Disclaimer: I am by no means the owner of said characters.
Characters: Zelos (ToS), Stahn (ToD), Mint (ToP), Judas (ToDII) and Moses (ToL). (A crossoveraplooza!)
Notes: Based on a session of Oregon Trail in which I named my characters after the aforementioned ones. While I took some artistic liberty, because I honestly did not want to write about dysentery/cholera (or the implied necrophilia that my friend mentioned!). This is supposed to be weird, and amusing.
Warnings: Anal Sex, M/M, Alcohol, and mentions of Cholera.
Moses slammed down the bottle of whiskey on the rotting table, leaned back against the flimsy chair. The small house was a ways off the Oregon Trail, but Stahn had Cholera, and Mint was tending to a broken arm. Instead of pushing forward, or camping at the side of the road, they took a much needed "vacation." Luckily, the leader, Zelos, knew of a small place that was long abandoned. A Indian told him how to get there, with the promise of some clothing.
"God, Goddammit!" Moses swore, "We're stuck in the middle of nowhere. I can't take this any longer. How much longer until we get to ... Oregon or whateverthehell."
"I wish you wouldn't be so loud, Moses," Judas commented.
"Who would I wake up anyways? Mint's awake, sewing some sock or something. A grizzly couldn't wake Stahn at this hour, and Zelos is out huntin'," Moses slurred, his statements mostly untrue in the first place. He stood up, and took the bottle of whiskey and took another drink.
"Hand the bottle over here," Judas reached for the bottle.
"Since when did you drink," Moses nearly tripped over his own feet, protecting his precious bottle of Whiskey from the smaller man. Judas, on the other hand, still being sober was able to grab the bottle when Moses was distracted by a pop from the fireplace.
Judas took a small sip, as he knew he was a lightweight, "Since when did you care about what I did?"
"Since, since, um," Moses sat back down in the chair, "we started on this trek?"
Judas snorted. He felt a little queasy and passed the whiskey back towards Moses. Moses took one last swig and stood up, to leave to the next room. He paused, and looked back at Judas.
"Why do you wear that stupid mask, it does a piss-poor job of hiding your face, yaknow?"
"Because--I don't need to tell i you /i why," Judas cast a glare. Moses finished off the bottle of whiskey, and threw the bottle on the ground. Mint was going to chastise him for that in the morning, but he did not care. He finally made his way to the first floor bedroom, which Zelos decided where Judas and Moses would sleep. Moses, of course, tried his best to get Mint to sleep with him, but she insisted that with a broken arm she would like to sleep in her own bed. Zelos and Stahn ended up sharing the upstairs bedroom, while Mint got the loft. The small house only had the three worn beds. It was either the floor, or to sleep uncomfortably close in the summer heat.
"I'm going to get ready to hit the sack," Moses almost ran into the door in his drunken state. Judas grunted in confirmation.
Judas looked at the bottle of Whiskey, Moses did not finish off all of it, there was still a reasonable amount of the pungent liquid left. Judas picked the bottle up apprehensively, still feeling the ill effects from his first smaller drink of the strong beverage. Judas looked left and right, swore, and downed the rest of the the bottle.
Moses looked up from where we was laying on the bed, naked. It did not matter much to the darker skinned man, who commonly went without a shirt. However, he was still wearing his eye-patch.
"Hot as hell, ain't it," Moses said, "want the floor or what Judas?" Judas did not answer. He then proceeded to undress.
"It must be bad for Mint in this weather, in a house full of men in this heat..." Judas said idly. Judas then lost his balance, and fell over onto his rear. Moses laughed, he got off the bed in what looked like the intention of helping Judas up. Instead, of just placing the thin man back on his shaky feet, Moses pressed Judas against the roughly hewn planks. Judas winced from the splinters along his spine, Moses then pulled him into a rough kiss. It took a second for Judas to register the act, and then shoved Moses off of him. Judas and Moses cursed in tandem.
"I don't think we're going to last that much longer," Moses grabbed Judas around the waist, who still had his trousers half off. Moses began to drag him towards the single bed, Judas looked apprehensive, "What? Why not have a little fun, there's not a good woman around here for miles."
"Fine," Judas took a deep breath, swallowing his pride, "Only if I get to top." Moses nodded, and reached for the skull mask that Judas was always wearing, Moses was met with a slap to the hand, "Don't be a hypocrite."
Judas reached, and pulled off Moses' eye-patch, tossing it aside causally. Then, he took off his own skull mask gently, and carefully set it down well away from the bed. Moses mumbled something about how it's unfair that his stuff gets treated so poorly. Moses reached down to remove the trousers from Judas' ankles, and Judas fell on his rear and blushed in embarrassment. After a few minutes of debate about chafing, and what could make it worse, the two began their drunken anal sex dance. The rhythm was not quite right, and Moses complained the entire way. It felt like an eternity to Judas, although he would not willingly admit that he enjoyed it.
XxX
"What is that noise? Are Moses and Judas fighting?" Mint asked innocently, hearing a myriad of both pleasurable moans and painful groans. By this time it was slowing down in frequency, and the ratio of one to the other was getting more and more distant.
"Should I go check on them? I wouldn't want one of my hunnies worried about the well being of those guys," Zelos said, getting up from beside Mint.
"Wait," Stahn said with a yawn, "It might not be good to get involved." Stahn dragged himself out of bed just long enough to get his dinner.
"Geez, I don't want one of them complaining about a i broken leg /i , we have enough trouble as it is!" Zelos massaged his temples.
"Stahn, you should go back to sleep," Mint said.
"You're sleeping on the floor, no ands, ifs, or butts," Zelos said, waving his arm and heading towards the room where Moses and Judas were.
"Zelos... don't be mean," Mint paused, "be careful."
Unbeknownst to Zelos, the two blonds followed him carefully, just in case something interesting happened.
XxX
"Puh-leeze, I can take care of myself," Zelos said, he opened the door seeing Moses and Judas in an uncomfortably tangled heap upon the bed. Zelos knew the subtle aromas, mixed with the smell of alcohol. Curiosity got the best of Zelos, and he walked towards the bed, stepping on a particularly creaky floorboard. That of which, woke Judas up, he gasped and went for his clothing draped over the foot of the bed. After grabbing his clothing, he fell flat on his face and swore, yet again. Zelos looked bewildered at the scene, wondering what he should think. This was also the worst possible time for the last remaining members of the party to walk in.
"And he calls me an idiot," Stahn said, before attempting to shoo Mint out of the room.
XxX
From then on, they decided that they should finish what they started. The next morning, they set out for Oregon. Nameless untold stories happened, and they never did make it to Oregon.