Chapter Four
Derek sat in his trailer, staring at his hands. His mind was full, as he contemplated everything that was happening.
He was alone, Addison having not returned from the hospital for the day. He felt relieved, and guilty, as he had put off the inevitable confrontation with her for a day now.

His head throbbed. How on earth do I tell her? 'Honey, I know you're happy, but I want a divorce?' "Hey, babe, instead of cuddling in bed, you wanna sign these divorce papers?'

No matter what, it was going to be hard to do this to her. He hadn't lied when he told Meredith he no longer loved his wife, but she had been his family.

There were a lot of memories, a huge chunk of his past that he was about to rip out.
But it was not enough. His future, the future he wanted, wasn't with Addison. It couldn't be, no matter how strong the ties of marriage were.

His future, his only future, was Meredith.

Meredith.

He smiled as her face filled his mind. He couldn't quite place why he loved her so much. It was her tiny, ineffectual fists, the smell of her hair, her bossiness- and so much more.

It was the way she laid her heart out for him, and still tried to be friends with him after he had destroyed it.

It was the funny lop-sided grin she gave him every morning.

It was the way she collapsed when it all got too much, and let him comfort her, in a supply closet.

It was the way she did all that, and still made him feel so special when she spoke to him.

Like he was the only other person in the world, and she was happy to be there with him.

It was those thoughts that steeled his mind as he heard Addison pull up outside the trailer.

Tonight. This was it. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. Then he opened them, and turned to face Addison as she walked in the door.

"We need to talk"

"Wait! Hold the door!" Meredith cried, racing towards the elevators. A hand reached out and stopped the doors, just as she reached them.

"Thanks" She said, jumping in. It was only then that she realised she was alone with Derek and Addison.

The tall red head looked tired, and her eyes were red. She stood stiffly, ignoring both the intern and her husband.

Derek looked just as tired, but his eyes were clear and filled with something like peace. He smiled gently at Meredith.

She smiled back, but stayed just as silent. As if by decree, they did not speak, until Addison got off on her floor.
The woman looked back and the doors were closing, her eyes filling once more with tears, but she nodded to Meredith.

It was more than Meredith had expected. Like her blessing- well, not blessing, but her acceptance and acknowledgment of fate.

Meredith nodded back, feeling a rush of sadness that she not anticipate. She felt for this woman, her 'enemy', even as she realised she had 'won'.

"She's just like me", she thought. "In love, and unable to do anything about it."

Derek stayed silent as the elevator continued up. He did look at Meredith, though, a smile tugging at his mouth.
She looked back, "What's so funny?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. Everything. This is a new day."

"I gather- you told her?"
"Yes. It was- odd. I felt calm. I think I accepted this a while ago, and did all my grieving then. She hasn't." He added quietly.

Meredith nodded. She stayed quiet.

"So... six more days of freedom. How you feeling?"

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Six days of freedom? What?"

Derek smiled. "Til you pick me. Then there's no escaping me- you'll be trapped."

Meredith smiled, then tried to hide it. "How very stalker-ish. Are you going to lock me in your basement and make me put on moisturiser so you dont have to use the hose?"

Derek stared blankly, then laughed. "Oh- Silence of the Lambs. Very funny." He said dryly.

Meredith grinned. "I try.' Then she remembered she was trying to stay rationale, and not chose him, at least til he proved his worth- his love.

She frowned at him. 'I'm not talking to you."

"Since when? Why?"

"Since now- and because I have to. I mean I have to not. Or do. I- damnit. What am I saying?"

Derek chuckled. "By the way, I have my rough draft of my speech. You wanna read it?"

"No! And I really am not talking to you. Go away."

He looked around the small steel box. "Ah- where?"

Meredith growled. "Just- just be quiet. I'm keeping a distance. Drawing a line."

He grinned. "Oh, I remember this. I like this. I keep a marker in my pocket for more moments like this."
Meredith glared at him, then sighed with relief as the doors opened.

She fled, partly because of Derek, and his damn McDreamy grin, and partly because she was running late.
"I'll give you that marker later, then, hey?" She heard him call.