Chapter 29
Hermione retrieved a fourth book from the very bottom of the rosewood chest.
"Come sit with me and look at this," she told Severus while she opened the book and began to scan its table of contents page. Severus followed after Hermione to take a seat next to her at the table.
"Might I ask the title of what you're looking at?" Severus asked, when Hermione made no move to either speak further or show him what exactly she was reading.
Hermione looked up and gave him a genuine smile. She then pushed the book over so that it was between the two of them and closed it so Severus could read the cover.
Amor Veritas: When Two Souls Become One
"Hermione, look I don't"– Severus began but was abruptly cut off by the determined Gryffindor witch next to him.
"Shut up and let me read," she said without thought, turning to a chapter she'd deemed to be particularly suitable.
Severus checked himself from snapping at her to look for something a little less . . . lasting . . . and certainly less irrevocable. And Severus knew as well as anyone that pretty much all bonding spells cast in the name of love lasted for life and the uniting magical bond created between the two people involved was unbreakable unless of course one of the parties happened to die suddenly.
Given what had gone on between Lily and him, he was through personal experience, quite the expert on what could happen when a soul bond was unintentionally severed.
If Hermione bonded the entirety of her soul to what was left of his and something were to happen to him in the moments following Voldemort's demise, namely Bellatrix somehow getting a killing curse past his defenses, Hermione would suffer for the rest of her life.
He slowly blew out a deep breath and hoped he'd have the patience to steer Hermione in a more appropriate direction without setting fire to that iron-willed obstinacy she had such a tendency to exhibit.
"Oh Severus, I should have thought of this days ago. But it doesn't matter now, for it's just become all so clear . . ." She met his gaze and in her eyes the very heart of her soul was laid bare to his view.
"Please, read this page," she told him, pointing with her hand and pushing the book further in front of him.
Severus inwardly recoiled. He could all too well guess what it was that Hermione had found. When he looked down and read the words on the page before him, it took every ounce of his willpower not to let the single syllable that was on his lips escape, no.
Gods no.
Yes, he'd wanted Hermione's feelings for him to help play a role in creating a spell of protection. He'd hoped that the Feminine Spirit would have yielded an appropriate choice, something similar to the spells cast by a man's lover before he went to a duel. Something that would cease to exist the instant the victory in battle had been achieved.
All his imaginings had involved something powerful yet relatively small. Perhaps some sort of charm worked over the heart. He knew that was a common way of preventing evil from taking over a soul. It created a magical barrier, a wall of sorts, around the soul to keep malevolent forces at a safe distance.
Why in the names of all the gods could he not do something of that nature?
Did killing a phoenix really create that much more of an impact on the purity of one's soul?
Apparently it did.
Which would make sense for a protection spell against a force of such persistent soul corruption to need to be as deep rooted and powerful as the one listed on the page he was now looking at.
He read the page in its entirety and made no move to reply, knowing that Hermione fully expected him to say something.
Deep inside of him, something shattered.
What a fool he'd been to actually believe,–nay hope– that there'd be a way for him to come out of this last ordeal unscathed.
Damned Gryffindor witch!
If it hadn't been for her, he would never have mistakenly allowed himself to entertain the possibility of surviving his upcoming task.
Severus let out a soft, derisive snort. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that the sound had earned him a strange look from Hermione.
You should have known that it would be impossible for Fate to grant you more good fortune than you deserve. And you deserve nothing. Certainly no more than the next man, for what have you done that might set you apart?
Devote your life to serving Albus Dumbledore's precious cause?
You had the free will to refuse.
Severus swallowed, his gaze still averted from Hermione's eyes.
You knew the consequences, knew there was a very good chance you'd have to give your life in exchange for the one opportunity to kill Voldemort.
And you accepted it without complaint.
Until she rekindled that ridiculous spark of hope.
Gods, I truly am a fool.
I actually let her work her feminine wiles and weaken my resolve.
He wanted to laugh, he really did, but could not bring himself to express the humor.
