Disclaimer: Standard. Y'all know it so well by now I think you can fill it in, no?
A/N: REVIEWERS! Thank you guys soooo much for all the input. Please keep reading and reviewing. : ).
p.s. did you notice the fast update? I'm pretty proud of myself. Happy Thanksgiving to you all! Eat turkey; gain weight, sleep lots…enjoy the holiday.
Chapter Eighteen
PART ONE: BUDDING
Padme had seen the Padawans off the next day, worriedly trying to appease Ali's conscience the entire time. The Senator kept reassuring the Padawan that her actions had been the only thing that stopped the assassins from murder. After such persistence, Ali gave in a little and flashed the petite brunette a grateful smile, which was happily received.
Ali had been filled in on the happenings of the ball. After she had blacked out, Anakin had arrived and staved off any further attacks on Padme. The rest trickled in, and slowly but surely defeated both assassins. Unfortunately, one was killed (no one mentioned who did the killing, but by the blonde's slight blush and Kyla's subtle glances, Ali inferred it was Sera) and the other escaped. No information as to their employers had been obtained.
The flight home was torturous. Being unable to pilot due to her injury, Ali was left to wander aimlessly about the small ship. Perhaps it was simply because she was avoiding him now, but Anakin seemed to be everywhere. She brushed past him countless times, each one more embarrassing than the last. No matter her efforts, she always ran into him. When it came his turn to pilot the ship with Kyla (who kindly offered to take over Ali's position), the redhead breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully now those mutant butterflies in her stomach would die off.
Two hours later Ali was decidedly hungry. It was sometime in the late afternoon, and she made her way out of the bedroom with the two cot style bunk beds to find the kitchen.
There she paused, in the doorway. This kitchen hated her—it was enacting vicious revenge for her "stupid tiny kitchens" comment. And boy, did it know which buttons to poke.
"Hey Ali!" Kyla said, waving hello from her position on the counter. "How are you doing? Is your arm okay?"
"I'm fine, thanks." Ali replied back, dumbstruck. She regained her senses and her manners. "You?"
"Hungry, but well," Kyla smiled. "Come on in and eat a little—I'm sure you're hungry too. Anakin, can you help Ali fix a lunch?"
Anakin looked up from his stance, crouched at the freezer door. He turned his head to Ali, and a mysterious, small smile drifted across his face.
"Sure thing. What would you like, Ali?" He was staring at her, his eyes piercing and observing at the same time.
"I'm actually not hungry, I just came in here to…explore. You two continue eating, sorry to bother." Ali finished lamely, acutely aware of how fake that sounded —even more so when her stomach gave an unquestionably loud rumble of hunger. Damn kitchen.
Anakin raised an eyebrow, looking endlessly endearing to her eyes. He was close enough to hear it. Kyla, sitting further away and thus oblivious, scoffed and waved away her explanation.
"Nonsense, you aren't bothering us at all! Right Anakin?"
"Right." He was speaking so slow, so lazily, almost as if he enjoyed her great discomfort. And that stupid half smirk wouldn't leave his handsome face.
"Come on, Ali, there's plenty of room. I insist." Kyla pleaded.
And so Ali ended up in that tiny kitchen, standing next to Anakin, eating her lunch made just the way she liked it (he REALLY knew her too well) and trying to ignore the fact that her best friend was staring at her. Kyla had told Ali to take her seat on the counter, but Ali flat out refused. That'd just be rude—although the alternative was quite painful, Ali could not do it.
"I'll be right back, you guys, I'm going to use the restroom." Kyla slid off her seat, smiling happily, completely clueless to the tension vibrating in that room. She had been blabbering the entire time, leading a conversation where she did most of the talking and Ali or Anakin nodded occasionally. While Kyla was very nice, she could also be quite unaware.
Once the brunette was safely out of hearing range, Ali hissed: "Would you quit doing that?"
"Doing what?" Anakin asked curiously.
"Staring at me."
"Why?"
"Because it makes me uncomfortable."
"Sorry." He didn't sound particularly sorry at all. And he kept staring at her. Ali gave him a moment to stop, and when he didn't…
"Anakin!"
"What?" He was grinning now, abandoning all sense of propriety. Behind that innocent façade was an evil mastermind, who was perfectly aware of how uncomfortable he was making her.
"You're horrible." She said, frowning back in amusement. For a brief moment everything felt alright again, back to normal, like how they had been before the kiss. They simply stood there, one fake scowling and the other with a huge smile, until he held her gaze for just a moment too long and the awkwardness returned with reinforcements.
She broke away from his eyes, those mesmerizing orbs of crystal blue, and looked down at her sandwich. He continued staring at her, observing how very attractive she seemed when embarrassed. That's when Kyla returned, and silence fell between them again.
Two weeks flew by, in every sense of the word. Ali didn't get nearly enough sleep throughout it all—au contraire, every night seemed to be spent pondering her decision. She liked him—that much was obvious. He liked her—that was clear as well. She shouldn't like him. He shouldn't like her. She wanted to be a Jedi. He wanted to be a Jedi. Liking him and acting upon it meant they BOTH wouldn't ever be a Jedi. But liking him and NOT acting upon it meant they'd both be unhappy and she'd also lose her best friend in the process. Everything that should've been so simple was so confusing.
