Chapter 26
Hermione did not see Severus again until after dark on the following day. She'd occupied herself by reading Watership Down from start to finish, though she hadn't been able to keep her mnd entirely on the novel. She was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and plate of grilled chicken when Severus returned to his rooms.
"I made some supper for you. Will you come sit down?"
Severus approached her as she rose to get his food.
"I was thinking while you were gone," Hermione told him.
"Of course you were," Severus said as he sat down.
"I think there may be a way to kill Voldemort without killing Fawkes first."
Severus gave her a pointed look.
"We've been through this aleady."
"Yes, but listen. I'm here right now because Voldemort doesn't want Harry to destroy his Horcruxes. Certainly he must fear their destruction for a reason. What if–"
"Stop Hermione and listen to me. With his Horcruxes intact Voldemort is immortal. If all of them were destroyed, yes, he would be mortal but he would be no less powerful. It has nothing to do with power and everything to do with longevity. In his present state Voldemort will live indefinitely. With his Horcruxes destoryed, he'd live for another fifty or sixty years but he wouldn't be any weaker physically or magically than he is now. You can see that he'd rather live indefinitely."
"I understand and that makes sense, but I can't help thinking that if Dumbledore thought there was a way to defeat Voldemort without resorting to killing Fawkes, between the two of us we should be able to figure out what that alternative option is. It might be like finding a working solution for the anxiety I had. In the beginning you thought teaching me Shield Occlumency was the only way to alleviate my suffering. But then you thought of the Lover's Amulet and that proved to be a better solution than the Occlumency." Hermione told him. Severus noticed that her cheeks had colored slightly after she'd spoken her last sentence.
Better solution indeed.
"No, it's not like that at all." said Severus evenly, his eyes locking with hers as if he might have hoped that the weight of his stare would make her see he was right and she was wrong.
"How do you know that for sure, Severus?" Hermione asked with a touch of defiance.
Typical Gryffindor woman. Much too headstrong for your own good. You just don't know when to quit do you?
"I admit I made a mistake when I failed to specifically address the issue of Voldemort's Horcruxes last night. I didn't mean for you to get your hopes up for no reason," Severus said seriously.
Let that be the end of it.
"Severus. I know Dumbledore wouldn't lie about something that serious, or even give you information he knew might not be one hundred percent accurate. I didn't bring it up last night for fear you'd shut me out just as you're about to do this minute. But I'm telling you now that I truly think you're going about this all wrong."
"How dare you," said Severus softly. Both his expression and tone had turned suddenly cold. He instantly transformed into the hardened, dispassionate, unfeeling potions master that had sent so many Hogwarts students fleeing his presence in panicked terror. His next words were like shards of glass tearing through silk.
"You will not tell me what to do," He said clearly, a hint of something dark and dangerous in his voice.
Hermione wasn't frightened. She didn't even flinch. She met his gaze with cool, calm, composure.
"Don't tell you what to do? I'm sorry, but in this case, if telling you to seriously reconsider Dumbledore's words prevents you from making a grave and costly mistake, you'd better believe that that's exactly what I will do."
"Why you insolent bitch," said Severus. His tone was chilling and the look in his eyes was savage.
Hermione knew then that she'd gone a step too far. Had she been standing in front of him, she was certain that he would have hit her.
Hermione stared at Severus's face. Though she'd seriously angered him, she wasn't about to back down now. He thought she'd pushed too far. Well, she'd damn well push a bit farther.
A voice in the back of her head told her that she risked destroying whatever might have been between them, but she knew had no choice but to continue to try to make him see reason.
"Dammit Severus, Why can't you see the truth in what I'm saying?" she asked him, her tone rising.
"You know nothing, absolutely nothing of Dark Magic," he told her scathingly. "I will not have you lecture me on the subject."
He immediately stood up from the table and started to leave the room.
Without thought Hermione leapt up from her seat and ran after him, seizing hold of his wrist to make him stop and look at her.
Hermione's eyes were large, imploring him with every ounce of her being to hear her out. Severus pulled his wrist out of her tight grasp and glared at her.
"What do I have to say, Severus? Tell me, what words do you want to hear from me? What will move you to make sure that you protect yourself from losing what soul now remains in your body when you kill the phoenix? Severus, . . . please . . . I'm begging you. Don't continue down this path without first ensuring that you don't destroy yourself at the end. Please."
"And what would you have me do to prevent that from happening?" Severus asked her, his voice barely more than a whisper.
Hermione took hold of Severus's hands. This time he didn't pull away.
Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to fight her. She was like a forest maiden who was carefully taming a particularly dangerous wild animal.
"Let me find a protection spell for you," she told him softly.
Severus arched a brow.
