A/N: Ok, so here's the next bit. I'm happy with how it turned out and I hope you readers are too. It was written late Friday night and into the wee hours of Saturday morning. Thanks again to Rachel the Loser for leaving a review and because I appreciate the support so much I'm giving Rachel bonus points and a mental cookie .
Disclaimer: I only own them in my mind, which is an interesting place where I make them do very out of character sorts of things that would make their actors blush to hear about.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday arrived a lot quicker than I wanted it to, but then it always does. After waking I got ready for the day and headed to the school. I wasn't picking up Suzie today; she'd called last night saying Jason would drive her.
Jason. I hate him. No, not him, just that he's with Suzie and I'm not. That's what I really hate. It doesn't seem fair really. I mean he's only known her two years. He came to this school during our freshman year from Ohio and was instantly as smitten with Suzie as the rest of the boys in class were and she didn't even notice him. No one did until he went out for the football team and became a starting running back as a freshman, practically unheard of at our school. That's when he became a chick magnet, popular, and right up Suzie's alley. Except at the time Suzie was with Billy so Jason had no chance. Didn't stop him from trying though, he's a lot like Ned that way.
But I'm saying that he's only known her from a distance since freshman year. I've known Suzie practically all my life, not that we were always friends, but we understood each other. So how is it that this non-entity Jason can be with her and I can't? What a lucky rat. It's because he's a guy. I was always off of Suzie's list of potential romantic partners and I curse my luck for that.
I don't understand why fate has dealt me such a cruel hand, why did it allow me to fall in love with her? No, not allow, it made me. Fate made me fall for her. Not that I'm complaining. Well, I am, but not because of Suzie, she's wonderful. I'm complaining because I don't even have the glimmer of a chance with her and that sucks. She's smart, talented, beautiful, agreeable, and utterly, impossibly straight…which also sucks. I don't stand a chance. Not when all the man-meat in this school is jumping for just one opportunity with her and is willing to do even the most ridiculous of her bidding unbidden.
So here I am moping my way through the halls on this depressing Monday afternoon, morning over and done with and practice cancelled, having learned nothing all day except that Balsa wood is what they make those dinky little glider planes out of when I see them. Suzie standing with Jason, close enough to show that something is going on between the two…it could even be described as intimately close. He leans down to kiss her; at least that's what I assume he was aiming to do. I don't know because before he could make contact I fled with my heart breaking. I turned tail and basically ran for the nearest exit, which happened to be the one by the pool and the parking lot where my car, the means of my escape, is situated.
I'm moving quickly, hoping to outrun the images planted in my head by that almost kiss…I hadn't realized just how painful actually seeing her with someone else was going to be. I'm speed-walking down the path to the parking lot and to my salvation when I hear "Jennifer! Jennifer wait!" It's Suzie, looking flushed, from her kiss or her attempt to catch me I don't know, but I don't stop. I can't. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes and I know they're going to drop any moment and I don't want her to see my cry, so I keep moving, trying to ignore her and failing.
Why'd she have to come after me anyway? What good could it do? It won't take away the pain I'm feeling and it won't erase the images in my brain. It won't put my heart back together. Then I feel her hand on my arm, gripping and turning me around. When had she caught up to me? I don't know but she's here and she's asking questions.
"Jennifer…what's wrong?" She's looking at me with those soulful eyes pleading. I just want to drown in them. I can't tell her what's wrong with me; she wouldn't want to hear it. So working around the lump in my throat I say "nothing" and my voice breaks over the word.
"Please don't lie to me Jennifer. I can see that something's wrong, you're crying. Now what is it?" Persistent isn't she? And I can see that she really is worried, her eyebrows have drawn close together and her eyes are wide and searching mine. I try again "it's nothing, really" and again my voice betrays me even as my eyes are leaking those traitorous tears. I just want to get away and wallow in my misery, leave her to the boy, but she's still gripping my arm and her eyes are pleading with me.
"Liar." She's getting frustrated now, and is it my imagination or is she fighting back tears now too? "Just tell me Jennifer…please?" She sounds so lost and confused, hurt even, and I wonder how that happened when I hear myself speaking, something in me must have responded to her, "I'm jealous." There's surprise on her face now, I finally got the drop on her for a change, so why doesn't it feel better? Oh yeah, broken heart…
"Jealous? Of me? Do you like Jason?" Is she for real? Do I like Jason? Hell no, I don't like Jason; he can rot for all I care. Is that disappointment on her face? I know I see pain there and I can't imagine what's hurting her. I also wonder what could cause the disappointment I see in her face.
"Yes jealous, but not of you…" Oh god, what did I just say! Did that really just come out of my mouth! Crap, well now you've done it Jennifer, you've just let something huge slip…how are you going to handle this one smarty pants? I decide to let my words sink in, a silence settles and it is full of tension and quite a bit of awkwardness on my part. I think I've managed to surprise her again, I can see it, but is that hope in her eyes? Hope underneath all those tears? What is she hoping for?
"Not of me?…Then…of Jason?" A tentative question, she's wary now but the hope is still there. Dare I believe that she's hoping what I hope she's hoping? Could she maybe want me too? I'm nervous now…and when I'm nervous I ramble. "Yes, of Jason. I can't see you with him. I thought about it all weekend and I kept seeing things in my head that I just want to go away but they don't and they hurt because I want to be where he is, where he gets to be, but I know it can't happen, but try telling that to my heart because it so wants it to. And then I saw you with him today, and it brought all those horrors to the forefront of my brain, and he was going to kiss you and I couldn't bear to have that nightmare become real because it would just kill me, I'd actually die of a broken heart. So I turned and ran trying to keep my heart from breaking and it didn't really work so I moved faster. And then you came after me and I've said some really stupid things and I was hoping we could just forget that any of this happened and g-mmph!" She's kissing me. Holy crap! She's really kissing me! Kiss back dummy!
So I do. I close my eyes and kiss back. She has my face in her hands making sure I don't pull away, as though I'd ever want to, and somehow my arms wrap around her back and she's pressed into me and kissing me and it's even better than I imagined. It started as a desperate kiss, one to stop my litany and to make sure that no signals would be misread, but then it turned into a soft confirmation that what I'd been feeling for the last year she's been feeling too. And gods it feels so good, and soft, and warm, and wonderful.
"Idiot." That's what she says when she eventually pulls away, my face still between her palms.
"What?" Is my ever-so-clever response, once again showing of my formidable conversation skills.
"What took you so long? Why didn't you just tell me you felt this way before? I've been giving you signals all year, how dense are you!" I can sense the smile in her words; I could hear it even if I hadn't been looking into her laughing eyes at the time. I know that she expects an answer.
And suddenly I don't have one. Everything I'd been thinking before just seemed silly now. Of course it would since she just kissed me and turned any rational thoughts I might've had into putty. No answer, no excuse, could ever be good enough…but she's still waiting for one, looking into my eyes, keeping my face in her hands.
I've got one now, it's the only one that makes sense anymore. "You're right. I'm an idiot." And she kisses me again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: I'm not sure if I should end it here or not. I've got ideas for more but I don't know if they'd detract from the rest of it or make it better. Let me know what you think, leave a review. Thanks for reading and bearing with my amateur writings. Also, sorry if I over abused the italics towards the end.