Disclaimer: I don't own Discworld or any of its characters. Sadly.

Summary: Basically, this takes place after Maskerade and before Carpe Jugulum. I based this on some scenes and dialogue from Lords and Ladies, and wrote about what I thought Granny's true feelings were on Magrat's "retirement". Enjoy.

Magrat

Greetings from Ankh-Morpork, the centre of the world. Well, so they say, seems more like the centre of all the cesspits of the world. We're here on some business involving a cookery book that Gytha wrote. A cookery book, not any book that involves any...goings-on...in any way at all! Also, something involving the opera house.

We hope you are well. I'm writing for a reason though, as you've probably guessed. You know how I hate writing.

I just want to say, we want you back. Not just Gytha, me too. Yeah, I bet you'd never hear me say that. In fact, you never will. It'll just be on this piece of paper. I'd never live it down if that Shawn Ogg or your young man heard me saying that I need other people.

Sorry, I'm off the point. Like I was saying, we want you back, we need you back. It was like you said, there's a natural number for witches. Four is too crowded. Two is too...empty. Three is best. Three. Maiden, mother and ...the other one. Gytha's the mother. In fact...there's no-one closer to a definition of mother than Gytha. I'm...the other one and you're the maiden. At least you were. You've been married for a couple of months now, so I guess you're out of the maiden category now.

Remember how it was before? When it was the three of us in the coven. That coven was a really good idea. Without the coven, I'd probably have gone the way Black Aliss did. Gingerbread houses, sleeping castles and wossname. Kept me sane.

But now you're gone. You're a queen now, not a witch. The coven still goes on, but it ain't the same saying at the end of meetings, "When shall we two meet again?" Doesn't have the same ring to it. Three is balanced, far easier.

With three witches, there's always a mediator, someone who can help the others make up after an argument. There's always someone to make the tea so we can think properly. There's always someone there to ask the questions, so we can answer and remember why we do the things we do. You always thought you were the least important witch, but you were wrong. You were the most important one. You reminded us why we did things and how we did them.

We might be taking a new witch on board. You remember Agnes who calls herself Perditax? Her. But personally, I don't think she'll be a real replacement for you. She doesn't have the same kind of "ring".

It'd be a good ending if you dropped it all and came back to the coven. It'd just be like it was before, the good old days. Gawd, Magrat, you know how I detest using that phrase. But I'd say it three times if it'd make you come back. No more though. I'm not a begger.

But of course that'd be a good ending. And witches don't expect good endings. We expect right endings.

The right ending would be one where you stay with Verence, do your duty as queen and look after Lancre in areas where witches can't. You have the Craft, because the Craft chooses you, but you have a different kind of Craft, not one in spells or herbs or Borrowing, but one in looking after the country, ruling ably and wisely and looking out for your king and your people. That is the...right...ending.

Don't think that this is the end of our friendship. We'll still come round and see you at the castle, provided Shawn doesn't follow us with that bloody trumpet everywhere. You can still come and see either Gytha or I whenever you want, but you can't be a queen and a witch.

You can't be a witch and anything. It's just the witch.

That's the sacrifice you have to make.

Yours in good health

Esmerelda Weatherwax.