Okay… for some reason, I have Naughty Girl by Beyoncé stuck in my head, and it's killing my brain cells. And that's why this chapter may or may not suck.

Fuhrer Allie: That thing with the boxers still kills me. xD Exactly! It's always the government's fault! Well, we gotta get rid of the annoying emo kids somehow. Might as well have Demyx do it; besides, he makes it all funnier. :D

Guavi: I was debating with myself since Friday for what song to use, and I figured that one was the best I'd come up with. Though, I was originally going to have Demyx sing to Xigbar, but whatever. lmao! Actually, I was going to somehow make Axel pop up in the chapter, but figured that I shouldn't… but Zexion showing up. Damn, that idea was great.

Takarifan101: Heh, thanks. Happy to know that you like it so much. Yeah, Luxord's weapon is freaking sweet. Who else uses cawds? I'm pretty sure there was someone in Chrono Cross that did… but I'm not sure… lol No, it's not a yaoi story. That was just my semi-crack chapter, where everything sort of goes screwy. I'll check your stories out after I look at Xinck's and when I'm done with my own. I already owe it to Xinck, since he asked last week or sometime, I think?

Scylla Desdemonia Ophelia: lmao! Of course you can use it. It's not like it's copyrighted or anything… but maybe that's a good idea. xD Yes! That's awesome. Nice to know my story has inspired artwork. :D Emo kids are fun to draw; I love drawing them!

EliasDaemonwing: Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you like my story and think it's great and stuff.

Screw disclaimers! Out of characterness is sold here!

- - -

Last chapter, we left off with all the readers thinking that maybe this really was a yaoi. Silly readers. The author's just having fun with her story and making the characters act all weird-like and stuff. The four Nobodies made their way home (through a portal, and this time ended up in the apartment, instead of in a conveniently placed alley).

Sleeping arrangements:

Luxord slept in his room, because he demanded his privacy. Sa­ïx slept on the couch, for he would not be demoted to sleeping on the floor. Xigbar and Demyx both slept on floor, but about ten feet apart. Demyx by the sliding glass door, and Xigbar by the front door.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

At about eight-thirty the next morning, Sa­ïx woke up. He was still pissed at Demyx for what he did last night at the bar, so he decided he'd wake him up in a very special manner. Getting up from the couch he slept on, he looked around and saw Demyx, curled up in a ball with his back to the glass door, leaning against it. He made his way around Xigbar, who was in a strange, sprawled out position, half-way hugging the end of the couch. Sa­ïx gave a disgusted grunt as he stepped over The Freeshooter.

He then walked over to Demyx's sleeping form. The Luna Diviner looked down at the younger Nobody, who was sleeping peacefully with a serene look on his face. Instead of making a look complete adoration like any fangirl would, Sa­ïx's face became contorted with a malicious grin. He slowly raised his right foot behind him, savoring the moment when he would punish Demyx, and then brought that same foot forward, right into the musician's stomach. Demyx's eyes shot open and a look of pain came onto his face.

"Hn!" he 'said', when the foot first connected. "What the fuck--ing Hell!" he squealed, as Sa­ïx kicked him again, and then a third time before the Nobody that was being kicked grabbed his boot. "What the Hell do you think you're doing?"

"Was I doing something you didn't approve of, Demyx?" Sa­ïx asked, trying to sound clueless, but failing miserably. Come on! It's Sa­ïx, the only way he can sound is apathetic! He then wrenched his foot out of the blonde's grip and kicked him in the knee. Demyx screamed in pain, waking Xigbar, who was still dazed from sleep.

"What the Hell…" he said, drowsily. He then registered what was going on when he saw Sa­ïx stomping on Demyx. "Holy Hell!" he exclaimed, getting up from the floor and pulling Sa­ïx away from Demyx.

"Let me go! Let me go, you old, stupid bastard!" Sa­ïx yelled, trying to struggle away.

"As if! And, I'm not that old!" Xigbar roared in response, throwing the other into the couch, and stomping on his stomach. Sa­ïx's eyes got large and rolled back in his head slightly, as he made a noise that sounded similar to a cat when it's getting ready to vomit. "That's right, you never cross your superiors," he said triumphantly, as Sa­ïx leaned forward gripping his stomach. Just then, Luxord emerged from his room, looking as though he hadn't been asleep at all (that means he looked well-groomed and clean), while the other three had mussed up hair and wrinkled clothes.

"What's going on?" he asked, surprised at all the noise. He looked from Sa­ïx holding his stomach and hunched forward, to Demyx (also clutching his stomach, and knee!), looking like a kicked puppy. (Fangirls: Aww, poor Demy!) And finally he looked at Xigbar, just standing in the middle of the room smirking. "What'd you do?" he asked, slowly, wide-eyed.

