Sassy: … I can't think of a greeting!

Angry Kitty: Yeah, you're resources are pretty much dried up by now.

Tom: We'll research more. OH! Everyone say Happy Birthday to Sassy, she's officially one year older!

Flipper: That's one more year off your life, Sassy!

Yuki: How old ARE you?

Sassy: Like I'm gonna tell any of YOU.

Disclaimer: If WE owned Furuba, the fifteenth book would be out in America by now. We wouldn't make fans SUFFER until DECEMBER to get the next one.

CHAPTER TWO

They had managed to get into the mall without any MAJOR accidents. Yuki immediately headed for PacSun, but the hand clamped on his shoulder steered him away.

"What?" Yuki snapped, pushing Kyo's hand off his shoulder huffily.

"Only man-preps shop there. We're going to Hot Topic," Kyo explained slowly, like Yuki was a small child. He continued to drag the latter, kicking and screaming, to the other side of the mall.

Once they entered Hot Topic (which looked like the gateway to Hell to Yuki), the goths turned slowly around and hissed, glaring at them. Yuki KNEW this was Hell! They wanted to eat his SOUL!

Kyo calmly kept him from running the hell out of there and announced, "It's alright, he's here with me." As if someone had pressed the reverse button, everyone turned back to what they were doing as if nothing had happened.

They strode past a couple squealing anime fans to the back of the store. Yuki was whimpering at his fate and cursing the gods.

Who got pissed and tried to hit him with lightening, but Hot Topic was lightening-proof.

Damn you Hot Topiiiiiiic!

IIIIIIIIIII

After about an hour of whining, scratching, biting, and threats, they bought a total of two outfits. ('Cause Kyo wasn't going to walk out without anything for himself. He needed a new outfit anyway)

Yuki now had the man-prep gloss thoroughly waxed off. He wore black, puffy pants with chains running at random intervals and a long-sleeved black shirt that had the band logo "From First to Last" on it. Kyo wore simple black jeans with a black t-shirt that read: Penguins are slowly stealing my mind.

Yuki was then dragged over to the ATM. "200 bucks rat, and make it snappy."

"Why does it have to be my account?" Yuki complained.

"Do you want my help or not? This is for YOUR benefit, I hope you know!"

"I'm going, I'm going!"

IIIIIIIIIII

Once at the nightclub, they didn't bother with the half-hour line. Kyo sauntered confidently up to the bouncer. "Watch and learn, rat-boy," he muttered to Yuki.

"Name?"

"Kyo Sohma."

"I'm sorry, you're not on the list."

"Is it under the name," Kyo paused, sliding a $100 bill across the bouncer's clipboard, "Benjamin Franklin?"

The bouncer lifted an eyebrow coolly as he slipped the money in his shirt pocket. "Right this way, sir," he said, allowing Kyo to pass. At the last second he turned his head and winked at Yuki.

Hitching up his poofy black pants, Yuki mimicked Kyo's confident stride (badly) and stood in front of the bouncer.

"Name?"

"Yuki Sohma."

"It's not on the list."

"Would it be under," Yuki paused and slid a bill across the clipboard as Kyo had done, "George Washington?"

IIIIIIIIIII

Yuki sat, pouting, on the curb in front of the nightclub, chin in his hands, and elbows on his knees. The bouncer had called security on him. Him! Yuki Sohma! And that was only after the third try.

He glanced at his watch. 3:12 AM. He's been here for about six hours. Where the fuck was Kyo?

Suddenly, a figure came stumbling out the door, their clothes rumbled, their orange hair mussed.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" Yuki demanded of the bleary-eyed cat. "You were supposed to come right back out if I failed!"

Kyo laughed drunkenly, "Haha, you failed?"

Yuki turned beet red, grabbed Kyo's collar, and slammed him against the wall. The latter just wagged his finger, bottom lip jutting out into a full-blown pout.

"Now, now. None of that. Otherwise," Kyo hiccupped, "you'll lose your sensei, yeah? Let's go to a different club." He shook himself free of Yuki and sauntered/staggered away, Yuki at his heels. "Maybe I can find better drinks than what THAT wimpy club has to offer."

Yuki stopped short. "Should you be drinking? You're under aged!"

Kyo looked at him like he was insane, before turning on his heel and muttering, "Pussy."

Yuki was after him like a bat out of hell.

END

Angry Kitty: (giggles) Bat … rat …

Sassy: Cat!

(Both collapse laughing)

Yuki: George Washington? Are you trying to make me lose my whole fan base?

Tom: You see, Yuki dear, you are one of the easiest people to tease.

Yuki: WHY?

Flipper: Because you're so prim and proper and girly.

Yuki: (seethes)

Tom: YAY! Another crappy story has gained minimal success!

Sassy: … Huh?

Angry Kitty: No one's said it sucks yet.

Sassy: Oh.

Tom: Many thanks go to: The Girly Man, japanesenut, and XEye-Of-The-WolfX.

Yuki: Why do you people enjoy my suffering?

Sassy: Because it's fun watching you suffer.

Angry Kitty: Look out for chapter three! TTFN!