Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.
A/N: As you can see, I haven't forgotten about this story! I probably won't be able to update again (any stories) until after the Easter weekend, but I'll post as soon as I can. Please review!
My Best Friend's Girlfriend
Chapter 23: A Helping Hand
Matt Ishida
Matt Ishida stumbled into Izzy's bedroom and nearly tripped over Joe's long legs. He put a hand on the cobalt haired Digidestined's shoulder to steady himself, and as a result, he managed to avoid what could have been a nasty collision.
Joe looked up, and the textbook in the soon-to-be doctor's hand hit the floor with a loud thump. "Matt, what's wrong?"
Matt collapsed onto the floor next to his friend, and he found himself gazing into the older boy's black eyes. The look of surprise and concern on Joe's face brought tears to his eyes, and he wrapped his arms around himself in a effort to gain control of his emotions. "Joe, my life is falling apart, and I don't know what to do," he whispered.
"Matt, are you-"
"Does this have something to do with Tai?" Izzy interrupted. "You're a very dramatic person, Matt. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether or not you have a serious crisis on your hands or if you're just overreacting."
Great, I'm being insulted by Izzy of all things!
Matt scowled at the computer expert and fell into a sullen silence.
Thanks a lot, Izzy. Remind me never to ask you for help ever again!
Izzy was sitting in a chair next to the computer, and there was a small smile on his face. He looked a little amused about something, and for once his attention was focused on something other than a computer monitor.
Joe was sprawled on the floor with about twenty textbooks surrounding him, and the wastebasket standing by the door was filled with crumpled up balls of paper. It looked like the older boy was attempting to write a long and boring paper for one of his university professors, and he was obviously not making very much progress.
Matt glared at both of them and crossed his arms. "Don't you two ever take me seriously?"
"Of course we do," Izzy replied, climbing out of his seat and sitting down on the floor next to Joe. "Now, what's wrong? Has Tai done something to make you upset again?"
"No," Matt whispered. "Actually, I'm the one who has made Tai upset."
Joe put a hand on his arm and gave him a sympathetic smile. "Alright, Matt, what have you done this time?"
That's it! I'm never asking Joe for help again either!
Matt gave the older boy a dirty look and shook his head. "I'm not always at fault, you know!" he muttered.
"Matt, will you quit trying to change the subject?" Izzy groaned. "You're the one who burst into my room, nearly trampling Joe in the process, I might add, which means you have to tell us what's wrong. Obviously you didn't come here to discuss computers and homework. Now, what were you babbling about earlier?"
Matt's eyes filled with hot tears, and he clutched one of Joe's textbooks against his chest to stop his hands from shaking. "Tai's in love with Sora," he whispered.
Izzy and Joe stared at him with their mouths hanging open.
"Are you sure?" Izzy finally gasped.
Joe had to swallow a few times before he could speak. "You're not just trying to trick us, are you? Please tell me this is some sort of a joke!"
"Joe, you're not exactly the type of guy who can recognize a joke very well!" Matt sighed softly and hung his head. "No, this is no joke. I wish it was, but unfortunately it isn't."
"How can you be sure that Tai's in love with Sora?" Izzy asked, looking confused. "Did something happen today?"
"Did Tai tell you he's in love with Sora?" Joe asked curiously.
Matt quickly told them about what had happened at Tai's apartment earlier that afternoon, excluding the parts about Mimi, and when he was finished, the other two boys stared at him in shock.
"Matt, are you sure Tai's in love with Sora?" Joe asked slowly. "I mean he didn't actually say he was..."
"He didn't have to," Matt whispered. "I know Tai better then I'll ever know myself. I could tell how he was feeling just from the look in his eyes. I'm such an idiot! I should have known! He wanted me to understand what was going on, but I chose to ignore him instead, and now he probably despises me!"
Matt felt Izzy's arm go around his shoulders, and he gazed mournfully at the computer expert.
"It sounds like Tai feels pretty bad about the way he has been treating you," Izzy said seriously. "That has to count for something."
"At least we finally know why Tai has been acting so moody lately," Joe said slowly. "I guess we can't really blame him for acting like a bit of a jerk."
Matt clung desperately to Izzy's shoulders and buried his face against the other boy's arm. "You guys have to help me!" he moaned. "I'm at a complete loss of what to do. I love Sora, but...Tai's my best friend, and I can't stand the thought of hurting him. I can't lose him, but I can't lose Sora either. They're two of the most important people in the world to me! Tai's not a jerk. I'm a jerk, and I deserve to be hated for what I've done to him!"
"Matt, you had no idea you were hurting Tai," Joe said calmly. "You can't blame yourself for something that isn't your fault."
Matt turned to look at the older Digidestined and shook his head. "Joe, you don't understand," he said sadly. "That's the point. I should have known what was wrong with Tai a long time ago, but I chose to ignore my best friend and his feelings. What does that say about me? I don't deserve to have a best friend like Tai. He hates me, and I hate me, too. How could I have been so cold to him? I won't be surprised if he never wants to speak to me again!"