"Nuffiiiiing," the elder Nobody said innocently.

Luxord crossed his arms over his chest. "Somehow, Xigbar, I don't really think the role of 'innocent bystander' fits you very well," he said sarcastically. "What'd you do to them?" Luxord was exasperated.

Demyx made a small whimpering sound and sat up, back propped against the door to the balcony, and rubbing his knee while holding his stomach. "I'll tell ya what happened… Sa­ïx, while I was sleeping ever so peacefully, came over and started stomping on me and kicking me!" he whined. "I didn't even do anything!"

"Dude, maybe it had to do with you singing Liz Phair to him last night," Xigbar said sarcastically.

Demyx crossed his arms, and pouted. "So? That was last night. I didn't do anything today," he said, not really understanding the concept of holding a grudge.

"Well, that explains why Demyx is in pain… But what about Sa­ïx?" Luxord asked no one in particular.

"Bastard kicked me in the stomach," Sa­ïx choked out, pointing to Xigbar, while still in pain from having his organs relocated to an area closer to his spinal cord.

"He had it coming," Xigbar explained to the blonde, crossing his arms. "He called me old. And he tried to get away from me when I was so graciously trying to save Demyx. What a jerk."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk…" Luxord scolded, suddenly becoming the voice of reason among the four of them. "Demyx, you should not have sung such a disturbing song to Sa­ïx last night. Sa­ïx, control your temper, and please don't kick Demyx; he has a fragile, petite bone structure, and he whines. Xigbar, you are too old," he said calmly, turning to each when he spoke to them. Xigbar started glaring at the blonde.

"I'm not that old! I told you in the first chapter of this story, my hair turned grey when I became a Nobody. And who says that you can tell us what to do? I'm Number II!"

"You're older than the rest of us, so that makes you old. And I can tell you all what to do, because I'm the most sane and sensible and mature one out of the four of us," he said smiling. "Now, you all should get ready to leave."

"Leave? Leave for where?" Demyx asked from his spot by the glass door.

"Leave for Castle Oblivion," Sa­ïx said, standing and not feeling so much like he had to toss his cookies anymore. "Xemnas said to be back as soon as we found these two," he said, indicating Numbers II and X. "We should have been back yesterday; and we should leave now."

"Fuck that shit, bitch," Xigbar said, sounding strangely gangster. "I'm not leaving until I get something from my favorite place in th--"

"You mean you want something from the adult theatre?" Luxord cut him off. "I don't think they sell anything other than tickets to their movies."

"No! Although…" Xigbar's voice trailed off and he had a far-off look in his eyes, then he was back to reality. "No, I mean I wanna get something from that one coffee shop."

"You don't mean the one from last night, do you?" Sa­ïx asked, all grrrr-like.

"Of course not. I mean Starbucks," he clarified. "It's just too bad that all the emo kids kill themselves at The Beehive instead of Starbucks, so we won't be seeing any action today, like we did last night." Xigbar sounded somewhat let down.

"You mean, we're just going to go to some coffee shop and then leave? We're not even going to have… breakfast?" Demyx whined, eyes tearing up.

"They sell food at Starbucks," Sa­ïx said, before getting up. "Fine, we'll go to your stupid coffee shop and then we'll go back to the castle." Xigbar patted him on the shoulder, smiling.

"I love it when I get my way. Not that you'd really have a choice of whether to listen to me or not, I am, after all, your superior and I'm stronger than you," said Xigbar. Sa­ïx could be heard mumbling something along the lines of '…then why was the boss fight with me the last one before Xemnas, and you died before Luxord…' "Wha?"

Sa­ïx looked up and glared. "Nothing. Somebody just open a portal to Starbucks and let's get this over with," he sneered. Xigbar opened a portal to his 'favorite Starbucks in the whole, wide world' and they all stepped through, you know, not until after they all got ready to be seen in public without bed-head hair.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Unlike with the other portals, this one didn't end in an alley. It ended right in front of Starbucks, because Xigbar just doesn't care. And the pedestrians, being the pedestrians they are, didn't seem to care either; because they're from a big city and they've seen it all. This was a bit of a disappointment for Sa­ïx, though, since there were no homeless people for him to behead and take his rage out on. He'd have to hurt Demyx or Axel later, when they got back to Castle Oblivion.

