Title: Everything I'm Not
Rating: M for graphic violence.
Summary: Post HBP. Draco has failed in his mission and his life is forfeit, so he goes the one place no one will look for him; Harry's. Here he sees that life is not as he expected for The-Boy-Who-Lived, and when things go to far he steps in to save the boy he once thought was his enemy.
Warnings: This fan fiction includes: slash, m/m, Harry/Draco, abuse, graphic violence, non-consensual incest, and mild pedophilia. There will be some very dark stuff here. If you don't like the above, or cannot stomach them please do not read. This is, simply, your last warning. All flames and hate-mail/reviews will be promptly ignored. Thank you very much.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is © J. K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic Books, Bloomsbury Books, and all other entities involved in the Potterverse. The situations in which the characters find themselves, and the plot of this piece of fan fiction is solely the work of my twisted, slash infected mind. No money is being made and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue me. I'm merely playing in JKR's world.
A/N: Sorry everyone, but this chapter is shorter than the others. But it's here, that counts for something, right? I still don't have a beta, so if you do happen to find any errors feel free to let me know so I can fix them. In the mean time... enjoy!
Chapter Six: Dreams and Visions
He was back in that cupboard again. Without opening his eyes he could tell. The air still tasted the same, moldy and stale, with a hint of rotten eggs. He could feel phantom whispers of spiders and other bugs clambering over his skin and he suppressed a shudder of revulsion as he inched towards the door, pressing his ear against the unpainted wood, careful of slivers. It took a while, but the faint mumbling noise from the other side started to make sense, and Harry whimpered slightly, eyes seeking out some space to hide, even though he knew there was no where. Not again, please, not again he thought to himself as he pressed his back into the corner. The whimper became a sob as the handle of the door turned and opened, revealing his uncle. Harry dropped to his knees, his eyes lowered to the ground all his pleas leaving him in a rush as he relaxed slightly, not wanting to anger the man.
"Well, freak, it seems there just might be some use to you yet." Smirking, his uncle stepped back and Harry's head whipped up as he watched another man walk into the closet, his hand already unfastening his trousers and pulling out a semi-hard cock, stroking it a few times in Harry's direction. Whimpering Harry crawled over, mouth opening slightly in invitation. Somehow, Harry knew this wasn't the first time his uncle sold his mouth, just as he knew it wasn't the last time either. All of the times blended together to merge into this… The man in front of him just continued to fuck his mouth in slow, steady strokes before finally releasing into Harry's throat.
A hand cupped Harry's chin and forced him to look up, and he jerked back when he saw Draco Malfoy's cold eyes and smirk on him. "You're just a slut, Potter. You're no good for anything else. At least this way no one will die." His voice softened slightly in mock sympathy, but the chill remained in his eyes and Harry felt a phantom pain lance through his chest.
Harry pulled away, clinging to the walls of his corner. "No. No, no, no, no... This isn't happening; this is just a dream..."
"I assure you, Mr. Potter, this is no dream." When Harry looked Draco had been replaced by Voldemort and he swallowed back the scream and shook his head.
"No! Get out of my bloody head, Tom!" Harry doubled over, hands pressed to his head as he tried his best to fight out of the dream. Ignoring the man in front of him, Harry started working on shields, and on throwing the Dark Lord out of his mind. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I know better than to sleep without my blasted shields up!
Groaning, he woke up instantly when he felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him. "Harry? Potter, are you alright?" His eyes flickered open and rested on the blond man sitting on the bed next to him before nodding slightly and letting his eyes drop, remembering his dream.
"I'm fine, Malfoy." Twisting his shoulders out of his grasp Harry rolled over on the bed, his eyes closed. "I'm sorry I woke you. It shouldn't happen again." Ignoring the snort Harry sighed softly, waiting to feel the weight lift off the bed, and was surprised when instead of leaving Draco laid down next to him.
Silence filled the room, and Harry could hear the slow, even breathing from Draco as he settled in for the night. Slowly he allowed himself to relax and was startled when the silence was interrupted. "What was this one about?" Blinking, Harry rolled over his eyes meeting Draco's.
"Merlin, you really were there the entire time weren't you?" He paused a moment, then looked at Draco, a question in his eyes. "After that first night my uncle never heard me scream again. That was that your doing, wasn't it?" At Draco's nod, Harry gave him a tight smile. "I suppose I should thank you then. Anyway, it wasn't important, my dream tonight that is. In a way it's a relief to only have a nightmare instead of those bloody visions." His lips circled in a smile that didn't reach his eyes, and Draco sighed softly.
