that Batman had gotten into the Batmobile and started the engine. We remained silent as Batman raced through narrow alleys and took every shortcut he knew in the city. Soon, we were pulling up into Leslie's clinic. Batman screeched to a stop at the back entrance, opened the top, and jumped out. He scooped me up and hurried into the building. Robin followed closely after locking the car.
- - - - - -
A Few Hours Later
"The operation went well. I was able to extract the bullet easily. Barbara only suffered some minor damage to one of her lungs, but she lost a lot of blood, so she will have to take it easy for a while. And no more crime fighting for at least a few months, I won't have her risk reopening that wound. Is that clear Bruce? I am holding you responsible if anything happens to that girl", Leslie said.
"I understand Leslie. I'll put Alfred in charge of her. She can stay in one of the rooms at the Manor until she recovers completely", Bruce replied.
Leslie nodded approvingly, "You and Tim can see her now".
Bruce stood up and ran a hand through his hair. He was still in his Batman costume, but he had removed his cowl, which now hung from behind his neck. Tim was still in costume as well, with his own mask removed. He sat up fast when he heard Leslie say that they could finally see Barbara.
Bruce looked at Tim and motioned him to follow. They made their way down the hall to room number four. Bruce opened the door slowly and poked his head in. After a moment's pause, Bruce slid into the room, closely followed by Tim.
I was lying propped up on the bed by three pillows. There was an oxygen tube under my nose and an IV in my right arm. My hair lay around my face all matted and dirty. I was definitely not looking my best. I smiled weakly at my two visitors. Tim ran up to me and gave me a gentle hug. Bruce walked up to the bed and took one of my hands.
"I'm so glad you're okay, Babs", Tim said to me.
I placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to hug him, "So am I, Kido, so am I".
I turned to Bruce, who sat silently next to my bed. I squeezed his hand and motioned him to join in the hug. Bruce reluctantly bent down, only to be wrapped by two pairs of arms.
I was radiant, "I'm so glad I've got you two".
Tim grinned, "Does this mean I can call you Sis now?"
I laughed, "I think you should stick with Babs".
"Really? It just sort of slipped out tonight".
"Don't worry, it will be just be between you and me, Kido", I said, ignoring the look Bruce was giving me.
"Thanks Babs", said Tim, hugging me tighter.
"Hey, watch it!" I joked.
We both burst out laughing. Outside, Leslie watched happily. She was glad that Bruce had finally found a family of his own. She hoped this would help him open his heart to let others in. He really needed this.
- - - - - -
TBC . . .
Wondering how things will change in the Bat Clan after this? If you are, the next chapter will satisfy your curiosity. Please Read and Review! Your opinions really matter to me and keep this fic going!
- Lady Artemis -