To Sa­ïx's surprise, though, the portal also ended up in front of the Starbucks he'd been to before. You remember the chapter when he convinced that emo girl to kill herself, right? Yeah, same Starbucks. He followed the other three inside, nonetheless. Standing at the counter was an emo girl (who looked curiously like the girl that killed herself at The Beehive) who looked curiously like the girl that Sa­ïx told to kill herself before. The only difference was that her hair was a bit longer, blacker, and was messier, looking as if she hadn't washed (or brushed) it in weeks. She even had the same makeup as the last girl. Luxord and Xigbar studied the menu, while Demyx was busy making scuff marks on the floor for fun. Sa­ïx walked up to the counter.

"But, you killed yourself!" he said, loudly.

The girl at the counter, Shana (he saw, after looking at her nametag), gave a him weird expression. "Dude, what?"

"You were supposed to kill yourself last night," he told her more calmly than when he started. "I told you to do it, yesterday." Luxord and Xigbar looked at him, but Demyx remained creating scuff marks that were then in the shape of a smiley face.

She looked confused for a few more seconds, then understanding spread across her face. "O, I know what you're talking about! Yeah, the girl you told to kill herself did. Her name was Margarita; she hated her life, just like I do, and she finally got up the courage to take the cowardly way out of it and cut her wrists wide open. Yeah, she went down the highway instead of across the street." The girl nodded sagely. "She was supposed to be working right now; however, since she offed herself, they called me in to work, and told me all about it." The girl then looked pissed after her last sentence. Acting like someone killing themself was no big deal.

"O, well, that's good then," Sa­ïx said, blankly.

"Wait, hold up a sec here, you got some girl to do herself in, just like Demyx did?" Number II asked the blue-haired, elf-lookin' man. The latter nodded calmly. "Aw, Sa­ïx! I'm so proud of you! I always knew ya had it in ya."

"Of course I had it in me. I loathe 'emo kids'," Sa­ïx replied, saying 'emo kids' with an extra hint of disgust.

"Well, the murder of emo children aside, I'd really li--" Luxord started, but was cut off by Demyx.

"O MY GAWD!" he shrieked, while pointing at Shana. "IT'S SONNY MOORE!" he continued screaming, while backing up against the door. "Please, no! Please! I beg of you! Don't make anymore albums!" he begged, and slid to the floor, then curled up into the fetal position. His three compadres just stared at him in mild shock.

"What the fuck?" the girl said.

"He's saying you look like Sonny Moore," another girl that worked there said, while walking out of the back room. She had short black and red hair, and did her makeup in just a way so that she looked like a skeleton.

"O MY GAWD!" he started screeched again. "Now it's GERARD WAY come to back him up!" he yelled, nearly in tears on the floor. "Why are they here? Why do they torture me so? Why do they keep making music?" he asked no one in particular, curling himself up into a tighter ball, before beginning to sob. Sa­ïx walked over and kicked him, all while telling him to get up.

"Hah! Now he's saying you look like Gerard Way, you stupid bitch!" Shana tittered to her co-worker.

"Fuck you."

"Quiet!" Shana said, and then spoke in a low voice. "Nobody's supposed to know about us… remember? My parents think I'm straight and a virgin…"

"Yeah, yeah. I know, but I don't care. Do you have four fathers? I don't think so. 'Cause there's only four guys in here that want their drinks or food or whatever, so we should take their orders! Hello gentleman, how may I help you?" she, Susan, asked in a suddenly sweet and polite tone.

Luxord and Xigbar both gave each other wide-eyed, weirded out looks and Sa­ïx just shook his head at the whole situation, while Demyx continued to cry on the floor. Shana went to filing her nails, and Susan had some type of freakish emo-Barbie smile plastered on her face.

"So, this situation… It's quite strange and awkward," Luxord finally spoke up. No one else said anything. "Um, we'll order in a moment, please. Thank you," he said politely (he's such a gentleman) before he went over and started talking to Demyx.

"Demyx, get up," he said, while bending down on one knee to talk to the sobbing blonde. "What's your problem?"

The younger Nobody looked up at him with glassy eyes and a puppy-dog look on his face. "Please, keep them away from me… tell them not to make anymore music……"

"None of us have any idea what you're talking about."

"It's them," he said in a whisper so small, Luxord could barely here it. "It's Sonny Moore and Gerard Way… they've come to torture me… As if they don't do it enough when I sleep…." Demyx's eyes became wide with fear. "Save me Luxord," he said, while gripping the elder's lapels.

Luxord removed The Melodious Nocturne's hands from his shirt and spoke. "Number IX, get a hold of yourself. You're in no danger. Those two are not named Sonny Moore and Gerard Way, they're named Shana and Susan. They are not going to torture you with, it was music, right? They are just lesbian lovers that cannot stand each other and sell over-priced cappuccino and coffee."

