Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is not mine. Even Radagast is not mine, though I had to make up a lot of his personality because basically all the book says is that he likes birds. (sighs) Oh, well.

Chapter Nine

Aragorn just rolled his eyes at Pippin's remark. Radagast smiled. They were pretty white from the snow.

"Gandalf, hurry up!" the Wizard called. Gandalf and Frodo stayed in the back with Sam, anyway, and took their merry time catching up while Aragorn, Boromir, and Radagast dismounted.

"What seems to be the problem, Radagast?" Gandalf asked. He wasn't required to give his cousin a lecture on why he arrived precisely when he meant to.

So Radagast explained the problem.

"Then we must ride to Fangorn Forest," Gandalf concluded. Radagast nodded his approval.

"Why don't we just fly there?" Pippin suggested, gesturing to the eagles.

Everyone turned in surprise. Had Pippin actually said something smart? Was that possible?'

"And while we're at it," Pippin continued, "why don't we just ride the eagles into Mordor? We'd get there a lot quicker."

Gandalf realized he needed to think of something fast. Pippin couldn't be right. There was some rule against it. But the Wizard was stumped.

Faramir helped Pippin off the horse, realizing that Gandalf was going to take a while. Pippin walked up to the eagle, who promptly lifted off and flew away.

"Gwaihir!" Radagast called, but the eagle did not come back.

"It's the Ring!" Gandalf exclaimed. "The eagles won't have anything to do with the Ring!"

"Are you sure it isn't just that Pip hasn't had a bath?" Merry asked.

Gandalf nodded. "Quite sure, Master Brandybuck. He had no problems with Aragorn."

Aragorn looked annoyed, but then decided it wasn't a good idea to look annoyed at a Wizard.

"I guess we'd better get going to Fangorn," Gandalf decided.

"And I guess I'll go with you," Radagast agreed, "seeing as my ride home just took off without me."

Pippin groaned. Now there would be two Wizards calling him a Fool of a Took. "Can we eat lunch first?" he asked.

"You just had lunch," Gandalf argued, "or whatever meal that was."

"I didn't," Radagast put in.

Pippin smiled and decided he liked the Wizard as he promptly got to work finding the food. "Wizard cousins don't act much alike, do they?" he asked with a grin.

Gandalf glared at Radagast. "No, we don't. Some of us do things. Some of us sit around in Mirkwood and do nothing."

Radagast had learned better than to get annoyed at that. Sometimes Gandalf just needed to insult someone. Usually his little cousin. Besides, he was still looking for . . .

"Aha! I knew you had it!"

"What?" Gandalf asked, suddenly looking quite sheepish.

"It's the pipe you 'borrowed' from me three winters ago."

"Ah, yes."

"I suppose you've smoked all the pipeweed you 'borrowed.'"

"What else would I do with it? You can have your pipe back."

Radagast smiled and busied himself bringing out the food for another meal, whatever meal it was. The Hobbits sat down immediately, and the others - even Gandalf - soon joined them.

"You see," Radagast was explaining to Aragorn, "Gandalf was on his way through Mirkwood, and, not having any 'pressing business,' or 'immediate problems,' he stopped at my house and challenged me to a smoking contest.

The Hobbits nodded their approval. Aragorn smiled. He knew where this story was going. Gandalf had played the trick on him several times.

"Well, he was ahead by a little when he said he heard something at the door that sounded rather like a lot Dwarf. Now, I make it my business to help Dwarves who get lost in Mirkwood. When they find me before the Elves find them," he added with a glance at Gimli. "So, naturally, I went to look. When I came back, having found absolutely nothing, my pipe, and the rest of the pipeweed, had 'disappeared.' Of course, my cousin here declared that since I could not find my pipe - I checked everywhere - he'd won."

Aragorn nodded. "What did you have to do?"

"Stand on my head and sing the alphabet backwards."

"That's not so bad."

"In Elvish, with a Dwarven accent."

"Okay, that's bad."

"Hey!" Legolas and Gimli said at once, not sure which one of them the Wizard and the Ranger were trying to insult.

"And I still can't figure out where he put it," Radagast complained.

"Me, neither," Aragorn agreed.

"Checked his cape?"

"Yeah."

"Bags?"

"Yeah."

"Horse?"

"Yeah."

"Me, too. Never found it."

Gandalf was grinning. They'd never figure it out.

"Well, isn't it rather obvious?" Pippin asked.

For the second time, everyone turned to look at Pippin. "You don't even know," Gandalf argued.

"Do so."

"Do not."

"If I'm right, we get to stop to eat whenever I want to."

"If you're wrong, you're quiet whenever I tell you to be."

Pippin thought for a moment. "Deal." They shook hands.

"Where'd he put it?" Radagast asked.

Pippin smiled. "In his hat."

Muahahahahaha. But is Pippin right or not? Will he have to be quiet or will he get to run the Quest the way he wants it?

Ice Ember–Well, it would seem that Pippin likes Radagast for the present. But how long will it take before even Radagast gets annoyed with the Hobbit's talkativeness? Hmmm . . . quite a while if Gandalf wins this one, huh?

Crusading Hobbit–Yes, indeed, and if they end up stopping whenever they want to, Pippin will have even more opportunities to lose the Ring or forget it completely (or leave it in a tree stump, or hide it in Gandalf's hat, or try to burn it when he's smoking, or put it in Gimli's drink, or . . . well, you get the point.) :)

Lhaewin–Welcome and really glad you like it. I will probably learn to update sooner now that the cross-country season is finally over. Man, that lasted forever! Shouldn't complain. Varsity goes longer. But still. Helps to complain sometimes. Don't get to much considering our coach is the school counselor. :)

Arsinole Selene–Well, I needed to make some sort of stupid joke at the end of the chapter, and they were all white because of the snow, so . . . Aragorn the White instead of Gandalf the White. Except that Aragorn probably won't stay white for long. (laughs for a while before friend covers mouth) Just doesn't look the same on him.

Pippinsgal1011890–All right, I'll confess now; I know nothing of computers. I assume you're referring to some sort of IM, which I don't have, and would have no idea how to use even if I did. I'll probably end up E-mailing you sometime, but I also have a tendency to neglect my E-mail, so . . . um . . . if I don't reply immediately, it doesn't mean I'm mad or hate you or anything. It just means I'm not very organized, and if you won't take my word on that, just ask my English teacher. Folder's a wreck, and, man, is she way too picky about how you cite stuff! :) Oh, well. She hasn't yet complained about my report on Jurassic Park, and that jumped all over the place, so I can't complain too much. Of course, we just turned it in yesterday and she probably hasn't even read it yet, but, well, such is life. Never without its sharp turns and speedbumps. :) As my dad would say, "Life's an adventure." And this is way too long already. Namarie, mellon nin.