Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. But the weird plot is mine, all mine. Muahahahaha.

Chapter Eight

"Boromir, look up there!" Aragorn called.

"It's a bird!"

"It's a plane!"

"Aragorn, what's a plane?"

"A big open field. But you're right -- it is a bird. Hey, down here!" he called.

And the bird did turn. "What?" called a voice.

"Radagast!" Aragorn excalimed.

"Hurry-get-on-your-fellowship-is-in-danger-Saruman-has-created-an-army-of-Uruk-hai-and-Theoden-king-of-Rohan-has-fallen-under-the-spells-of-Grima-Wormtongue-and-banished-his-nephew-we-have-to-get-moving-and-wake-the-Ents!"

Boromir glanced at Aragorn with a confused expression. Was this Wizard even speaking in the Common Tongue? "One more time, please?" Boromir asked.

"Your friends are headed into a war zone!"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Thaaaaaat's what you said," Aragorn nodded. "We're . . . uh . . . sort of lost, so if you could give us a lift . . . ."

Radagast sighed and nodded. "Just get on."

"Who are you, anyway?" Boromir asked as they took off.

"I'm Gandalf's cousin."

"Really?"

"No, actually I'm his third cousin four times removed or his fifth cousin three times removed, but it's simpler to say I'm his cousin."

Boromir couldn't tell whether the Wizard was kidding or not.

"Go!" Pippin shouted. He and Merry each grabbed one end of the reins Faramir was holding and pulled back. The horse reared up for a moment and then took off across the plain. "Yahoooooo!" Pippin yelled.

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!" Merry agreed.

Once Faramir recovered from almost being thrown as the horse reared back, he joined them in cheering. Legolas, the only one who still had them in sight, almost burst out laughing. This was the son of the Steward of Gondor?

That was until Gimli pulled back on their horse's reins.

"I thought you were trying to save me from horses," Legolas insisted as they followed Merry, Pippin, and Faramir. Gimli shrugged.

"Faramir!" Gandalf called. "Come back!"

But the horse wasn't under Faramir's control.

Just then, a huge shadow loomed above them. "There they are," Boromir told Radagast, who had already figured that out.

"Rihiawg nwod su ekat," Radagast told the eagle.

"What does that mean?" Boromir asked.

"'Take us down, Gwaihir,'" Aragorn said. "Elvish."

"No, backwards," Radagast corrected as they swooped down in front of Merry, Pippin, Faramir, Legolas, and Gimli.

"It cannot be!" Faramir exclaimed. "You fell!"

"Through snow, and air," Boromir nodded.

"But Boromir, Aragorn," Pippin said, confused, looking at the snow all over their clothes and hair, "you are all in white now."

Oh, dear. Poor confused little Pippin. (grins)

Ice Ember – Yes, I try to have everyone say or do something stupid. Gandalf is no exception. Such as yelling at Faramir to come back when he probably can't even hear him. And what will he do now that his cousin has entered the plot? Muahahahaha. Poor Aragorn. It doesn't look like his plan for not becoming king is going to work, does it?

SirNotAppearingInThisFilm – Hmmmm. Maybe they'll tackle him later. Right now, they'll settle for startling him.

Rhys – Glad you liked it. I do love making people indecisive about their reactions. :) You never know who's going to get what jokes. My mom didn't get any of them. My sister got ones I didn't even know I'd put in there. :) I also enjoy putting these little smiley faces in. :) :) :) Writing humor always puts me in a good mood.

Rosie 26 – Yes, I am fourteen. Yes, I realize most people on this site are older than me. But I also realize the minimum age was thirteen, so I guess I'm okay. Glad you liked the council. I had a lot of fun writing it. A lot of it came from jokes my sister and I made up while watching The Fellowship of the Ring for the hundredth time at midnight, which is when she goes really cuckoo. Then our mom and dad always tell us to be quiet. And we laugh even harder. (sighs) Life is good.