"A protection spell? If you haven't already noticed Hermione, you aren't currently residing in Hogwarts' library. Just where, pray tell, do you intend to find the desired information on such a spell?"
"When you told me to pack a single bag of personal items I sort of cheated," she told him without preamble. She let go of his hands and stared at him solemnly.
"Cheated?" he repeated, waiting for her to elaborate.
"Instead of explaining it to you, I'll just show you." she said to him, before dashing away into his bedchamber.
Mildly intrigued, Severus waited for her to return, wondering what in the hell she'd meant. Hermione came back less than a minute later, holding something in her fist.
She turned her hand palm up and revealed the object she was holding.
There, in the center of her hand was a miniature wooden chest like one might expect to find inside a dollhouse.
Hermione looked up at Severus.
"Since I can't do magic here I haven't been able to return it to its normal size."
"What's inside of it?"
"Enlarge it and you'll find out."
Severus returned to the table where he had set his wand when he'd come in and Hermione followed him. She set the micro sized chest on the floor and stepped back, waiting for Severus to perform the spell that return it to its true size.
Severus murmured a quick spell and in the blink of an eye, a large rosewood chest appeared in front of him. Hermione knelt down and lifted its lid.
After reaching beneath various folded articles of clothing, Hermione withdrew three thick books. Turning toward Severus she held each one out for him to set on the table.
The titles were The Feminine Spirit: A Book of Women's Spells, The Art of Casting Counter Spells, and Healing Magic of Europe.
Hermione stood up and gave Severus a wry smile.
"I should have known that you're incapable of going anywhere for any length of time without bringing along a massive amount of reading material," he said drily, though his tone was not so condescending as it might have been.
"I think these three volumes are a rather good place to start, don't you?"
"I suppose they're as good a place as any other,"
"Good. Might you help me look through them?"
Though Severus privately thought there was next to no chance that the books Hermione had brought would provide them with anything even remotely useful, he decided that he had nothing to lose by looking through them.
He sat down and flipped to the index of The Art of Casting Counter-Spells.
Hermione sat down across from him, pulling The Feminine Spirit towards her.
Severus wasn't sure whether he wanted to throttle her senseless or kiss her. He'd long ago resolved himself to the task of doing whatever was necessary to send Voldemort straight to Hell. He knew that once he shot Fawkes, even if his soul was irrevocably damaged, the damage wouldn't fully take effect for hours if not days. Soul destruction was a slow agonizing process.
No matter what happened to him after the act was committed, he knew he'd be able to kill Voldemort.
And to him, up until now, that had been all that had mattered.
His desire for vengeance would not be denied. He would kill Voldemort. There was no question.
What happened after the creature who used to be Tom Marvolo Riddle died by his hand, he hadn't allowed himself to dwell on.
If Dumbledore's fears proved to be correct, and killing the phoenix caused his soul to corrupt beyond all recognition, the Order of the Phoenix would certainly destroy him before he lost his humanity entirely.
Just like a rabid dog.
He knew there was a risk that would happen, but he'd never let that stop him from pursuing his plan. He had known better than to hope that there'd be a way for him to definitely survive all of this unscathed.
And he'd thought on more than one occasion that perhaps he didn't want to survive it.
Now though, he hardly knew how to allow himself to believe that Hermione could possibly save the surviving half of his soul from destruction.
But as he glanced up from the pages of the book to look at her, he found that maybe, just maybe, he actually wanted to be saved.
Over the next couple of days Hermione spent all of her waking hours perusing her books, intent on finding an answer to the problem of protecting Severus from whatever dark forces might seek to destroy him. Severus read with her when he returned in the evenings.
By Saturday morning they'd amassed several sheets of parchment on findings that might possibly prove to be useful, but nothing stuck out as being particularly appropriate.
"We'll find something," Hermione told him before he left to attend the Order meeting.
"You should take a break,"
"I'm fine."
"I'll leave you to it then. I'll be back before nightfall."
Hermione watched him leave the suite.
She returned her gaze to her book, and began flipping through the pages with renewed determination. In his absence, Hermione put her hand on her crystal pendant. It was comfortingly warm against her skin.
She'd be damned if she came out empty handed in this.
The truth of the matter was that she cared about Severus too much to let him risk causing his own destruction.
She wouldn't let that happen.
She would find a suitable spell to protect him. She was sure of it.
For Hermione was a Gryffindor on a mission, fiercely determined and unwaveringly persistent. And on top of that she was the one and only Hermione Granger. She possessed an intellect that very few people could rival and her researching skills were something that was an innate part of her.
Sitting alone with three books, each nearly a thousand pages long, she was in her element.
Yes, she could definitely do this.
A/N: Another Order meeting full of conflict and tension coming up next:)