The Shortest Short Stories Ever: What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?

By Spectra16

A/N: As you may have noticed, I my favorite HP book so far is Prisoner of Azkaban. So yeah, that's why the setting is usually in that book. I like how Harry is perfectly normal in the 4th book, and then in the fifth, he's a whiny little knigget and emo. And then I heard he becomes perfectly normal in the 6th book. Something about him getting used to death.

Disclaimer: Go to google video and look for Harry Potter. There will be two results. Go to the one that ISN'T the Snape cookie one. It's so sad/hilarious!

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Chapter Twelve: What Would Sir Cardogan Do For A Klondike Bar?

Harry, Ron, and Hermione trudged up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. Ever since the Sirius Black scare, the Fat Lady had been replaced with an arrogant picture of a knight, Sir Cardogan. He changed the password as often as a hacker in the 90s and liked to stall whilst students were boiling in anger. As a very vindictive man who never got much action on the battle field (or, the less likely, anywhere else), the students understood his need for the annoyances of others.

Ron and Harry starred up at Cardogan, while Hermione was busy scratching her face and neck.

"Password?" Sir Cardogan boomed. Harry clenched his jaw, knowing what kind of idiocy was coming.

"Fred Freddy Frederick Frederickson the Fourth is an inspirational postman in Ireland. He started working in 2001, going door to door," Harry continued with his story about Fred Freddy Frederick Frederickson the Fourth, while Sir Cardogan had made the speech the password. Neville found this most annoying, and had resorted to writing the whole thing down on parchment. Ron tapped his foot.

"And then the troll was defeated and all of the villagers were jovial. The end," Harry Potter shrugged. Sir Cardogan scratched his chin. Ron could sense Sir Cardogan deciding that he hadn't told the story enthusiastically enough.

"You may pass," Sir Cardogan opened. Harry, Ron, and Hermione's jaws dropped.

"What? You're just going to let us in?" Ron asked.

"For a Klondike bar, yes," Sir Cardogan fixed his posture and grinned, even though his helmet was in the way, and no one could tell.