NATALIE POV:
"What would I change about my sexual history? Everything, but I mean that's the beauty of surviving suicide, anything's possible. The problems from your past become trivial, and your body talks to you in a whole new way." Natalie said to her camera. Saying the words brought back the painful memories to her sexual encounter just the night before she jumped.
1 Year Earlier:
Waking up groggily Natalie rolled over only to hit the unconscious form of Richard Thorne III. The memories from the night before slowly returning to her mind. Reaching over the bed she slowly found her clothes, putting them on and heading for the door. About the time that she reached the bedroom door the sleeping man woke up.
"Hey? Trying to sneak out on me?" Richard said sitting up, the sheet falling to his waist in the process.
"Well I thought you were passed out." She snapped moving back towards the bed. "So about last night?" she started only to be stopped by his hand to his mouth.
"Can we just not talk about this right now?" He said moving to grab his boxers from the bed.
"Rick, you were wasted!" Natalie said following him into the bathroom. "I mean I know that you like to drink but theirs a difference between drinking and drinking to forget."
"Look I didn't see you stopping me when we were out!" Richard turned the shower on letting the water warm up, while he went to the sink and began to brush his teeth, completely ignoring Natalie behind him.
"Fine. You don't want to talk about it? I won't make you." Natalie turned to leave only to stop and finish the sentence. "Are you coming to the party tonight?"
"I don't know." Richard said plainly. It was clear that he didn't want to fight with her. But talking wasn't going to fix the situation either. "I'll call you." He said as she slammed the door and left.
After Natalie's night she now had to take a test in economics that she wasn't nearly prepared for. Reaching her class, she quickly took it and knew it wouldn't be her best work. We'll at least she could drop that test. Thinking back to her night with Richard, it wasn't that the sex wasn't great. She knew that it was. They'd been having it since her first day on campus. Since Natalie started at Bedford. She was the lowly freshman who happened to meet the experienced sophomore Richard at a party thrown by one of his friends from the Bedford Bugle.
It hadn't been her first time, but she thought that she was in love. Only later did she find the falling in love with Richard was the last thing she should have been doing. She'd been told that Richard wasn't capable of falling in love. And she soon found that out. After the discussion of dating came, up and Richard slept with a girl her English class just to prove that he wasn't boyfriend material. But there were moments. Moment's when he would show up at her dorm room with flowers, or plan a romantic candle light dinner on the terrace of his apartment. Times when she felt the real Richard was coming through.
But then there was also the alcohol. Even before she met Richard he was a drinker. She didn't know what event had happened to cause the rash amount of drinking, he wouldn't talk about it. And so they fought. Just like they had the night before, Richard went and drank away his sorrows and Natalie was there to drive him home, and sleep with him before he passed out. Natalie of course feeling used and guilty afterwards would drown her sorrows in the bottle, and then fall asleep trying to forget the night.
She'd fallen in love. And that was the last thing that either her or Richard needed.
Checking her phone after class, she saw that Richard had called, quickly calling him back, she decided to drop by the paper office, since she knew he would be there. Reaching his desk she sat in the seat next to it waiting for him to get off the phone.
"How was your test?" He asked, almost like a real boyfriend.
"I'm sure I failed. But you didn't call me to ask me that now did you?" Natalie said not really caring for the pleasantries anymore.
"Okay. Um look about last night, I'm sorry. I know that I kind of went over bored on the booze. But my dad-"
"Richard would you stop with the excuses! No one makes you drink! You choose to. I've tried to just forget about it, but I don't want to. Okay! I'm done. I can't do this anymore!" Natalie yelled attracting attention to them. "Look I'm sorry for that, but I can't do this. Richard I want a boyfriend that I can rely on. I don't want to be a babysitter. Or have to drink my night away to forget how miserable I am!"
"Please just meet me tonight. Even if it's just for you to say goodbye, just please!" Richard begged.
"Fine, Levinson Hall, 8 pm. If you're late, don't track me down." Natalie said truly meaning it. Giving him a short kiss goodbye, hat was the last time that Natalie was to ever see Richard again.
8 pm came and went. And finally at 9:20 Natalie climbed to the top of Levinson, walking out to the ledge of the roof looking over, see had seen on the news the stories of her fellow students who had jumped and ended their lives so easily earlier that week. How easy it would be to jump and forget everything that had happened. Feeling her phone vibrating in her coat pocket, she pulled it out seeing that it was Richard calling.
"You're late." Was all she said into the phone.
"I know I'm sorry we had a break in a story down here at the office." Richard explained.
"That's great. I might have loved you, but I'm still done." Natalie said. She quickly hung up on her end, turning her phone off before sliding it back into her pocket. Walking closer to the edge she looked out and the world beyond Bedford. Nothing else really seemed to exist. Looking down at the ground, she uttered one word before closing her eyes and falling into what she thought would be death. "Goodbye."