A look of understanding grew on the younger's face and he slowly stopped his crying. "Really?"

"Really. And, you know, I wouldn't save you even if you really needed it. I mean, after you jumping on me in the middle of the sidewalk and all, no. No, I wouldn't save you," Luxord assured him.

"You're a jerk," Demyx said, and made a sniffling noise. He still had a runny nose from all the crying. He and Luxord walked back over to the counter, where Sa­ïx and Xigbar were figuring out what they wanted, Shana was filing her nails, and Susan was sitting on a chair reading Alternative Press Magazine.

"So, is everyone ready to order?" Luxord asked, trying to sound cheerful. The two Nobodies that had been standing there for some time nodded.

Demyx whimpered. "I'll be damned to the fiery caverns of Hell before I order anything from Sonny or Gerard, there," he hissed at Luxord as he pointed to the two girls.

"Makes no difference to me. Yes, I'd like a French vanilla and mocha cappuccino," Luxord told Shana.

"Alrighty… You heard the man! Move, bitch!" she yelled at Susan, as she looked up apathetically from her magazine. "And you two? What would you like?"

"Double shot of caramel flavoring, wrapped inside of a orange mochiatti mixed into a passion fruit and tea smoothie, with a double scoop of tapioca pudding, accompanied by a red flavored snow cone," Xigbar said all in one breath. Shana nodded, and handed the order to Susan.

"The usual, honey," Shana said to Susan. "And you, Elrond? What would you like?"

Twitching slightly at being called 'Elrond', Sa­ïx sighed and then ordered. "Anything containing alcohol."

"We don't sell alcohol here!" she huffed, seemingly offended.

"A double-shot espresso, then… No… just… the strongest drink you have," he said, defeated. Shana nodded and told the order to Susan, who quickly fixed the drinks. They paid and walked outside the restaurant.

Luxord took a sip of his cappuccino. "That went better than expected," he said simply. The other three all gave him strange looks. "What? Sa­ïx could have ended up killing those two, like he did the other one. Or Demyx could have gone crazy instead of whiny and killed them. Or Xigbar could have ended up shooting them. Any number of things could have gone wrong," he explained to them, pointing to each when he talked about them. "Now, what were we doing?"

"Going to the castle. Xemnas wants you and Xigbar back," Sa­ïx told him, sounding a bit edgy. "And we are leaving now."

"Whyyyyyyy?" Demyx whined.

"Yeah, c'mon, man. We're all having fun here. We like it here. There's stuff to do, unlike at the castle," Xigbar said.

"Tell Xemnas your complaints. I'm not his complaint/suggestion box," Sa­ïx said before opening a portal leading to Castle Oblivion. "Walk through the portal, or I swear, if anyone protests, I will rip out their esophagus and sew it back in upside-down. Questions?" Sa­ïx's eye twitched, so the other three knew he was being serious.

"No complaints here!" Xigbar said, taking a drink of his 'drink' and quickly walking through.

"Yeah, I'm ready to leave!" Demyx said, smiling in a frightened way. Luxord said nothing, but laughed nervously and ran through the portal. Sa­ïx followed, stalking into it, and closed the portal on his way in. The time it took to get to Pittsburgh was about three and a half hours; the journey back took two. Luxord, Demyx, and Xigbar were all scared to death of Sa­ïx when he was in one of his moods, so they basically ran half of the way. Most of the Organization members said it was PMS, but it was constant. Axel just told them all that he only acted that way when Xemnas wouldn't put out, which was all the time, since he was too busy worrying about Kingdom Hearts. They all secretly loved to make fun of Xemnas. Sadly, Luxord, Xigbar, and Demyx all had a confrontation with the Superior when they all got back to Castle Oblivion.

- - -

And that's where I'm ending it for this chapter. I think the next one will be the last, and it may not be out until Thursday night. I gotta go to school tomorrow, 'cause I've got an appointment with the guidance councilor. Yes, it's because of my repressed feelings of hatred toward myself and everyone else. They might medicate me. Not really, it's 'cause I gotta fix my schedule for this year.

Review?

There may not be an epilogue like in Missing Cards. Depends if I have anything to type after that. Sigh. Whatever. Hope ya liked it, even if I didn't. It took me forever to finish. :D

Sonny Moore is from From First to Last (they irritate me) and Gerard Way is from My Chemical Romance (I can stand them, at least… Except for Ghost of You. I hate that song).

(Damn thing's not letting me put rulers in.)