Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls.

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews and sorry for the wait between chapters...like I said my computer access is limited right now.

Sookie sighed deeply and looked across the table at Luke who was slouched in his chair, jaw set firm, his face turned in profile to her as he stared off into space, lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. She folded her hands on the table and chewed lightly on her bottom lip, unsure of how or where to begin.

"Luke," she started finally, "I need you to listen to me."

He grunted but made no move to look at her.

"I know how this looks," she continued, her voice firmer now, "but you have no right to shut me out. I did not lie to you. And don't you ever accuse me of not caring for you!" She paused after that, but the emotion that had crept into her voice was not lost on Luke and he now turned to look at her. His left hand was lying, fisted, on the table top and Sookie placed both of her hands over it, as if such contact might help him understand her.

"Luke," she continued softly, "no one was as affected by her leaving as you, none of us can even fathom the pain you're in, that you've been in, alright? No one's debating that. But what I don't think you realize is that we were hurt by it too, we lost her too—I did, this town did—she left all of us. That year you spent searching—don't you think we were searching too? She's my best friend, Luke, and she was gone, just like that—no goodbye, no idea where she went, no idea if she was even alright…But, well, there comes a point where you have to move on I guess, keep living life…which is what we all did." She bit her lip again. "That doesn't mean we ever stopped hurting though."

Luke stared off again. "How was I supposed to move on with my life? She was my life."

"I know," Sookie replied softly, running her hand soothingly over her arm, "I know…Luke, I swear to you that entire year you searched I had just as little clue as to where she was as you did. Only one person knew…"

"Rory," he supplied for her.

Sookie nodded and continued, "after you gave up searching you…you just kind of disappeared, Luke. For months you lived like a hermit inside of that apartment and…and Stars Hallow all of a sudden hadn't just lost one person—we'd lost two." She paused letting her words sink in on Luke. "It was sometime during those months you were…" she paused searching for the right word, "M.I.A., that I got a phone call."

Luke looked up at her.

"It was from Rory, which wasn't completely unusual, but what was odd was that it was pretty late at night and she was dead set on having me come meet her here at the inn. Jackson thought it was crazy, but it was so rare that Rory came around Stars Hallow I just couldn't say no, I didn't even question her. When I got here I found her standing outside the stable. The light was on, which it shouldn't have been, and she just smiled at me and told me to go on in. She seemed so happy Luke, it had been a long time since I had seen her so excited about something…so, of course, I went in."

Luke's head was spinning with hurt, anger, accusation, confusion, and…well, a lot of things. He didn't want to sit there calmly listening to Sookie, he wanted answers. Rory had just told him that Lorelai still loved him! Hadn't she? Luke was starting to wonder if maybe he'd dreamed it…maybe this whole day was some damn nightmare and he'd wake up with a hangover and go about his life, the life he hated, but had gotten used to. Yet, he couldn't stop thinking about Rory, the way she had cried as she stood there across the lawn yelling back to him…why would she lie? He just couldn't believe she would have lied to him like that…But if she hadn't lied why had Lorelai run from him? Why had she been coming to see Sookie but never once made an attempt to contact him? God, she couldn't even have the decency to let him know she was alive…Luke's thoughts were broken as Sookie's voice beginning again, continuing her story.

"I walked in, and there she was, just standing there by the horses." Luke could tell Sookie was fighting to keep her voice steady. "I couldn't believe it, you know? It'd been a year, a whole year, of nothing and then…there she was. I thought if I ever did see her again I might be angry with her…maybe I should have been…but, in that moment all anger was gone…I was just so happy to have her back, even just for a little while." Sookie paused to brush a few silent tears away. "I had a million questions for her, all the same questions you have I'm sure, but she wouldn't discuss anything. She looked at me after we were done crying and screaming and hugging and said, 'Sookie, I know there's a lot you want to know and there's a lot you have the right to know…but I can't go there yet.' And she had such a pleading look about her when she said it…Luke, she was as haunted by the past as you are… I mean, she was doing okay enough, don't get me wrong…but she wasn't good, Luke, leaving wasn't easy for her."

