Summary: Babs and Dick have a serious conversation about their "relationship". Old heartbreaks resurface and they finally talk about what really happened that night. They also talk about where they will go from here . . .

Chapter 3: The Way it was and the Way it is

I was about to answer him, when I noticed blood coming from his left arm.

"You're hurt", I said, taking his arm in my hand to look at the wound.

He winced, "I'll be fine".

I squinted my eyes as I examined it more closely, "This needs stitches. Damn, I didn't bring my kit. I'm going to take you to the cave".

Nightwing didn't seem to like the idea, "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think you and Bruce should cross each other yet. Isn't there somewhere else we could go?"

Great. The last place I wanted to take him was my apartment, but there seemed to be no other choice. He needed those stitched tonight.

"Okay, let's go to my place. I got a first aid kit there".

Nightwing smiled, "Okay".

He ran towards the edge of the roof and stopped inches from it. I ran up beside him.

"You're pretty agile for someone who's wounded" I teased.

"You know me", he said with a wink.

"Yes, I do", I mumbled.

I dove off the roof first, my cape whipping out behind. Almost immediately, my eyes began to sting from all the air that was rushing at my face. I closed them while I pushed a small button on my belt. Night vision lenses snapped down over my eyes. I opened them to see that Nightwing was already below me.

I moved my body into a streamlined position, arms to my sides and legs held together tightly. I fell faster now, catching up with Nightwing. The ground was getting unnervingly close. My heart pounded in my ears. I loved every moment of it.

I held my breath as I waited for the right moment. I passed Nightwing and saw the surprised look on his face. In a split second, I had a grapple out and was firing it. It anchored and the line soon tightened. My face showed complete concentration as the muscles in my arms flexed under my weight. I came to a halt about 10 feet from the street.

I eyed a balcony that was level with me. Swinging my legs back and forth, I gave myself enough momentum to jump onto the balcony. When I was at the highest point of the swing, I let go of the jump line, executed a graceful flip and landed softly on both feet. I raised my arms in the standard gymnastics landing position.

"Show off", muttered Nightwing as he landed beside me moments later.

I grinned to myself.

- - - - - -

Barbara's Apartment

"Oww" howled Dick.

Dick was sitting on the kitchen counter, his shirt removed. I was sitting on a stool in front of him. On the counter behind me were bottles, cotton balls, gauze, medical tape, and a stitching kit. All I had done was touch the wound to examine it once again.

I looked up at Dick, "Don't be such a baby!"

"But it hurts!" Dick whined.

I chuckled as I reached for the alcohol, "Well this is going to hurt a bit more".

Dick watched as I put alcohol on a cotton ball with wide eyes. Then I held his shoulder still and placed the cotton ball on it, cleaning the wound. Dick shut his eyes tight and hissed out in pain.

I rolled my eyes, "Oh please, grow up!"

Dick narrowed his eyes in disgust at me, "You're enjoying this way too much".

Eight stitches and a whole lot of whining on Dick's part later, I placed some gauze over the stitches and used medical tape to secure it.

"All done!" I announced with a triumphant smile.

Dick looked relieved, "About time", he muttered.

I chuckled, "Okay Boy Blunder, time for you to go whine at home".

Dick tipped his head to one side, "Boy Blunder? Wow, it's been ages since I've heard that".

Realizing what I had just done, I tensed up, "Just don't get used to it", I said in an icy tone that even I was surprised at.

Dick sighed, "Babs, will we ever be okay again? I mean, can't we even be friends? We do watch over the same city, you know", he said.

"I told you not to call me that".

"Why?"

"Because, DICK, maybe you can just forget everything that happened, but it's going to take me a while longer".

"Barbara . . ."

"Don't Dick. Look, maybe with time . . . maybe we can be friends, but it's just too hard right now".

"You still think I left because of you", he said sadly.

"Well what would you have me think? You left the moment you found about . . . THIS!" I yelled, pointing at my costume lying on the sofa.

Dick closed his eyes, "I know it looks like I left because of what I found out, but I never left because of you. The only reason I left was because of Batman. It wasn't even because of Bruce. It was always Batman", he explained.

I glared at him, "You expect me to believe that?" I interrogated.

"Listen to me! I am telling you, I didn't leave because of you! I loved you. LOVED YOU! I just . . . I had to go away Babs, I couldn't take it anymore!" he answered.

I looked at his face closely, "Then why didn't you even say good-bye? Why didn't you tell me something, ANYTHING! You could have told me you needed to go away, I would have understood".

Dick shook his head, "No, you wouldn't have understood. That's why I never went to you before I left. I knew you would try to make me stay. I knew you would want for Batman and I to work things out. I just had to leave. I needed space, needed to get out on my own".

I remained silent. So that's why he left. It wasn't because of me. I suddenly felt like a huge load had been lifted off my shoulders.

