Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings.

Chapter Eighteen

The Fellowship landed in Minas Tirith, and Denethor hurried out to greet them. "Boromir!" he called, embracing his older son. Boromir smiled, a fake smile, but it worked.

"Faramir," the Steward glared. "You brought bad weather with you! Look! Candy everywhere! Fizzy little drinks in bright colored cans, everywhere! It's a mess!"

Faramir sighed, not even surprised anymore that his father thought it was all his fault.

But Pippin was amazed. "It's not his fault! What do you expect him to do about the weather? Do you think he wants Minas Tirith buried in candy? And even if he did, do you think he has that kind of power, to control the weather? Wow, he must be very powerful."

"Of course he isn't," Denethor sputtered. "But he brought Gandalf, and Gandalf can certainly play those kinds of tricks."

"Tricks!" Gandalf exclaimed, and immediately he began to glow a bright Vanilla-Cream.

Denethor shielded his eyes. "Enough already! We've already got Mordor making sky-high columns of weird green light and thunderstorms day and night; we don't need a fancy light show, too! Turn it off, Gandalf!"

"Say they aren't tricks!"

"All right, all right, they're not tricks."

Gandalf the Vanilla-Cream went back to his normal light. "That's better."

"So what do you want?" Denethor demanded.

"We came to help."

"Baloney."

"All right, we came here to get away from the wargs."

"That's more like it." He glared at Aragorn. "But it's not everything."

Aragorn raised an eyebrow, wishing he could disappear.

"Hey, I can't do that," Denethor complained.

"Huh?" Aragorn asked, confused.

"That thing you just did with your eyebrows."

"What, this?" He did it again.

"Yeah, that."

"Oh, well, that's nothing. You just do it."

"Hey, look at this!" Merry called, sticking out his tongue and touching the end of his nose.

The Fellowship was soon full of people revealing their hidden talents.

"Hey, look, I can bend this joint of my finger without moving the others!"

"I can wiggle my ears!"

"I can stand on my head!"

"I can do cartwheels!"

"I can hit that fish in the river from way up here!"

Everyone turned to Legolas. "What fish?" Gimli demanded.

"That one."

"That's a log."

"No, next to the log."

"There's nothing next to the log."

"Sure there is. See, it just moved."

"Where?" Pippin asked.

"There."

"So do it."

"Do what?"

"Hit it."

"Well, I can't right now. I left my bow at Edoras."

"Oh, don't worry," Faramir called, hurrying off. "I'll find you one." He returned shortly. "Here you go."

"Hannon le."

"Lle creoso."

Legolas raised an eyebrow. "Hey!" Denethor shouted.

"All right, all right," Legolas said, aiming his bow. The arrow flew down, down, down, and across, and into the river. But had it hit a fish?

"I'll check!" Pippin called, climbing back onto his eagle. He flew down and picked something up out of the water. As he flew back, the others saw that it was, indeed, a fish.

"Ha," Legolas beamed. "Told you."

"That's not a fish," Gimli objected. "Just look at it. It's all bones and scales."

"Of course it's a fish. It's just a skinny fish, which makes it even harder to hit," bragged Legolas.

Gimli mumbled something under his breath but decided it was better not to say it out loud.

"Fisssssssh," came a voice.

Legolas whirled around, and nearly bumped into Gollum, who grinned and snatched the fish from Pippin, and began to eat it greedily.

"How did you get here?" Legolas demanded, glad that was the only thing he had taken from the Ringbearer.

"Friend brought usssss, yessss, Precioussss," Gollum hissed, but when the others looked around, they could see no one, 'friend' or otherwise.

"Well, just make sure you don't cause trouble," Denethor warned, "by order of the Lord and Steward of Gondor."

"Oh, but not for long, no, Precioussss."

Denethor took a step backwards in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Aragorn hurried forward and covered Gollum's fish-filled mouth with his hand. "Nothing."

"Then what I thought is true."

Aragorn glanced over at the Vanilla-Cream Wizard. "Gandalf, how does he know?"

"Oh, Saruman told me," Denethor shrugged. "Not that he's completely reliable these days, but I think he's right about this one."

"You have a Palantir?" Pippin exclaimed.

Every eye turned to Pippin. "How did you know that?" Denethor asked.

"How do you even know what a Palantir is?" Gandalf added.

"I . . . I . . . d . don't know," Pippin stammered. "It just sort of came to me." He brightened. "I was right?"

"Yes," Denethor glared, now looking at Aragorn again. "Heir of Isildur, eh? King of Gondor? You certainly don't look it."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Sure it was."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Not."

"Too."

"Not."

"Too."

Gandalf the Vanilla-Cream picked up a Dr. Pepper that was lying around. This could go on for a while. Everyone sat down to watch the two of them argue. Denethor splashed a Mountain Dew in Aragorn's face. Aragorn hit Denethor in the head with a Kit-Kat bar.

On and on they went. Soldiers came out to see what was going on. The Eagles flew back and forth with more random Rohan people. Soon Minas Tirith was full. And yet Denethor and Aragorn didn't seem about to stop.

"We have to make them stop," Merry complained.

"What are they arguing about, anyway?" asked Radagast, who had just arrived via eagle.

Pippin shrugged. "I think they just don't like each other. Kinda like Legolas and Gimli."

"At least we know when to stop," Legolas sighed.

"Yeah," Gimli agreed as Denethor hurled an empty can at Aragorn's head. "We never went on for this long."

"You would have at Council if Pippin hadn't interrupted," Faramir pointed out.

"Yeah, but that was Council," Legolas agreed.

"Everyone was arguing," Gimli nodded.

"See," Pippin sighed. "At least you can agree on some things. Look at them."

"Give them time," Gandalf the Vanilla-Cream shrugged. "They've only known each other for a little while. They'll learn to like each other."

Everyone there nearly choked on the candy they were eating, and then burst out laughing.

But they gave them time. Hours, in fact. And eventually they did stop throwing things. Denethor stormed back into his room and Aragorn flopped down onto a pile of candy wrappers that had accumulated.

Faramir smiled. "Wow, he likes you almost as much as me."

Aragorn laughed. "I don't know how you put up with him."

"Well, I usually try to avoid him. Stay at Osgiliath. Go off to Rivendell. Anywhere, as long as I'm out of his sight and he's out of mine."

The Ranger sighed. "Well, that won't help me. If I'm ever made King, we'll have to see each other every day."

Pippin grinned, a strange light in his eyes. "Maybe not."

Ice Ember -- Well, he just had another idea. :)

SNAITF -- Yeah, it looks whiter at night. Or when he's trying to scare everyone. :)

Elven Jedi -- Yeah, Pippin is one of the last people you'd ever expect to get the Ring. Except Gollum, that is.

Jedi Knight247 -- Glad you like it. I actually got the vanilla-cream idea from my dad, some stupid joke he made. :)