Chapter 7 (Tsukiko's POV)

Thank you again Mystic-sensei!

My body froze at his words; the words meaning the end. I never have, do or will believe in love. It hurt when someone tried to love me when I didn't believe in the emotion. I looked away and soon I could feel his hand on my own. "Tsukiko, I know that you-"

"No you don't!" I yelled, telling the truth would be unbearable and I was already crying due to the pain."I don't believe in love, I only believe in friendship with others…. don't you understand? I can't love anyone…. I'm not worth this." The door opens suddenly, and Uotani can see this demonstration of pain, how I undergo the tortue of waking up each day feeling as if I'm nothing. It was bringing me pain for Uotani to see this, Toki didn't even leave my side. Uotani stood frozen; staring at me as if they hadn't expected me to have so much pain.

"Tsukiko-chan…" She was attempting to calm me, but I felt Toki's presence more calming at the moment. He gazed at them, then went and whispered to Uotani softly, her hands curled into fists but relaxed as she nodded to the others.

"What did you?"

"I simply told her that you would be all right. She'll see you after I leave anyhow, correct?"

"That's true, but-"

"To tell the truth, I remember much of the past you told me of…. but I see the worth in your eyes."

"Eyes? I'm only worth this because I was searching for Uotani." To tell the truth, I really didn't want to be this way, I kept hoping that if I kept helping others…

"You have to mature some time, you know."

"What would you know about growing up?"

"You made me grow up, you know. I still see that you're stuck there somewhere…somewhere to where you saved Uotani." He knew about my effort to save Uotani and the whole Honda family chance meeting. "I'll be back sometime next month…Tsukiko…don't let someone get you that doesn't deserve you. I love you Tsukiko, but I'm willing to wait until you're ready to admit your feelings." He embraced me softly tightening it over time, as if to imprint himself into my memory. With my breath catching in my thoat I couldn't move. He let go of my body, offering a hand up as he opened the door. I vaguely heard the entrance to my apartment shut, and I looked at the table. It was the same as I had left it as I…

"Tsukiko-chan, please."

"Uotani-san…do you really need to know? My past with Toki isn't…important…"

"Yes it is! Sen-I mean Tsukiko-chan. Let's eat and talk about it!" She was desperate; If I wasn't so afraid of disappointing her I would have told her that I couldn't...she would have to know some way or another. If I don't tell her she may end up asking Toki, and I wouldn't want her to find out through him…

"Okay, I met Toki in an alleyway after a few months of starting college. He was a drug addict back then, so I attempted to help him. The only way I could help him was if he was cold Turkey, and this was a hard process for me."

"Senpai…you shouldn't have had to help him."

"He reminded me of myself, so I began to help him. Over time, he began to resist, but I had to keep him in check at times. I…suppose you heard about the time of the almost…"

"Senpai! Yes I did!" Uotani's emotions were showing and I knew she would have hit Toki...why she let us have that calming conversation...I'm not so sure.

"Stop calling me Senpai…please."

"I'm sorry Tsukiko-chan."

"Well, he eventually became a doctor, and when he was still an intern at a hospital…the dizzy spells started. He was the person who told me what I had, and he's also the only person I…" I couldn't say the next few words, I trusted Toki more than anything, more than Akina could understand. "I trust him more than anything in this world." Everyone else, who had been eating the cold eggs with spices, also known as ginger eggs, stopped eating.

"So it's a love hate relationship." The voice was monotone, and it had to be the work of this…is her name Saki? I think it is.

"No…it's not like that."

"You two were certainly getting very close in that room."

"It's…not like that."

"You're still hiding something."

"I'm not…. I'm not…" She could penetrate me, and I couldn't help but feel nervous around her presence. "Yasu-san, this isn't something to live with. If you are so afraid to fall in love, people will keep coming." I nodded so, and then as if they knew they had overstayed their welcome for now, they said goodbye. Uotani gave me a hug, but Tohru Honda stayed back for a moment.

"Yasu-san, would you like me to cook more Miso soup for you?"

"Uhh…Honda-san, that's not necessary."

"Well, I'm going to make some. I've never seen you smile so much than when you were around Uotani and Miso soup." Then she left; just like that…I knew she knew the secret. 'I guess I better finish my food and wash the dishes before they get cold.'

TBC…