Why did I let her affect me so?
"Severus, you're so quiet . . ." Hermione said softly, gently laying a hand on his arm.
Severus fought back the urge to take her hand off of him.
He made no move to reply, forcing himself to refrain from shouting at her that she was too much of a bloody optimist and sometimes no matter what, you couldn't get the happy ending you wished for.
There were a thousand and one reasons why he shouldn't-couldn't-bond his soul with Hermione's.
He'd made peace, before he'd been forced to share quarters with Hermione Granger- with the fact that he'd most likely die shortly after he killed Fawkes and Voldemort.
He told himself that it wouldn't be too hard to make peace with that fact again.
And yet, for a short time he'd foolishly thought that he'd actually have a future.
But now he knew that had been too much to ask.
The worst thing was, that as he thought about it all, a part of him, albeit a very small one, actually brightened at the idea of sharing souls with Hermione.
He inwardly tensed at the thought.
As he processed what was going through his mind he chalked up that particular desire to the fact that his subconscious mind just wanted to have sex with Hermione a second time and that was the only reason his brain had told him that a soul bond with her might be quite appealing.
But as he sat in silence, he realized that initial conclusion was incorrect.
It hadn't taken much inward reflection for him to realize that he'd developed some sort of true affection for the girl.
Yes, that strange and foreign tight feeling in his chest was proof that he actually cared for her, cared for her deeply.
He remembered the feeling from what seemed like a lifetime ago when he'd been bonded with Lily.
Gods, it was going to crush him to tell her that he could not bond his soul with hers.
"Hermione"- he began weakly. He turned and held her gaze resolutely.
He hadn't realized how close she really was to him.
He was unable to get another word out for Hermione chose that exact second to silence him with a kiss. Her lips were gentle and pliantagainst his, urging him to respond.
And despite all the reasons his mind was giving him to pull away to push Hermione from him and tell her that they could not do what they were doing, despite all the protests running through his brain, Severus deepened her kiss.
He could not stop himself.
The taste of her was his undoing.
He did nothing to prevent her from slowly climbing into his lap to straddle him.
By that point he'd told the logical, over-analytical side of his brain to shut up.
And through her actions, it was not just her body she was offering him, but her heart.
For the first time since Lily's death, the deepest regions of Severus's heart stirred with life.
It was in that moment, in the truest kiss he'd ever known, that Severus Snape had his answer.
How could he give up what this young woman was offering him?
He'd been mere seconds from throwing it all away. He'd been so perilously close to choosing death instead of a lifetime with Hermione.
He'd been so close to ignoring what was in his heart.
If Hermione hadn't chosen that precise moment to express her deepest feelings for him, he would have forced her away from him, the realization only made him pour his true emotions into his kisses.
Even what he'd briefly shared with Lily could not hold a candle to the pure heartfelt passion that burned within him as he kissed Hermione.
Yes Hermione. Yes I do love you. If only you knew how close I came to losing this forever.
When their kisses drove them apart for oxygen Hermione sat back on her haunches and brought her right hand up to rub at the corners of her eyes.
The kiss had moved her to tears. She laughed as she wiped the moisture from her eyes.
And as she stared into the dark eyes of her former professor, she was surprised to see that he too had a single tear glistening on his cheek.
"Does this mean you'll bond your soul with mine?" she asked, though her heart already knew the answer.
Severus's lips turned up into a genuine smile, the first truly genuine smile Hermione had ever seen on his face.
He really was quite devastatingly handsome when he smiled.
She smiled back, knowing that he was hers forever.
"Yes Hermione. We shall unite our souls together."
A/N: Sorry about the short chapter, but I've had almost no time to write these past few days and family is visiting this week. I decided to split the chapter into two parts, the next part will focus on Remus and Severus, Harry will actually make an appearance as well. The chapter after that will be all Severus and Hermione. I was going to add a nice lemon to this, but I thought it was better to post what I had now instead of making you all wait another eight or nine days. And I rather like how it turned out.