1Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is not mine. Pippin is not mine. Drat.

Chapter Five

"The Ringbearer is setting out on his quest for Mount Doom," Elrond announced.

"I thought we were goin' to Mordor!" Pippin objected.

"Mount Doom's in Mordor, Pip," Merry whispered.

"Oh."

"On you who go with him no oath nor bond is laid to go further than you will, though I sincerely hope at least one of you will decide to go all the way with him because it's quite likely he would start to make pleasant conversation with an Orc and accidentally mention your quest," Elrond sighed.

"I will not," Pippin said indignantly. "What's an Orc?"

Elrond fought to keep his temper -- and his laughter -- controlled. "Farewell," he managed to say. "Hold to your purpose, and may the blessings of Elves and Men and all free folk go with you."

"The Fellowship awaits the Ringbearer," Gandalf said, sounding quite ceremonious.

"What? I'm right here!" Pippin looked even more confused. Merry smiled but didn't say anything. Elrond sighed.

"Preciousss?" Gollum pleaded one more time, quite pitifully. Haldir was taking him back to the Elves of Mirkwood as soon as the Fellowship was a safe distance away, namely, when the Quest was completed.

"No," Haldir said firmly.

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" Gollum screamed. Pippin turned and ran out of Rivendell, covering his ears.

Legolas caught up to him first. "That's the wrong way, mellon nin," he said, not even out of breath. "Mordor's left. Come. The others are waiting for us."

"What's a melon nin?" Pippin asked. "I've heard of a melon pie and a melon plant, but what's a melon nin?"

Legolas groaned and led Pippin back to the rest of the Fellowship.

A few days later . . .

Gandalf was saying something about the Misty Mountains. Pippin wasn't paying any attention. He and Merry were trying to swordfight Boromir. Frodo and Sam were trying to fight Faramir. None of the Hobbits were winning.

"From there, our road turns East to Mordor," Gandalf said to no one in particular.

"Two, one, five," Boromir counted, trying to keep in time with the two Hobbits.

"Is that how they count in Gondor?" Aragorn whispered to Legolas. "Now I really don't want to be their king." Gimli was going on about some cousin of his and Gandalf was doing his best to keep a straight face. Everyone was content.

Then a couple -- okay, maybe more than a couple -- birds flew over and Gandalf announced that they needed to take the path of Carrot-Dress, or at least that's what Pippin thought he said until Legolas explained that Caradhras was Redhorn in Elvish.

"Oi, but Boromir's horn is brown and white," Pippin objected. Legolas sighed. Gandalf shrugged and started to lead them up the mountain.

"And that's how the Noldor, led by Feanor, came to Middle-Earth," Faramir finished after they'd gone too far for Pippin to care if the human carrying him was talking about Feanor or the Green Dragon. Faramir ruffled the young Hobbit's hair encouragingly and continued.

Boromir plugged one ear. His other hand was around Merry, half holding the Hobbit up. At last, seeing Gandalf was not going to have pity and stop anytime soon, he picked Merry up. Faramir had, by that time, reached Fingolfin's crossing into Middle-Earth and succeeded in lulling Pippin to sleep.

"You can stop now," Legolas invited, motioning at the sleeping Hobbit in Faramir's arms.

"Oh, all right," Faramir shrugged. "I just thought you might want to hear about --"

"Faramir, I know everything there is to know about Elven history, but hannon le, anyway." Faramir grinned and watched as Legolas effortlessly dashed to the head of the group.

"Gandalf, the Ringbearer is asleep," the Elf pointed out. "The sun's almost set. Shouldn't we stop for the night?"

"Just a little farther."

"Mithrandir, I know what you mean by a little. We should stop."

Gandalf glanced over his shoulder. The rest of the Fellowship was a half-mile behind, invisible in the twilight to all save Legolas. "Oh, very well; we can stop," Gandalf agreed reluctantly.

Legolas rushed back to the others with the news -- only a half-mile to go. Merry was all but asleep, and Frodo and Sam were starting to nod. "Will we get to eat when we stop?" Sam asked, yawning.

"Um . . . I can go ask Gandalf," Legolas suggested.

"We can wait until we get there," Aragorn said, placing Sam on Bill and scooping up Frodo. He was all too sick of the Elf showing off how fast he could run.

As it turned out, there was little to eat, but most of them were too tired, anyway. Gandalf spread out the blankets (A/N: They have them because I said so.) and the humans laid the sleeping and almost asleep Hobbits down.

Pippin awoke to a pile of snow in his face and the rest of the Fellowship arguing about whether they should run headlong into more snow, a dark underground city, or a land full of horses. Pippin closed his eyes and decided to let them fight it out.

Just then, Boromir announced that this "will be the death of the Hobbits." That woke Pippin up.

"What will?" he asked innocently.

"The snow," Faramir sighed.

"Let the Ringbearer decide," Gandalf said reluctantly.

It took Pippin a moment to realize the Wizard was referring to him. "Well," he said, thinking out loud, "I don't like the dark, and I don't want to freeze. Let's see some horses."

Muahahahaha. This is where I can make up my own plot from now on. Hahahahahahaha.

Pippinsgal11011890–'New age Mithrandir.' I like the sound of that. The half-Elf is Elrond, by the way, even though he doesn't like to admit he's half human. Oh, and I'm fourteen. Seems like I never act 14, though. Either I act a lot older or a lot younger. Mostly younger. But when I'm writing, that's the exception. "New age Mithrandir," huh? I like that.

Ice Ember–Yes, Pippin is so young. We needed a younger Ringbearer. Frodo's what, fifty? And, yes, it is good that Hobbits don't weigh as much as you'd think they would eating so much, or else Faramir would have some pretty sore legs. But what were you doing awake at 6:20 in the morning? Besides reading my fanfic, that is. :)