The Shortest Short Stories Ever: What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?

By Spectra16

A/N: If any of your were wondering, yes, I am insane. But my insanity has been worse, no doubt. I'm running out of inspiration again. Help! I can't keep up this mad escapade!

I have another Harry Potter story out now. I'm quite proud of it. It's a Lemony Snicket/ Artemis Fowl/ Harry Potter fic. The stories fit in quite well together. It needs some tweaking, but I love it already. Sorry, I have to do a little advertising. It's not really funny though. Kinda angst. But no obvious slash, in case you're sick of Draco/Artemis (I know I am!).

WARNING: Not a big Umbridge fan, and I haven't read the whole 5th book yet.

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Chapter Fourteen: What Would Professor Umbridge Do For A Klondike Bar?

Harry walked to his 72nd detention, issued by Professor Umbridge, the pleasant yet demonic Dark Arts teacher, who apparently figured magic wasn't required to battle the Dark Lord. (Potter Puppet Pals proved this possible. Except not everyone can afford Uzies.) She looked up at Harry as he walked in the classroom, her pleasant smile was as sadistic as she was. Try as she may, her sugar coating the punishment wasn't helping at all. In fact, it almost seemed like she was rubbing it in his face.

Harry sat down with Umbridge's quill in hand. She quickly grabbed it away from him. He looked up, curious to her actions.

"Why are you using my sadistic-psycho-bitch quill? Here! Have a muffin!" She handed him a lemon poppy seed muffin. He quirked an eyebrow.

"Did you poison this?" Harry asked, half-sarcastically. She shook her head with a beaming smile on her face. He gingerly took a bite and didn't die.

"Since you've been such a nice boy, would you like to go outside and play with your friends?" She asked in a mother-like tone. Harry nodded, seriously confused.

"Out you go then!" She said musically. Harry walked slowly to the door and then turned around and murmured in a quiet voice.

"Why?" He asked, emo like.

"Let's just say, I'd be nice to even you for a Klondike bar," She never stopped smiling. Harry ran for his dear life to Quidditch practice. Professor Umbridge danced a bit before returning to her desk, awaiting the Klondike bar.