- Okay, so he didn't leave because of me. Now what? I mean we can't just take back the past two years. What he did to me was unforgivable. He can't expect me to forgive him that easily. I have a life, a boyfriend, and a job. I can't just drop it all because he decided to come back after all this time -

Dick noticed I wasn't going to answer, so he asked, "Do you know why I went to you at your apartment that night?"

My head popped up and my eyes gave him a questioning look. Did I want to know all this?

But he continued anyways, "We had faced up with the Joker and he had managed to get away. He slipped right through our fingers. Batman was furious. Well, I managed to see one of his goons fleeing the scene and Batman ordered me to follow him home. So I did. I followed him back to his apartment. I guess I was expecting the guy to be some bum that lived in a dump", he chuckled.

His gaze dropped to the floor as he went on, "But he wasn't. He went home to his WIFE and KID. I guess Batman had a tracer on me because before I knew it, he was breaking in and interrogating the guy in front of his FAMILY. Right there in the middle of his living room. He didn't care that his wife was right there crying and clutching her son. I told him that we should do this somewhere else, but he said no. I insisted that we do this later, so he shoved me against a wall and I fell to the floor", he stopped there.

My hands had gone to my mouth, but they dropped when he stopped.

He looked up at me, "I was so angry with him. I just knew I couldn't take it anymore. It was impossible for me to stay here. I'm just sorry you had to get hurt".

The tension in the air was very thick, so I decided to break it.

"Yeah well, I'll live. Bruce and Alfred say I'm a fighter" I forced a smile.

He seemed uncomfortable at the mention of Bruce. Did he still think Bruce and I . . . well I hadn't told him otherwise, so he probably did. Great.

"Look Dick. About Bruce and I . . . you have it all wrong".

"Do I?" he asked sarcastically.

He sighed, "You don't have to explain Babs. I get it . . ."

"No you don't!" I cut in.

"Huh . . ."

"Listen for once in your life! There is nothing going on between Bruce and I. It was all just a big misunderstanding. I never meant for it to get out of hand".

Dick was confused, "What about when you kissed him?"

I looked embarrassed, "I don't know why I did that. I suppose it was the first thing that came to mind at the moment".

We looked at each other for a moment. Those eyes still made me weak in the knees. And that smile weak in the heart. I shrugged it off.

He looked at me, his gaze penetrating my mask, "Look Babs, I know things can't ever be the same as they were. I wish they could. But, I know you felt like I betrayed you and that you are still hurting over that. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to get on with your life. I really would like another chance, in spite of all that".

My jaw dropped open. He wanted another chance. The thing I had been dreaming about for so long was finally happening! Whoa, wait a second. I had to think this through before making any decisions.

- Okay Babs, think. This is what you have wanted ever since the night he left your life. But, you had just moved on with your life. Everything is back on track again. I mean, what if he leaves again? You know he and Bruce will never truly get along. If his love for you wasn't enough for him to stay last time, I doubt it would be in the future. Do you really want to gamble with your emotions like that? I don't think you would be able to survive heartbreak again. Maybe you should just let things be as they are now. You have your life and he has his. Maybe in the future, maybe after you establish some sort of friendship first. I doubt he's the same person he was when he left. Perhaps in the future . . . but for now, leave things as they are. It's not worth losing everything you've worked for to get where you are now -

Dick shifted nervously. He was nervous? It worried him that I had not answered yet.

"Babs?" he asked.

I was brought out of my thoughts. I looked up at him, "You know, I've never loved anyone like I loved you. There were times when I thought I couldn't live without you. And then when I really did loose you, I was heartbroken, but I managed to survive. And that was something I never thought I would be able to do. I don't know if I will ever love anyone in that way again. What I do know is that I want to live and let things happen on their own. I don't want to hold out on life and then have everything come crashing down again. I don't think I could handle that again".

He seemed unsure, "What are you saying exactly?"

"What I am saying is that I don't think it would be a good idea for us to try and make things like they were. I like how things are now. I don't know what lies in the future, but I know that I can't go back to how things were".

Dick nodded understandingly, "You won't ever be able to forgive me, will you?" he asked.

I frowned at him, "Is that what you believe? Do you think that we would be having this conversation right now if I had not forgiven you? I had to forgive you to be able to continue with my life. People can't hold grudges forever".

He nodded again. Then he asked suddenly, "So what is going to happen between us?"

I was a little shocked by the question, but the answer came quickly, "I think tonight was a first step. Now that things are clear about the past, I think this could be the foundation for something new, not that I know what that is. All I know is that it's a start".

"I agree", he answered.

I smiled. I'm glad he understood. I didn't know what was going to happen between us. But I was just glad to have him around again. And I was glad to be able to talk to him. We always did understand each other well. I think things were going to be okay after all.

- - - - - -

TBC . . .

- Lady Artemis -