How can Potter's eyes be so flat and dead? They're supposed to be full of fire, and passion, not... broken. Shaking his head slightly, Draco moved as though to run his fingers over Harry's cheek but stopped at the last minute. I swear, I will return the life to your eyes. "Get some sleep, Potter. Snape's an early riser and will want to ask more in the morning." I'll watch over your sleep... Draco watched as Harry's eyes slipped close and his breathing evened into that of sleep, a small smile curving his lips. Giving in to temptation Draco brushed his fingers over the other boy's cheek and leaned forward to gently kiss his lips once more as Harry slept on.
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Morning brought with it the gentle scent of an herb garden, overlaid by the scent of breakfast being cooked. When Harry opened his eyes he took a moment to become adjusted to the room he was in. Midnight blue silk sheets adorned the large four-poster cherry wood bed, and Harry took the time to luxuriate in the gentle comfort of waking in a place where he felt safe. On the pillow beside him he could still smell Draco, and he smiled as he stretched before turning to slide out of bed. As he tried to stand, his vision darkened and he swayed, a whimper escaping his lips. Merlin, that hurts! Groaning, he sank back to the bed and closed his eyes. Maybe I could just go back to sleep, and when I wake up this will all have been a bad dream... The sound of footsteps making their way towards the bed, and the scent of breakfast quickly dissuaded Harry of that notion, and sighing he opened his eyes.
Severus set a tray down on the bed next to Harry, and handed him a potion. "There was too much damage for neither Draco nor I to fully heal you. As we are still being pursued we were unable to ascertain assistance from a more reliable source and have had to make do with the spells and potions on hand. Unfortunately, that means that a good deal of your healing will have to be done the muggle way." His mouth twisted with disgust and he gestured at the food. "I suggest that you eat, Potter, and then make yourself presentable. I believe we have a great deal to discuss."
Harry threw back the potion, grimacing at the taste as he nodded. "Yes, Sir." He spooned the eggs into his mouth, eating slowly, savouring each bite. His eyes never once left the tray of food, however, as though he was afraid that someone would try to take it away from him. The footsteps of the professor faded from the room and Harry allowed himself to eat faster. Merlin, but it was good to eat a decent meal, and one he hadn't been forced to cook himself either. When he had finished about half of what was on the plate he found he was too full to eat anymore, and so he carefully slid out of the bed. He looked around the room for some clothing, but was unable to find his own. There was an outfit laid out on the chair in the corner of the room that appeared to be in his size, if a little too tall, but was of obvious quality, and Harry grimaced. Must be Malfoy's... Sighing, he pulled on the clothes, and shook his head, a rueful smile lighting his face. Trust Malfoy to own silk boxers…
When Harry was fully clothed he stepped out of the room, carrying the tray towards where he could hear the other two talking. Luckily, he found them in the kitchen and he set his tray on the counter before looking for a place to sit, his body already throbbing from the short walk. Draco, noticing the hidden pain, pulled out a chair and nodded. "Sit, Potter. You look as though you're about to keel over. And dare I say it, but the clothing actually suits you. Much better than the clothing that looked as though it would fit that elephant of a cousin of yours." A slight grimace crossed Harry's face as he succumbed to the need to collapse, and settled onto the seat instead.
"Not that I don't appreciate this Malfoy, but I need to know. Why? You bloody well hate me. I can understand Snape helping me, but why are you helping me?" A look of consternation passed over Draco's face momentarily before it was masked behind the facade of aloofness. If Harry didn't know any better he would have said that Draco didn't hate him, based on that one look alone. Maybe even that Draco had been harbouring some fort of feelings for him. Frowning slightly, Harry made a note to think that over at a later point and instead waited for an answer from the blond.
Draco arched a perfect eyebrow and looked almost amused as he watched Harry. "Why? Because, Potter, I would rather follow you than that snake. At least you haven't seen fit to threaten the families of those who are following you." Harry visibly paled as he recalled one of the recent visions, but without knowing for certain he wasn't about to reveal what he knew, or at least suspected to be the case with the young mans parents. He did, however, resolve to speak with Snape at length regarding the situation with the Malfoy's. Draco continued on, "besides, I can't go back to Voldemort, which leaves me with you. You are the bloody saviour after all." Seeing Harry's nod he smirked. "And after everything I've heard so far this summer I get the feeling that sticking with you won't be quite the... hardship I had imagined."
Blushing, Harry ducked his head. "Cripes, I'd forgotten that you would have heard a lot. I guess I can't hope that you might have been giving me some privacy when I was... drinking?" Both boys knew he meant the conversations Harry had been having to his godfather, and the red grew brighter as the silence filled the air. Struggling to remember what all he had confessed to, Harry closed his eyes, sighing softly. What does it matter anyway? What Malfoy knows, he knows. At least he hadn't told everything... there were some things he hadn't even been able tell a dead man. Shaking his head, Harry tried to clear his mind of the dream from the night past and instead met Snape's eyes across the table.