Luke made no reaction except to shift uncomfortably in his seat. Sookie took his silence as a request to continue.

"So we didn't talk about any of the whys or hows. We talked about Rory, we talked about the inn, we talked about Davey and Martha, and about the town…but not you Luke. Every time we got close to the subject of you she just looked like she was going to break. It was then that I knew she still loved you Luke, I mean I would have thought so anyway but…but that look she had anytime the idea of mentioning your name occurred to her…that's how I knew. We talked, gosh, we must have talked until almost dawn that night. She didn't want to stay too long though, she didn't want anyone to know she had come…"

At this Michel let out a snort, clearly offended that he had not been included in this original meeting. Sookie rolled her eyes and shot him a look. He said nothing further and returned to staring out the window above the sink, sipping coffee from the mug he had apparently poured at some point during the conversation.

"She wanted to still work for the inn. Obviously she'd be an absentee owner, but she said she could give me a cell number and she could work on things from where ever she was. She said she just didn't want to give it up, you know, it had been her dream, our dream, and she just still wanted to be a part of it. Well, how could I say no?"

She caught the look on Luke's face upon his hearing that she had had a phone number for Lorelai for quite some time now.

"It's not like you think Luke," she hurried to continue. "I had no idea where she was, it was just a cell number. She never answered it either, it always went to voicemail. I was a little hurt at first, I had wanted to talk to her, but it was better than nothing I guess. I would leave questions or information about the inn and then she would email me her answers. They were always short and never about anything more than inn business. If I gave you that number Luke all you could have done was left a voicemail…"

"It would have been something!" He cut in, angry again.

"And then we would have lost her for good," Sookie replied. "I couldn't bare the thought of that Luke. This wasn't much but at least it gave me hope that there could be more, that she wasn't gone completely." Sookie sighed, not sure of how to make him understand. "No one else knew about any of it, Luke—not the visit, not the phone number, not the emails, nothing."

"Especially not me!" Michel spat bitterly from his corner. Sookie raised her eyebrows at Luke as if to say 'see?'

"If she was so secretive and if no one else," Luke shot a pointed look at Michel, "knew then why was she sitting here in the kitchen, with the staff, during the middle of the day, with this guy shouting warnings all the way through the dinning room? Huh?"

"Well," Sookie went on, "there's more. About…" she paused thinking, "three months later…or, hm, maybe more like four…" she caught Luke's impatient look and decided not to worry about specifics. "Okay, well a few months later then, I was staying later than usual at the inn working on a cake for a wedding we were having. I always stay late the night before a wedding, I have to check and re-check the menus and there's always something to add to the appetizer list and…" she caught another look from Luke and cleared her throat, getting back on track. "Anyway, I guess I'm kind of predictable like that, predictable enough that Lorelai knew she could find me. I was just standing there mixing some extra icing when I hear the back door open and in she walks. I was stunned. And then, you know, it was more hugging, and screaming, and crying." Sookie laughed at her own antics before gesturing to Michel. "And that's when he got involved."

"Yes, heaven forbid I be invited to anything, nooo, I have to find out all for myself," Michel went on.

Sookie continued, "Apparently he'd forgotten something or another…"

"My live recording of Celine Dion's second Montreal concert is not a 'something or another'!"

"Anyway," Sookie went on, "he heard the yelling and walked in the kitchen."

"Just like old times, you two never provide any peace and quiet for anyone…"

"Oh please Michel!" Sookie shot back, "you were so happy to see her you just about cried—and that was after squealing and hopping around like a school girl." She turned to Luke, "don't let him fool you."