I would do anything for Tai, but Sora's my girlfriend, and I care about her a lot. I don't think I could bring myself to let her go. I want Tai to be happy and I want Sora to be happy, but...what about me? How has Tai been able to move on with his life when he knows that Sora and I are in love with each other? How was he able to accept the fact that his dreams were never going to come true and still be happy for me? He has never once tried to take Sora away from me, and he has been loyal to me right from the start. He really cares about me, and all I've done is step on his feelings. I can't blame him for hating me because I deserve it, and I guess losing my best friend is the price I have to pay for being the worst friend ever...
"I'm a horrible person," he whispered. He flung Joe's textbook across the room and buried his face in his hands. His whole body was trembling and his heart ached with sadness. Tai had been the perfect best friend, and he had been a complete fool. "Tai sacrificed his happiness for me, and I acted like his gesture of friendship meant nothing to me. What if our roles had been reversed? Would I have given up my own happiness for Tai? Would I have remained loyal to him and allowed him to pursue a romance with Sora? Tai doesn't hate me for going out with Sora. He hates me because I didn't recognize what a huge sacrifice he made for me, and now he thinks I don't care about him!"
"Do you care about Tai?" Izzy asked quietly.
Matt felt a trail of tears begin to slide down his cheeks, and he nodded. "Yes, of course I care about him. How can I not after everything he has done for me? Would I have done the same thing for him? I'm not sure, and I feel sick to my stomache because I don't know if I could have been as generous. You see what I mean? I'm not like Tai. I'm not as good of a friend as he is. I probably never deserved the Crest of Friendship in the first place."
"Matt, I believe with my whole heart and soul that you would have done the same thing for Tai if your roles had been reversed," Joe said quietly. "You're just upset and confused right now. Once you've had a chance to get your emotions under control, I'm sure you'll agree with me. Don't give up on your crest, Matt. It's who you are, and nothing you say is ever going to change that."
Matt rubbed his eyes with the sleeve of his black shirt and leaned back against the nightstand next to Izzy's bed. "What about Tai? I can't stand seeing him so unhappy, but there's nothing I can really do to cheer him up. Sora loves me, and I can't stop dating her just because of Tai's feelings. How do you think that would make her feel? Breaking up with Sora isn't going to accomplish anything. I can't make her love Tai, and she deserves to be happy, too. Besides, like I said before, I love her and I don't think I could bring myself to let her go. If I break off our relationship, we're going to end up with three miserable people instead of just one. I didn't force Sora to fall in love with me. She's happy having me for a boyfriend, and there's no way I'm going to break her heart or cause her any unnecessary pain. I know Tai wants us to be happy, but..."
"You love Sora, and you don't want to hurt her, but you don't want to hurt Tai either," Joe finished. "You love Tai, and you hate the fact that you're the reason he's in so much pain. Having to watch Tai's heart break is killing you inside, and everytime he suffers at the hands of you and Sora, a part of you suffers with him."
Matt stared at Joe in surprise and managed a small smile. "I should have come to you for advice a lot sooner, but I didn't realize you were so...well, you know."
Joe blushed and shrugged. "School isn't the only thing I care about, you know."
"I know," Matt whispered, reaching out and placing a gentle hand on the older boy's shoulder. "I mean it, guys. I need your help. This whole situation has gotten really confusing, and I just can't handle it by myself anymore."
Izzy glanced at Joe and raised his eyebrows. "Matt Ishida is asking us for help? I guess there's a first time for everything!"
Matt blushed and hit Izzy hard in the chest. "Will you quit trying to make me feel guilty and help me already?"
"Will you give me back my laptop if I do?" Izzy asked hopefully.
Matt groaned and yanked Izzy's laptop out of his backpack. He shoved it into the computer expert's arms and let out an exasperated sigh. "There, are you happy? Seriously, Izzy, do you ever think about anything but your computer? Now hurry up and help me before I hit you over the head with one of Joe's textbooks!"
Izzy immediately opened his laptop and started tapping away at the keyboard with a vengeance.
"Izzy, what are you doing?" Matt shouted. He had never felt so outraged in his life.
"Helping you. What does it look like I'm doing?" Izzy said calmly.
Joe choked back a laugh and promptly buried his face in one of his textbooks.
Matt sent the cobalt haired Digidestined a suspicious look and rolled his eyes. He was starting to think Joe had a sense of humour after all! "Izzy, computers can't solve everything, you know. What are you doing, looking up dating advice on a search engine? All the internet chat rooms in the world aren't going to make me feel better, and they're not going to help me get my best friend back either!" he said sarcastically.
Izzy gave him a rather sheepish look and shrugged. "I've always been good with computers, and no one can surpass me in the field of science, but I'm lost when it comes to romance. Don't worry, Matt, I'm not wasting my time with internet chat rooms. I'm just going to see if I can get a friend of ours to give you a little bit of advice. He'll probably be able to help you out better than I can."