"You said we needed to speak, Sir, and I happen to agree with you. However, I have to state that I don't feel perfectly safe here. You'll have to forgive me, but this doesn't appear to be a safe place for me to hide." He paused a moment, looking over at the blond. "Nor does it appear to be a safe place for Malfoy either." He chewed on his lower lip, thinking. There had to be someplace where they could go where they would be safe, but he wasn't sure. There was always Grimm—
"Grimmauld Place would be adequately safe for the two of you. With Dumbledore's passing the Fidelius charm should have transferred over to the owner, in this case you. There should be no issue with you letting Draco know its location and you can floo over immediately." Snape sneered at the raven haired youth. "And I would suggest you do so as the Dark Lord can call upon me at any time. However, you will need to select a new secret keeper at some point in the near future if you intend to be remaining in residence. You will not be coming back here, so make certain you have your belongings gathered and are out within the hour."
Pivoting on his heel, black robes furled around the professor as he stalked out of the kitchen, leaving the two youths alone together. Harry surveyed Draco as the blond finished drinking his tea. "At this time I'm taking Snape's word that you can be trusted, Merlin only knows why. However since we will be in my house I imagine I'll be safe enough." Wandlessly accio'ing a piece of parchment, quill, and ink he jotted down the address and passed it across the table to Draco. Harry was so busy concentrating on the writing that he never noticed the look of awe that crossed over Draco's face at the display of power. "Memorize that address, and then burn it. I will not take chances with my life Malfoy, or with the lives of my friends."
When Harry looked up Draco's face had returned to its usual mask of indifference. Harry struggled to his feet and left the room, following after Snape. "Sir, might I have a word with you?" After a gesture from Snape, Harry followed him into what appeared to be a private study. The walls were paneled in a dark wood, lined with book shelves that were over filled with books. A few books held titles that were obviously on potions, with others regarding the Dark Arts. It appeared that the professor had a love of learning, even if he hadn't been the best of teachers.
Severus turned and sat down in one of the plush, if a little threadbare, looking arm chairs, gesturing towards the one across from him. "Have a seat, Potter. What, pray tell, is this about?"
"No, thank you. I'm afraid if I sat down I may not be able to stand. As you're aware I never fully mastered my Occlumency… I feel it prudent to advise you that I had a vision of the last meeting. I haven't said anything yet, but…" Harry shoved his hand through his hair, sighing softly. "Malfoy deserves to know from someone he cares about." At Snape's nod Harry turned to the door. "I believe I'll get my belongings together." He stepped out of the room, heading towards the guest bedroom, not once noticing the blond man who had been eavesdropping.
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Draco slid back into the shadows, his brow furrowed. What did he deserve to know? And what was it that Harry had meant by having a vision of the last meeting? A Death Eater meeting, perhaps? Frowning, he was lost in thought until Harry had left the hallway and he pushed into the study. "Well, Sev, what's going on?"
Severus frowned slightly, but that was the only indication of his reluctance to continue. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
"It's not bloody nothing! I heard Potter. What the hell is it that's going on? What is he so bloody worried about me, a bloke he hates, knowing about?" Draco snapped, stalking across the room, hands gesturing wildly. Stopping suddenly, Draco visibly paled. A death eater meeting, something he should hear from someone he cared about… "Oh Merlin, no…" His voice cracked and he sank into the chair that Severus had just offered to Harry moments before, and looked up at his mentor, tears shimmering in grey eyes.
Severus pulled the boy into his arms and hugged him for a moment. "I'm sorry Draco. The Dark Lord was angered, and your parents refused to help him find you. Your mother said she was proud of you, do you understand? She was proud of you for defying our Lord. You were safe, and she was happier knowing that than surviving." Tears rolled down the boys alabaster cheeks and dampened the older mans robes. The two were still embracing; Draco crying silently, when Harry returned to the room, with both his bag and Draco's thrown over his shoulder.
Severus and Harry looked at each other and nodded. "Alright, Malfoy, we've got to go. I doubt that Snape's wards will prevent Voldemort from finding us here. At least at my place there's only a few people who will be able to find it." When Draco got to his feet Harry turned to his former professor. "Sir, thank you. Stay in touch, and I'll try and clear things with the Order."
The two boys made their way to the fireplace and Draco flood over first. When Harry stepped out of the fireplace on the other end he was greeted with the sight of Draco stunned and tied in conjured ropes, surrounded by the Weasleys.