Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.
A/N: Not so long a wait this time. Poor Sora. I'd hate to be in her position. That's about all I have to say about this chapter. Please review!
My Best Friend's Girlfriend
Chapter 24: What Needs to Be Said
Sora Takenouchi
Sora climbed the school steps at a slow pace and wearily rubbed her eyes. She had been unable to sleep the night before because her mind had been filled with thoughts of Tai.
Mimi's right. I have to talk to Matt, but I'm not exactly sure what I should say to him. He needs to know how I feel about Tai, and Tai needs to know the truth, as well, but I don't know if I can bring myself to tell either one of them what's going on. Matt's going to get hurt no matter what I say, but I really don't have a choice anymore. I have to tell him, and I have to tell Tai, too. I wonder what Tai will say when he finds out I'm in love with him...
Sora let out a sigh and shook her head. "Life would be a lot easier if there were no such thing as love," she muttered to herself.
Unfortunately, without love, it would also be a lot more lonely. After all, the Crest of Love is a part of me, and I wouldn't be the same person I am today without it.
She had promised Mimi she would talk to Matt and Tai, and there was no way she was going to go back on her promise. Mimi was right. Matt and Tai deserved to know the truth.
Matt's going to find out about my feelings eventually, and I think he'll handle the news a lot better if I tell him the truth myself. I don't want my boyfriend to think I've been keeping secrets from him or anything, and I know that's exactly what he'll believe if he finds out the truth himself. I'd better talk to him first. He needs to understand why I've changed my mind about our relationship. I want to fix things with him before I reveal my feelings to Tai because that way there'll be no tension between us. Everything will be out in the open. I'll be able to tell Tai how I feel without betraying Matt and myself. I know Matt will understand why I'm in love with Tai, and I hope he'll be able to let me go. I care about him a lot, but I can't date him anymore. How can I possibly be his girlfriend when I can't stop thinking about Tai?
Over the past few years, Tai had made it pretty clear he did not love her, but a part of her could not help hoping he might have changed his mind since then. No matter how hard she tried, she could not push her love for him away anymore, and even if they only remained friends after her confession, at least she would not be left wondering what might have been between them. She wanted to make sure she had done everything she could to try and have a relationship with him before she finally gave up on her dream.
It doesn't matter what Tai says. My heart will always belong to him, and no one else is ever going to take his place. Besides, I have to think about my boyfriend's feelings, too. Matt deserves to be with someone who loves him, and I don't want to give him any false hopes about our relationship. I know he'll understand, and I hope the two of us will still be friends after today. I don't want our relationship to end badly, and I know Matt won't want that either, but if I can't be with Tai, then it's better for everyone if I stay single. No guy deserves to be in a relationship with a girl whose heart belongs to someone else, and I have MImi to thank for that little piece of wisdom.
"I hope Matt will be able to move on with his life," she said softly. "He has always been a very sensitive person, and I know he really cares about me. He gets hurt very easily, and I don't want him to be miserable because of me. Where's Mimi when I need her? I could really use some support right about now."
Unfortunately Mimi was nowhere to be seen.
She's avoiding me. I know she is, but why? Is she hiding something from me? That doesn't make any sense. Why would she lie to me about what went on at Tai's apartment a few days ago? I just don't get it. Why won't she tell me what's going on? I have to find out what her secret is because I have a feeling it's going to affect all of us, and that might not necessarily be a good thing...
"I better go find Matt before I accidentally end up running into Tai," she said quietly to herself. "I can figure out what's gong on with Mimi later. I don't want to do anything behind Matt's back, and that means I'm going to have to avoid Tai as much as possible until I have a chance to speak with my boyfriend."
She quickly hurried down the hallway and spotted Matt standing next to his locker with Izzy. The two of them were talking quietly to one another, and Matt's sapphire eyes were sparkling with uneasiness.
"Hey, guys," she said softly.
Matt looked up at the sound of her voice, and Izzy glanced nervously in her direction. "Hey, Sora," the computer expert said cheerfully, plastering a false smile on his face.
Sora frowned at him and turned to look at Matt. Her heart was pounding with fear, and she felt like she was going to be sick. Unfortunately there was nothing she could do to stop her nerves from showing, and she had a strange feeling Matt already knew what she was going to say.
How am I going to go through with this? There has to be another way, but deep down I know there isn't. Well, there's no turning back now. I better get this over with before I lose my nerve otherwise I'll never work up enough courage to tell him about my feelings for Tai.
"Yolei's probably looking for me. I should go find her before she starts taking her anger out on Tai and Mimi. I'll see you guys later, okay?" Izzy said, edging away from them.
Matt glared at the computer expert and sighed. "Alright. I'll see you later, Izzy."
Izzy was gone in a flash, and Sora slowly turned to look at Matt.
"I need to talk to you," they said at the exact same time.
Sora smiled nervously at him and wrapped her arms around herself. "Why don't we go outside and talk?" she said softly. "There's plenty of time to say what needs to be said before the bell rings."
"Okay," Matt mumbled.
The two of them headed out into the sunshine and quickly moved away from the school in order to avoid the other students. They sat down under a large tree on the front lawn, and Sora smiled up at the bright, sunny sky. "I'm so glad the rain finally stopped. Mimi and I almost drowned in it yesterday."
