"Let's see, you're freakishly tall and pale blue, you'll be in the back." Marco, Pierre's assistant was assessing everyone for the group picture for the calendar. "Oh! You can definitely be August! August is the month for fun in the sun…and sharks!" Marco insisted. Kisame rolled his eyes, feeling inferior had pretty much become a standard. "You…well…you look like a plant, you're in the back too. You can be April because that's when plants and crap bloom." Marco told Zetsu. Pierre was agreeing thus far. "You have the potential to be attractive, you're in the middle. And you can be September because of that red hair, it matches the falling leaves!" Marco told Sasori. "Let's see, you're a peculiar fellow…you're definitely in the back and you're October, that face screams 'trick or treat'." Marco told Tobi. Tobi was delighted; he thought it was a compliment. " Hmmm…you must be the overly religious one. You have nice broad shoulders, you're in the middle and you're hair isn't a bad color either. You're March…but I don't have a reason for making you March." Marco told Hidan. Pierre always gave Marco jobs like this because Pierre could make all the notes about backdrops while Marco delegated months. "You're…well you're just very very average, there's nothing that jumps out about you, you're so in the back. You can be November because you kind of remind me of a pilgrim." Marco had just completely degraded Kakuzu. "Now, dark angel, baby blue, you two are in the front. God…I wish I could take you both to Cancun and make you work the camera all day!" Marco was tearing up again. "Okay, okay, anyway, dark angel you are going to be June because you have a birthday in June. Baby blue…you're going to be July."

"Now, the group shot is going to be December, I want the shark guy and dark angel for January, I want dark angel and baby blue for February, and Sasori and baby blue for May. It's done! Let's shoot! Group shot is first!" Marco clapped his hands and Pierre got the lens ready. Marco's job was done. The eight of them quickly got changed. However, once they all returned to Pierre for him to position everyone there was a hat dilemma…

"You know, I'm sexy in the hat but I'm even sexier without the hat, so let's lose the hats." Itachi insisted.

"Yeah, the hat covers my pony tail, yeah." Deidara said.

"You're wearing the hats, both of you!" Sasori insisted.

"Seriously, we have to wear the hats for the group shot. Besides, you know that Pierre will halfway undress you two later." Hidan said. Pierre had just made the decision that he wanted everyone in hats…so it was settled. He now started positioning everyone the way he wanted. Kisame, Zetsu, and Tobi in the back. Sasori, Hidan and Kakuzu in the middle behind a couch. And Itachi and Deidara on the couch in the front. It was picture perfect.

"I wish 'the leader' could have been here for this, yeah." Deidara said.

"Deidara, he's a fucking blob of static, he probably wouldn't even show up in the picture." Itachi told him.

"Well, he's out blob of static, yeah!" Deidara insisted.

"Okay, I want you all to look right at me…look as natural as possible. Now on the count of three say Orochimaru you fucking loser don't you wish you could be in the calendar, too bad you left Akatsuki, hahaha your belt is ugly, yeah.

"Deidara…did you tell him to say that?" Sasori asked.

"Yeah! I did!" Deidara was delighted, it made Sasori smile. Pierre snapped the first shot.

"Okay! One more, just to be certain!" He snapped three more simultaneously. He immediately looked at the preview. "Oh! It's gorgeous! Itachi! Deidara! You make it beautiful!" It was now time for the month by month breakdown…

"So, what do you wear under those robes?" Pierre wanted to know. Itachi immediately showed him. "That's beautiful! Oh I love the net! I love the way the shirt fits over the net! Okay, I'm shooting February first, dark angel, baby blue that's you." Pierre immediately wanted to change the backdrop to a slate charcoal. He instructed Itachi and Deidara to lose the robes. "Now, dark angel, I want you standing like this and turn this hand like this so we can see that ring." Pierre turned Itachi as a slight angle and place his right hand on his left shoulder so that the ring could be seen (Pierre was all into rings). "Now, baby blue lean your back against him, tilt your head this way so that this entire blonde is over his shoulder…and oh perfect!" Pierre adjusted them both exactly how he wanted them and 37 seconds later he had the perfect February photo.

Kisame and Itachi were next. "You know I really don't understand why he wants to photograph you and me. I mean we both know that no one gives a shit about me." Kisame was already ready to leave. Itachi convinced him that this calendar shoot was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. "Well do I have to do anything Vogue, like strike a pose or something stupid?" Kisame asked disgruntled.

"No Kisame! Just back me up." Kisame obliged and the picture actually turned out rather well. Tobi was the next one. Pierre kind of wanted to get him out of the way. Tobi was thrilled to hold the trick or treat bag for October. Needless to say, Pierre kept Tobi bundled up in the robe but told him to take off the hat…Tobi never looked happier…well, at least it was assumed he was happy, he had a swirly face so it was kind of hard to tell…