Lyra and the other Jedi Masters had been surprisingly understanding at the outcome of the mission. No "I told you sos," or "Go train mores"…just a sympathetic look. The Jedi Knight has taken one glance at her Padawan's forlorn expression, and realized that no punishment could out do the one Ali was inflicting upon herself. The Jedi Masters had done likewise—but had warned the Padawan to think before she acted. No mistake would be tolerated again—that much was understood.
She groaned and stretched out from meditation. It just wasn't helping. Tomorrow she'd have to give Anakin her decision, and she knew that there was no chance he had forgotten the deadline. Her friend had been staring at her throughout all of their classes, making her feel distinctly uncomfortable and writhe nervously. Occasionally he would send her a thought message, something like: Three more days. Or however many there were left.
One more day left, and she still didn't know her choice.
It was the gossip of the Jedi Temple—what was going on between Alianne Tyri and Anakin Skywalker, the two inseparable best friends? Suddenly they were avoiding each other, barely exchanging words, not talking and courteously stiff. The rumors had it that a fight had broken out between the two during the mission. Speculations grew more and more ludicrous that Ali almost had to laugh. They were all so far off—they would never guess the truth.
Besides, everything would die down in a few days. All she had to do was lay low.
Master Lyra came into the meditating room, and sat down beside the redhead.
"You need to sleep more, Padawan," Lyra remarked casually. Her tone hid her worry—everyday, it seemed, Ali grew paler and more drawn. Black bags hung underneath her Padawan's deadened eyes.
"I know, Master." It came out as a tired sigh.
"Is there anything you need to talk about?"
Ali looked at Lyra, her brow furrowed and heart sad. How she would love to pour out her emotions, her thoughts, her worries to her mentor. And yet…if she did, who knows what would happen? She wanted to be a Jedi so badly…this just might ruin her chance.
"Actually, Master, I do need some advice," Ali began slowly, contemplating how to best phrase the situation without giving anything away. "If you could re-choose, would you want to be a Jedi still? Do you think…that this life is worth it? Because in choosing it, you missed out on things like love and family and relationships…"
Lyra frowned, and tilted her head to the side as if thinking.
"Do you understand my question?" Ali asked nervously.
"Yes, I do, because I once felt the same way," Lyra answered absently. "Everyone goes through that stage of doubt, when they wonder whether or not life as a Jedi is worth it. All I have to say to you, youngling, is that there is nothing as valuable as saving someone's life. It's quite unforgettable. And yet I don't deny that sometimes…I feel lonely, and wistful for…oh, I don't know. Love."
"So you would not choose differently?" Ali prompted.
A pause. A long, long, hesitation in which Lyra closed her eyes to think, all sorts of different emotions washing over her weary face.
"No, Padawan, I wouldn't," Lyra answered at last. "Without being a Jedi, I would never have met you, would I?" She said, smiling. Despite her happy expression, there was something very sad behind that smile. Almost a tint of regret. Then it was gone—a flicker of an emotion that Lyra banished from her face.
"Thank you, Master." Ali said quietly. Now she had even more to think about. Her Master had said she did not regret her decision, that being a Jedi really was invaluable. Beyond priceless. So she should have a decision now! But there was that pause…Her mind told her.
"Don't worry, Padawan," Lyra said, standing up and ruffling her apprentice's hair affectionately. "You are destined to be great. Your future is very bright within these walls. I know how much you value your training, and how hard you try. Everything will be fine." Then she left.
"Thank you, Master." Ali repeated again, well aware that she was alone in the world once more.
The pro sides of saying yes? She would be unquestionably happy, even if a bit nervous of being caught. Anakin would make her happy. He was handsome (quite so...)and funny and charming and friendly, and plus they had been friends for years.
The con sides of saying yes? What if they got caught? What if they lost interest and broke up? Oh, the very thought of being dumped, the instability that came with giving away your heart, the chance of losing Jedi Knighthood, of being kicked out of the Temple…Ali shuddered slightly.
I want to know tonight, Ali. A voice said impatiently into her thoughts halfway through Jedi Phil and Med, when she was thinking this whole thing through.
You said two weeks. It hasn't been two weeks yet. She still had no answer, and was well aware of the impending deadline. Never before had Ali needed to stall so badly.
It'll be two weeks tonight. He persisted. In front of the lilies. Let's say at 0200.
Ani! No, Ani, I need more TIME. Ani? Damn it, Anakin! She groaned in frustration. He had shut her out and was, quite effectively might she add, ignoring her.
Why were boys such nuisances? Sometimes Ali had a strong urge just to kick them in the…anyway. Back to listing, then.
The pro sides of saying no? She wouldn't risk getting her heart broken. Her future in the Temple would be secure—bright, as Master Lyra put it. She'd become a Knight, most likely. So would he. Besides, they could remain friends, could they not?
The con sides of saying no? She would be unhappy, and he would be unhappy.
But then again, her brain reasoned, you both will get over your unhappiness, no? He'll find someone else, you'll find someone else, and everything will be better in a few months.
Although this argument was quite convincing, her heart still gave off this pang of pain at the idea of saying no.
You'll get over it. And she would, wouldn't she?
A/N: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA CLIFFY! Review, please.
IMPORTANT: Question—did I happen to mention anything about a prophecy in the past chapters? Because I know I had that in my plans, but I couldn't find it and wondered if I did or didn't put it in…if I did, then I have to bring it back. If I didn't, I have to introduce it : ). PLEASE REVIEW!
HAPPY TURKEY DAY, ALL!