"Me, too," Matt murmured.
Sora frowned at the blond sitting across from her and studied his face. He did not seem at all surprised by her sudden desire to talk to him. In fact, he had not even blinked or cracked a smile when they had spoken the same words out loud to one another.
Does he know what I'm going to say to him already? He can't. Mimi's the only one who knows how I feel about Tai, and I know she would never give away my secret even if she is avoiding me. Still... that's the only reason I can come up with to explain why he suddenly wants to talk to me so badly. Yesterday he wouldn't even look at me, and he cancelled our movie date. Why has he suddenly decided not to avoid me anymore?
She had a strong feeling she did not want to know the answer to her own question and quickly put it out of her mind.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked softly, reaching out and taking his hand.
Matt closed his eyes and leaned back against the tree they were sitting under, his face a mask of emotions. "I could ask you the same thing," he murmured.
What's that supposed to mean? I guess he's still mad at me for keeping the truth about Tai's soccer game a secret from him. Maybe that's what he wants to talk to me about. I might not have to break up with him after all. In the end, I think he's going to be the one who breaks up with me.
Sora's eyes filled with tears and she gently wrapped her arms around Matt's neck. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her cheek coming to rest against his shoulder. "I should have told you the truth about Tai's soccer game, but I was scared you'd end up hating him if I did."
Matt sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Sora, I'm sorry I cancelled our date, but I felt like I had no other choice. I know you want to help me, but that doesn't give you the right to keep secrets from me. I feel like I can't trust you anymore, and you know I can't stand being hurt by other people. You're my girlfriend. We're supposed to be able to tell each other everything."
"I know," Sora whispered.
Matt smiled sadly at her and shook his head. "Sora, I want to forgive you, but I don't know if I can. I can understand why you'd want to keep the news about Tai a secret from me if he had asked you to, but he didn't. I was mad at Mimi for the same reason, and she promised me she'd be honest with me from now on. Do you think you could make the same promise?"
Sora's mouth dropped open, and she stared at him in shock. "Mimi," she whispered. "When did you talk to Mimi?"
"I talked to her yesterday morning," Matt mumbled, his face turning pink. "Sora, I know you won't always be able to tell me everything because I have no right to ask you about other peoples' secrets, but that doesn't mean you have to leave me in the dark about what's going on. I won't ask any questions if you let me know you're keeping a secret for someone else. All of us deserve a little bit of privacy. I realize that now, and I'm willing to forgive you if you promise me you'll always be honest with me from now on. I asked Mimi to make the same promise, and she agreed. Do you think you'll be able to, as well?"
Sora hugged her boyfriend tightly and kissed his cheek. "Yes," she whispered in his ear. "Oh, Matt, I really am sorry. I promise I'll always be honest with you even if I can't tell you exactly what's going on."
"Thank you," Matt said quietly.
Sora barely heard him. She was finding it very difficult to concentrate on what he was saying because she could not stop thinking about Mimi.
I knew she was hiding something from me! I don't understand. Why didn't she tell me about her conversation with Matt earlier? What exactly happened between them?
The thought of Mimi keeping secrets from her made her heart ache, but she did not have time to worry about it too much. Right now her focus was Matt, and she had to concentrate on telling him about her feelings for Tai.
"Matt, I never meant to hurt you," she said quietly. "Tai's your best friend, and I don't want you to push him away anymore. I know how much you guys care about each other, and you can't let anything stand in the way of your friendship."
Matt smiled softly and rested his cheek against her carrot coloured hair. "Willis said the exact same thing to me in his e-mail."
"What does Willis have to do with anything?" Sora asked, feeling confused.
"Sometimes it takes someone looking in from the outside to make you see what was right in front of your face the whole time," Matt mumbled. "I guess that means he was right about everything else, too."
Sora frowned and snuggled against his chest. "What are you talking about? You're really starting to confuse me, you know that?"
"You're really worried about Tai, aren't you?" Matt said quietly, watching her closely.
Sora blushed and slowly nodded. "I wish I knew what was wrong with him. He has been acting so strange lately, and I don't think there's anything we can do to help him. I talked to him yesterday, and he told me you hurt him, but that doesn't make any sense. What could you have possibly done to hurt him?"
Matt's sapphire eyes began to sparkle with tears, and he gently stroked her hair. "Sora, I already know what's wrong with Tai," he whispered.
Sora let out a gasp and stared at him in shock. "You do? Why didn't you say so earlier? Please, Matt, you have to tell me what's wrong with him. How did you find out? Did he actually tell you? He told me he didn't want you getting too close to the truth because you'd never be able to forgive him if you knew what was really going on. Oh, Matt, I've never been so worried about him in my life. Please tell me what's going on."
Matt stared silently at her for a moment, and a sad smile slipped across his face. "I spent last night trying to decide what to say to you, but now I realize you've already made my decision for me."
Sora hugged him tightly and placed her hand against his cheek. "Matt, I don't understand, what-"
Matt stared directly into her eyes and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "You don't love me," he whispered, his face a mask of sorrow. "You love Tai."