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Chapter Three

Past

Nikolai bit his lip, glaring at the problem on the screen for what seemed like an eternity. Sometimes if he waited long enough, a solution came to mind, but he doubted he'd get that lucky this time. What he needed was Bean. Too bad he'd kicked him out of the room, he thought, grinning wryly.

The door to the bunks opened. The room, noisy with keyboards, boys using scratch paper, and whispered conversations about homework or the next battle, all fell silent. Nikolai looked up, scanning the room. What was going on?

Bean stumbled in, half limping, a grimace on his face. Nikolai's eyes widened.

"What happened?" he asked, rushing up to his friend.

Bean shook his head. "Nothing," he said, pulling away and ducking his head in shame.

But not fast enough. Nikolai saw the traces of tears on his face, the dried blood. "Damn it, Bean…what'd you get yourself into?" It hurt to see Bean like this. Nikolai had taken it upon himself to watch out for Bean—not that Bean needed looking after, smart as he was. And for once, Bean had actually needed him, and Nikolai had let him down by not being there.

It scared him. He'd never seen Bean cry before. He didn't actually think it was possible for Bean to cry, and judging on the stunned expressions of the other kids, he knew he wasn't alone in that belief.

"It was Salamander Army, wasn't it?" Crazy Tom broke the silence then, jumping up from his bunk and throwing his desk aside. "Which one? Who did it?"

"Wasn't them. Wasn't anybody."

"Bean, stop being an idiot. Just tell us," Nikolai urged him. "It's okay."

"I'm telling you, it wasn't anybody," Bean repeated. He lifted his head and looked right at Nikolai. His eyes looked like empty, haunted voids, one of them beginning to bruise black. His features, so childish and yet so wise, shining with blood and tears like a sick artist's painting. They were only children. All of them. It hardly seemed fair that a five-year-old was expected to cope with all this pressure.

"C'mon, somebody did it," Crazy Tom pressed on. "Some coward, picking on the little kid like that—damn those Salamanders—"

"It wasn't the Salamanders. It wasn't anyone. It was…" he trailed off, swallowed hard. "I ran into a wall."

Crazy Tom laughed a sharp, barking laugh that echoed through the room, unable to contain himself. "The floor punched you in the eye and the jaw? Made you limp? Been falling a lot, Bean?"

Nobody laughed. Nobody was supposed to.

"Just drop it," Bean asked of them, heading up to his bunk.

Every head turned to watch him struggle up and sit with his head between his knees, blocking them all out. Every student seethed, knowing full well that it was indeed the work of another jealous army, no matter what Bean told them. They knew Bean's track record. He was a weird one—he'd lie to them about it, make it seem like everything was okay. Nikolai didn't want to live a lie, but he "dropped it."

"What did Ender want?" he asked softly once the room had continued its activity, realizing their attempts to get information from Bean were fruitless.

Bean looked up and frowned. Nikolai winced at the sight of the blood. How could teachers allow this kind of thing to happen?

"He wanted something?"

"Yeah. Came in here asking to see you a couple of minutes ago. Went out to go find you."

Bean groaned. "He found me alright."

"Bean…what happened?" Nikolai asked seriously. "You can tell me. You can trust me, you know that."

Bean nodded. "I know." He sighed. "It's just…I don't know if you'll believe me."

Nikolai waited.

"The game," Bean finally said. "The fantasy game."

"Yeah. The one you never play?" Nikolai asked.

"That one," Bean confirmed. "It was…in the game room. I saw…you see, when I was little, I lived on the streets of Rotterdam. Kids were like stray dogs. We starved. We fought each other like barbarians. When I was four, I…" He blinked hard, then reopened his eyes after gaining composure. "I told the leader of a group of kids—Poke was her name, and she had compassion, so much that she…well, I told her I had a plan. I was starving. I'd have died within the week, had I not enlisted her help…" Nikolai thought it was his mind playing tricks on him, but it looked like Bean's eyes were watering.

"Go on," Nikolai prompted him.

Bean took a deep breath. "I told her to get one of the big bully kids and kill him. So all of the other bullies would get the message and leave the little kids alone, since we outnumbered them anyway. We'd get into the food kitchens for once. But…Poke chose the wrong bully. I knew it the instant I saw him. 'Kill him,' I said. I was a murderer at four years old. I kept saying it—he was down, the brick was in her hands, she could have done it. She could have lived." The last word was merely a whisper.

"But instead she let Achilles live, and he took over our little band. Got the kids to call him Papa. Got us into the soup kitchen by nearly killing someone. I played my part as the adorable little starved kid to make it look authentic." Bean sniffed then and hid his face from view. "But Achilles never forgot and he never forgave. He singled me and Poke out. And he…killed Poke."

"I'm sorry," Nikolai expressed, astonished. He knew Bean's past had been rough. He knew that Bean was an orphan, but living on the streets at four years old? Starving? Trying to formulate a plan to get by at that young an age?

It didn't surprise him, though. Bean was a genius. It was scary.

"Not as sorry as I am. You don't understand. It…should have been me. I followed Poke to the dock that night." Bean paused. "I saw them kissing. Poke and Achilles. I turned my back, headed towards the other kids, who were sleeping. I should have known. 'You promised,' she said, and I left. About a block…back to camp…" His voice cracked. "I realized what was happening. I ran back and her body was…floating…in the water."

Nikolai didn't know what to say. "It wasn't your fault," he assured his friend. "It was an accident."

Bean waited a moment before speaking again. " 'You promised,' she said. Promised what, Nikolai? Promised to let me live?"

"Bean…"

"Achilles was in the fantasy game, Nikolai, and he beat me up. It's the murder I deserved to suffer. He's punishing me in the game…"

"The fantasy game did this to you?" Nikolai gasped.

"Achilles did it to me."

"It's only a game, it can't do that…"

"Yes, it can. They've rigged it or something. I don't know. I don't care. These people at Battle School, these adults that we're supposed to trust with our lives, they don't like me at all. They're testing me or something, or maybe they want me dead. Less complications in their school. After all, they think I'm not…" He stopped mid-sentence. "Normal," he finally finished.

"They want you here, Bean, otherwise you wouldn't be here. And if that game really did that to you…just stay away from it, it's bad news."

"Ender saw it happen. I know I'm not crazy."

"I never said you were."

Bean looked up and smiled weakly at him. "I know. Thanks."

"Don't thank me, I'm just saying you aren't crazy right now. Tomorrow or the next day, I have no idea. With all these battles they're throwing at us, I wouldn't be surprised if we all ended up crazy," Nikolai groaned.

"Let me guess. You need help with algebra."

Nikolai rolled his eyes. "Help? I think I need an army."

"Close enough," said Bean, grabbing his desk and getting down from his bunk to join Nikolai. He logged onto his desk and saw a message waiting for him from Ender, asking him to see him as soon as possible.

"Sorry, I have to go. Ender wants to see me," Bean explained, showing him the desk, face full of dread.

"I guess you're going to find out what he wanted after all," Nikolai guessed.

"I hope that's it."

"You'd better run, lights out is in ten minutes."

Bean nodded. "Right. See you later."


Well, I'm gonna be in Seattle fora week, but don't worry, I'll update as soon as I get back. Lol. I'm saying that for the benefit of the two people that reviewed--either that or to the general public to warn them that no, I have not given up on this nonsensical, crazed plot, and I fully intend to keep posting new chappies! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks for the reviews! They made my week! Here are some digital cookies for you...they're baked fresh from the internet...:D