"I don't really know why she came that time, Luke. I think she just wasn't doing so well and maybe needed to know she hadn't lost her past completely. I also think, well, I think she wanted to be close to you, just for a little bit, and although the inn was as far into Stars Hallow as she could force herself to venture…it was still Stars Hallow you know? It was still somewhere the two of you had a lot of memories…in a way, I think it was her way of convincing herself that she hadn't imagined the time she spent with you." Sookie looked up at him. "God, Luke, she loves you. I think that's why she came back here, just to try to remember what that felt like. She used to tell me how the happiest moments of her life were the ones she spent with you. I think she needed to feel that again, to remind herself she had to keep going on…" Sookie broke off, willing herself not to cry again.

Luke shook his head slightly, as if to clear his mind as he tried to sort it all out. "That's what Rory was saying," he commented, more to himself than anyone else, "that she still loves me, that there hasn't been anyone else…"

"She's right Luke," Sookie cut in, "it's like…it's like she's incomplete without you, like she doesn't know how to live now that you're gone…"

Sookie's voice brought Luke out of his thoughts and back to the conversation at hand. "Then why did she leave? Why did she run from me just now? Why…" he trailed off before sighing dejectedly. "Just…why?"

"Well, I…" Sookie began before pausing to search for the right words. She let out a sigh of her own. "I don't know. Luke I know you have questions, I have them too. I can only answer so much." She tightened her grasp on his arm. "There's only one person who can tell you what you want to know…what you need to know."

Luke ran his free hand over the blue material of his baseball cap and broke Sookie's gaze as he resumed staring off into space ahead of him.

Sookie took that as her cue to hurriedly resume her story, struggling not to lose him—this was the closest she had seen him come to going after Lorelai, to even admitting Lorelai's existence. She couldn't help feeling torn though—Lorelai had never specifically asked her to avoid saying anything t Luke…but she had a feeling it was an unspoken assumption. However, she knew how much Lorelai was suffering, how much Luke was suffering, so even though it might not have been what Lorelai would have wanted now Sookie couldn't shake the gut feeling that by telling Luke everything she knew, even if it wasn't much, she'd be helping them both in the end. Or at least she sure hoped so.

"That second time she came," Sookie went on, "she was having trouble being superwoman. You know how she is…but she was so upset Luke, she was like you've been, really, and she was having trouble covering that up. So, after exhausting meaningless small talk I finally asked her what she was doing, where she was staying, why she wouldn't just come home…" as Luke turned to face Sookie, intrigued by her confession, it was Sookie's turn to stare off, a far away look in her eyes. "She just started crying, Luke, crying and crying and saying she couldn't over and over again. So of course I started crying." She looked up at Michel. "We all cried."

Luke too found himself glancing in the direction of the Frenchman, waiting for his next dry, cutting remark. None came though. Instead, Michel stood silently leaning up against the sink, staring into his coffee cup, absently tracing circles around its edge with his finger tips. If Luke hadn't seen it he probably wouldn't have believed it, but he realized that the annoying poodle-owning receptionist actually looked…well…sad. That solemn, heart-wrenching type of sad…the kind Luke had come to know so well. It was in that moment Luke realized that he would never be able to despise the whiny little man again. In fact, although he'd never admit it, there might even be an off chance he could grow to like him.

Sookie gathered herself and continued. "She said she couldn't tell me where she was or where she was going." She saw Luke's face fall a little. "But she told me she'd tell me where she was at least." She took a deep breath, trying to remember all the details, just as Lorelai had told them to her, and continued. "She said that after she left she didn't know what to do, where to go, she was just…numb. So she drove, just drove and drove, playing the U2 records straight through—from Boy to How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb—over and over. She called it a 'Bono' situation." Sookie gave a soft laugh at the rememberance. "She drove until she simply couldn't anymore. She just got out of the car, looked around, and realized she'd ended up in Chicago. She stayed there, just about up until the first time she contacted me…so a little over a year I guess? That was how long it took her to, 'become human again' as she put it. She didn't go into a lot of detail but it seemed she basically just went from hotel to hotel, moving on when she couldn't stand one place anymore. I don't think she worked. It sounded like her parents were sending her money, through Rory of course. That just tells you the state of things—that her parents were willing to hand over the money without demanding the details of her whereabouts, and, even more so, that she was willing to just take it. Finally, and I think a lot of it had to do with Rory, she decided she had to keep living I guess. So she left Chicago. She was on her way to Flordia when she stopped to see me. She met up with Mia, who has a condo there, and stayed with her. She got a job working for her sister or friend…someone. It was something in an office…secretary or receptionist or…well something like that. It was a job, you know. And she still had the inn. She flew up to see Rory a lot. If it wasn't for her having Rory…" Sookie trailed off shaking her head. "I'm just glad she had Rory."

