Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is not mine. Pippin is not mine.
Chapter Thirteen
"Gandalf?"
"Yes, Boromir?"
"We're at Edoras."
"Oh. Okay."
"Okay?!? Is that all you have to say? You told me to tell you when we got to Edoras."
"And . . ."
"We're here."
"Oh. Okay."
"Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!"
"Okay, y'all, we need to get off these horses and go see Theoden," Radagast ordered. Everyone got off the horses.
"Hey, Gandalf, what's that?" Pippin asked.
"That's a horse."
"No, the one on the horse."
"That's Eomer," Boromir told him.
"Hey, Eomer! Over here!" Pippin called.
"What?" Eomer called as he rode over.
"Where're ya goin?"
"I was just banished. I have to get out of here."
"Oh. Well, why don't you come with us? Gandalf can get you unbanished, can't you, Gandalf?"
"Who do I look like, Manwe?"
"Um . . . I don't know. Radagast, does he look like Manwe?"
"Not really."
"Oh. Drat. Can he unbanish Eomer?"
"I don't know, Gandalf."
"Do I have a choice?"
"Not really."
"Then come on, y'all, let's go unbanish Eomer."
So they walked up to the door, and Hama came out to greet them. "Hey, Eomer, didn't the king just banish you?"
"Yeah, we're here to get me unbanished."
"Oh. Well, you'll have to do it without your weapons. You have to leave them here."
"Why?" Pippin asked.
"Because that's the rule."
"Why?"
"Because Theoden said so."
"Why?"
"Because he's nuts."
"Why?"
"Because of Grima."
"Why?"
"Aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhh! All right! You can go in! Just stop asking why! I don't know why! I just stand here and greet people! I don't need to know why!"
"Okay, we'll go in."
So they did.
"Hey, how did Grima get here so fast?" Frodo asked.
"Maybe he didn't stop for first and second breakfast and elevenses and lunch and dinner and supper," Aragorn suggested.
"Oi, you forgot afternoon tea," Pippin reminded him.
"And early late second supper," Merry added.
"And late early first dinner."
"And late third breakfast."
"And early first late dinner."
"And late second afternoon tea."
"Now they're just making this up," Aragorn sighed.
Meanwhile, Gandalf was approaching Theoden, saying something about shadows. Nothing was happening.
"He's not powerful enough," Radagast observed. "Saruman won't leave."
"He's not here," Pippin argued.
"He's controlling Theoden through Grima."
"Then get rid of Grima."
Radagast and Gandalf promptly turned Grima into a duck.
"Why a duck?" Legolas asked, confused.
"First thing I thought of," Gandalf shrugged. He looked at Theoden. "It didn't work."
"Well, when you and Radagast worked together, you turned Grima into a duck. So maybe if we all work together, Saruman will leave," Pippin suggested.
"Good idea - Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Pippin had a good idea! Everybody hide! Pippin had a good idea!"
"Well, can we try it?"
"Sure. Everyone?"
As the Fellowship was (A/N: was or were? Hmmmmm.) concentrating their mostly non-existent telepathic abilities on Theoden/Saruman, Pippin unexpectedly burst into song.
"Join us - leave your fields to flower
Join us - leave your cheese to sour
Join us - come and waste an hour or two
Doo-dle-ee-do
Journey - journey to a spot ex-
citing, mystic and exotic
Journey - through our anecdotic revue."
Before they had a chance to wonder how Pippin knew words like 'anecdotic revue,' or even wonder what that meant, or whether Pippin knew this song from somewhere or was making it up, Radagast and Faramir joined him on the chorus.
"We've got magic to do - just for you
We've got miracle plays to play
We've got parts to perform - hearts to warm
Kings and things to take by storm
As we go along our way"
"It's working!" Radagast shouted. "Everyone!"
Gimli, Gandalf, Merry, and Legolas joined in.
"We've got magic to do - just for you
We've got miracle plays to play
We've got parts to perform - hearts to warm
Kings and things to take by storm
As we go along our way"
"More!" Gandalf shouted.
Boromir, Aragorn, Eomer, Frodo, and Sam joined.
"We've got magic to do - just for you
We've got miracle plays to play
We've got parts to perform - hearts to warm
Kings and things to take by storm
As we go along our way"
"Look!" Eomer exclaimed. "It worked!" He was right - Saruman was gone. He had obviously not been able to stand their singing.
"Nephew, what are you doing dancing around like that with these lunatics?" Theoden asked.
"Trying to help you."
"Well, you certainly didn't help my ears."
"Were we that bad?" Gimli sighed.
"You in particular, no. There was one high note there that needed help, but you fixed it. But a couple of you looked embarrassed and didn't have your hearts in it."
"Didn't know you were such a singing critic, Uncle," Eomer admitted. "Pippin, how did you know that song, anyway?"
"I don't know. It sort of just . . . popped into my head."
"I've got it!" Sam exclaimed.
Everyone turned to Sam, who hadn't really said much. "Well, beggin' your pardon, but I think I've got it. Somehow, someone figured out that the Ring was makin' Mr. Pippin smart and decided to feed nonsense into his brain because that's the only way they could counteract the intelligence. So that's where the nonsense is coming from."
Everyone stared at Sam. Frodo nodded. "Sounds good, Sam."
"Thank you, Mr. Frodo."
"That didn't make any sense," Merry objected.
"Of course it didn't," Pippin grinned. "He was tryin' to sound like Gandalf."
Rhys – Awww, now I'll have to come up with something else for suspense. :) Hahahaha. I was beginning to wonder if anyone else had even heard of the play. I must admit to not having seen it, but my dad has a record of the songs and I borrowed the book from the library, so I have some idea what I'm doing. I also went and wrote a songfic to the finale, or at least part of the finale. Corner of the Sky is one of my favorites, too. You can probably tell I like Magic to Do, too. :) (starts singing, sister runs off screaming)
Snaitf – I heard Steve is a professional guitar player now. :) But, then, I also heard the Mr. Andrews was staring off into a picture of New York as the Titanic was sinking, so who believes what I hear? :) I really did hear that. My sister is nuts about the Titanic. (sigh) Q: Your species is always suffering and dying. Ian: If we are gone tomorrow, the world will not miss us. Smeagol: Man, what a pessimistic attitude two weeks before Christmas. Gollum: Two weeks before Christmas! Oh, man, that's less than a week before we have to leave for Wisconsin! Aaaaah! Nothing's ready! Aaaaaaaah! Precioussssss! Okay, that all came out of nowhere.
Ice Ember – Yes, Gandalf is waaaaay too serious. So is Elrond. So is Eomer. So here they are, crazy. :)
The Skunk – :) Welcome to the insanity, mellon nin.
Gods-Girl 2004 – There. The chapter is longer. Everyone is always complaining about my short chapters. :) What they don't realize is, considering the number of stories I am tyring to write at once, if my chapters were any longer, it would take me forever to update. :) But this chapter is longer mostly because of the song. :) And because I haven't had anything to do besides sit around and write fanifics. :)