Matt waited impatiently while Izzy typed out what had to be a novel on his laptop and frowned when the computer expert suddenly smiled.
"What's up?" Joe asked, leaning around his textbook and glancing at Izzy's laptop.
"What have you done?" Matt asked suspiciously.
Izzy beamed at him. "Come over here and read this."
Matt scooted closer to the younger boy and glanced at the computer screen. He raised his golden eyebrows when he realized he was staring at a message from Willis.
"I was talking to him on the computer just before you walked into my room, so I knew there was a good chance he'd still be on his computer," Izzy explained. "Well, aren't you going to read his message?"
Matt frowned and turned his attention to the email on Izzy's laptop. It said:
Matt,
This isn't about what you want or what Tai wants. This is about what Sora wants, and both of you are just going to have to accept that. I always thought Tai and Sora were really close. How do you know Sora doesn't have feelings for Tai, too? She has the right to choose who she wants to be with, and I know she would never want to hurt either one of you. No matter what happens, you can't break off your friendship with Tai. The two of you are important to each other, and you can't let Sora's decision come between you. I'm not saying Sora's cheating on you or anything. I know she would never do that, but her feelings may have changed over the past few months. I think you'd better tell Sora about Tai's feelings. She might be able to help you fix your friendship with him, and that way you'll know for sure who she wants to be with. Trust me, Matt. You need to talk to Sora, and the sooner you do, the better. You and Sora need to come to a decision about Tai's role in your relationship, and when you do, I know it'll give both of you the courage to talk to the guy who defines courage! You have to confront both Tai and Sora. If you don't, you're going to end up losing both of them.
Think about what I've said, at least.
Willis
Matt stared at the words on the screen with his mouth hanging open.
Willis can't be serious. He really thinks Sora might have feelings for Tai? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Why would she be dating me if she's in love with Tai?
"Matt, Willis is right. I really think you should talk to Sora about what's going on with Tai," Joe said softly. "You can talk to your best friend after you've straightened things out with your girlfriend first."
"But-"
"Matt, Tai doesn't hate you," Izzy interrupted. "You said it yourself. He cares about you, and he feels like you've let him down because you failed to understand why he has been so miserable lately. Do you really think he would have remained loyal to you if he truly hated you? No, quite the opposite actually."
"Tai has never tried to ruin your relationship with Sora," Joe said quietly. "That fact alone proves just how important you are to him. He chose you over Sora because he did not want to risk losing your friendship. He knew there was no guarantee he could win Sora's heart, and he realized his slim chance at a relationship with her wasn't worth the risk of losing you. How can you sit there and tell me he hates you?"
Joe's right. Tai's definitely angry with me, but that doesn't necessarily mean he hates me. Besides, what if...what if Willis is right? What if Sora does have feelings for Tai? When I was younger, I thought Sora was going to end up with Tai. She really seemed to care about him, and I thought for sure their relationship was going to end up turing into something that went beyond friendship. That's why I was really surprised when I found out Sora wanted to be my girlfriend. Willis definitely knows what he's talking about. This isn't about me or Tai. Sora's perfectly capable of choosing who she wants to be with on her own, and nothing either one of does is going to make her change her mind about who she wants to date. We can't make her date either one of us if she really doesn't want to. Sora would not have gone out with me if she didn't love me, but maybe her feelings have changed. She has been acting rather distant lately. After all, Sora, Tai, and I are only human. Sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes our feelings change. Sometimes they're placed upon someone else until we find that special person who was the one we were waiting for all along. Maybe that's why Mimi persists in hanging around in my head no matter how hard I try to push her to the back of my mind...
"Matt, are you alright?" Izzy asked, looking extremely concerned. "Willis wrote some pretty shocking things in his email, especially the part about Sora being in love with Tai. That idea never even occured to me..."
Matt hugged himself and managed a weak smile. "Yes, I'm fine," he whispered. "I never realized Willis knew so much about friendship. Thank him for me and tell him I'm grateful for his advice. I'm glad you told him about what's going on, Izzy. If you hadn't, I'd still have no idea what to do about Tai and Sora."
No one ever said having a best friend was going to be easy, but that's okay. The hardest things in life are the things that are worth fighting for, and I'm not going to lose my best friend to someone like that jerk Nori! Tai and I had ended up suffering a lot of heartache just to become best friends in the first place, and I'm not going to let our efforts go to waste. Tai was right. We were always meant to be best friends, and I'm going to prove it to him!
"Matt, hey! Where are you going?" Joe called out.
Matt paused at the door to Izzy's room and turned to look back at his two friends who were staring at him in astonishment.
"I'm going home," he said softly. "I need some time to think, and tomorrow morning I'm going to make sure I talk to Sora as soon as possible. Willis took the time to offer me advice, and it wouldn't be very nice of me if I chose to ignore his efforts to help me, would it? Bye, guys. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Izzy looked like he wanted to say something, but Matt quickly left the room, and for the first time that day, he felt like there was a chance his friendship with Tai was going to survive after all.