The Shortest Short Stories Ever: What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?
By Spectra16
A/N: I have to thank Krista for reminding my that Dobby was alive. Also, that last chapter was written before I knew about Fred and George's . . .(ahem) explosive leaving of Hogwarts.
Disclaimer: Sorry everyone, but I couldn't resist a little crossover. I also do not own the speech that Gollum gave on the Two Towers DVD easter egg.
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Chapter Twenty: What Would Dobby Do For A Klondike Bar?
Little Dobby couldn't resist doing something for the sake of a Klondike bar. In fact, little Dobby really couldn't resist anything. He helped a stumbling, not to mention drunken Gollum up a vast volcano.
"Just a little bit more, Gollum. It's not too far now," Dobby said pathetically. Gollum was still in a drunken rage.
"BLOODY HOBBITS'S! CURSE THEM! Bloody, ranchy feets!" Gollum screeched. Dobby was near tears as they reached the peak of the mountain. Gollum was still unaware of what was going on.
"CURSE THEM! BLOODY FUCKING HOBBITS!" Gollum stomed. Dobby pulled him closer to the side.
"Now, kind Gollum, give me the One Ring," Dobby didn't expect this to go over well with Gollum.
"NO! Bloody fucking hobbits's wants me precious s s s! MY PRECIOUS!" he fell flat on his face. Dobby, completely sober, helped him up.
"You leave Dobby no choice," Dobby had a look of determination on his face. He stood Gollum up at the tip of the drop off. He then pushed him off. Dobby had an emo tear leave his eye, and then he walked back to Hogwarts to claim his Klondike bar. On the way there, he found two hobbits who looked completely lost, and kept searching relentlessly for a "precious". Whatever that means.