A silence fell over the group as Luke took in what he had heard, mentally trying to trace her path over the years. Finally he spoke. "So she's in Florida?"

Sookie's eyes fell to the floor as she shook her head. "No."

"But I thought you said…"

"She was in Florida."

"Oh." Luke's shoulders slumped as he sank back in his chair. He had felt like he was so close…

"She wasn't meant for Florida, Luke, and she knew that. I mean this is the woman who could smell snow. Florida was somewhere to escape to, somewhere where she could learn to live again, but not a place to stay. A few months ago she moved, got a job she said she was better suited to…something she enjoyed…she said, well, she said she needed all the reasons to get up in the morning she could. She said she really enjoys it, it takes her mind off of things anyway, at least for a little bit…"

"And she's been coming to see you ever since?" Luke cut in.

"No," Sookie replied, "this was actually only the third time I've seen her. The staff, well, none of them live in town really, they don't know too much of what's going on so I guess she's not worried about them seeing her. I got an email last week saying she thought we should meet to go over a few things for inn in person and, well, I wasn't going to turn down a chance to see her. She was here for about an hour before you got here. She wouldn't tell me where she was staying now Luke…I don't know, and I didn't want to push the issue too much. She seemed better than last time she was here, whatever this new job is I think it's doing her some good but…well she's just surviving Luke, not living really." Sookie raised a hand to his face and turned his chin towards her, forcing him to look at her, "kind of like you," she said softly.

Luke got slowly to his feet, almost unable to believe how close he had been and how little good it had done him. He caught sight of the pots lying on the floor and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry about the pots, Sookie…I'm sorry…"

"I know," she said coming up behind him and placing a hand softly on his shoulder.

He began to walk out but paused in front of a slip of paper on the counter. "Is this the number?" He asked, running his fingers over it lightly.

Sookie nodded. "It's an updated one. She said she got a new phone…something about losing the old one in the move…" Sookie bit her lip nervously. "Luke…I can't…I mean I wish…but…you can't call that number Luke."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know." When he was almost out the door he heard Sookie call after him.

"Don't give up on her Luke!"

He paused for a moment but in the end said nothing and continued out the door. He paused in the foyer, watching Michel, who had left the kitchen a few moments before him, check out an elderly couple. Michel looked up and the two of them shared a look that to some outsider might have looked not only non-disdainful but of a sort of equal respect.

"It is a shame you do not have a cell phone number," Michel commented to his guests, slightly louder than necessary. "It would make it easier for us to contact you in the future."

"Oh we don't have much need for that," the woman explained.

Michel went on, disregarding her comment. "If you should get one, take a careful look at the area code. Those that are somewhat educated about such technological matters would know that although some numbers have universal, non-distinctive area codes, some share the area code of your residence...which is helpful if you plan on residing there for some time." He gave Luke a pointed glance.

"We really don't need a cell phone," the woman reiterated, oblivious to the exchange of glances that had taken place around her.

Luke walked outside thinking. I had no idea where she was, it was just a cell number... She wasn't meant for Florida, Luke… she moved… new phone… share the area code of your residence… plan on residing there for some time… He felt his head jerk up as his mind scrambled, trying to recall the three numbers he'd seen at the start of the phone number. Finally it hit him. "Brooklyn," he whispered.