The Shortest Short Stories Ever: What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?
By Spectra16
A/N: The author of this story is infuriated! -And infatuated with Scoutcraft Piratess and Nyghtvision. --But that's not the point! She's mad because her best story has been greatly ignored! A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover is being ignored by millions! GO READ IT!
Spectra: Actually, I really don't care. -.-
A/N: SHE LIES!
Disclaimer: Yes, I pulled this chapter out of my own ass, not someone else's. Amazing. I've stolen so many chapters from live journal icons. Yes, originality.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Chapter Thirty (insane number): What Would Romilda Vane Do For A Klondike Bar?
Romilda's infatuation with Harry Potter was both astounding and dangerous. She had resorted to drugging Harry with several highly expensive potions, selling her soul to the Dark Lord, killing small children to sacrifice to the Potter god, and a car accident involving her speeding at 150 miles per hour, hitting a small dog. She was also exiled from Lebanon and had three parking tickets.
So when she heard a mysterious, evil, dark, rugged, handsome, SOB was offering a Klondike bar to -ahem- exPOSE themselves in front of Harry, she was the first to sign up, and the first to get the idea of killing off the other applicants.
Romilda Vane vainly held together an unbuttoned trench coat, shifty eyed. She was in the Gryffindor common room, waiting for her prey. Harry would be arriving any minute now. Patience was key.
"WHAT ARE YOU STARRIN AT NEVILLE!" She snapped. Neville, wide-eyed, avoided confrontation with this lunatic. Harry then walked in the common room, unfortunately, not accompanied by his fan club, Ron and Hermione. Harry, as gullible as he is, didn't expect any rash behavior from Vane while they were alone together. This was, however, a horribly incorrect assumption. Romilda smirked evilly. Harry's world was in slow motion. His jaw slowly dropped and he made a horrified noise.
Romilda opened her jacket with a flash! Harry (still in slow-mo), was slowly turning to run out of the door, making a low, screaming sound.
"N O O O O O O O O O O O!" Harry was almost turned all the way around. Romilda, at normal speed, lunged at Harry, almost completely naked. Romilda's long, painted finger nails dug into Harry as she dragged him down on the floor. Harry, terrified, was slowly reaching for his wand to hex the hell out of her.