Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is not mine. The idea Pippin just had, however, is completely mine. :)

Chapter Nineteen

"What do you mean, Peregrin?" Gandalf asked. "You have a plan?" Pippin nodded and whispered his plan to the Wizard. Legolas burst out laughing.

"What?" Gimli asked. "What did he say?"

"You'll see," Legolas grinned.

Gandalf nodded. "We'll try it. Go find Denethor." Pippin ran off to find the Steward.

"If he's coming back, I'm out of here," Aragorn protested. He started to leave, but Legolas and Gimli grabbed him by the arms. Pippin came back dragging Denethor by the hand, his other hand behind his back.

"Right," Gandalf the Vanilla-Cream grinned. "Now, Pippin has had an idea, which is in itself an amazing occurrence, but it would appear that our little Hobbit friend has recently experienced random bursts of intelligence from a source as yet unknown. Thus, his plan, however ridiculous-sounding, must be considered and paid attention to, for it may be that he is correct. Therefore, I have decided that his plan should be put into action, with regard to the difficulties the two of you seem to have regarding the rule of Gondor, as well as the appearance of a king and what is considered to be a compliment. In view of this . . ."

"What is he saying?" Merry asked. Pippin shrugged.

Legolas yawned. "At least when you Dwarves ramble, Gimli, you ramble about something. He's rambling about nothing!"

"Way to state the obvious, Laddie. I think I'll have another Pepsi. Tell me when he's done."

Gandalf didn't notice, but continued to make his speech, explaining, among random other things, the necessity for the King and the Steward to work well together, or at least tolerate each other. At first, his remarks were penetrated by several "hrumphs," but as he droned on, he lost almost everyone's attention and no one bothered to contradict him.

"A concern has been expressed by Aragorn," Gandalf continued in a monotone, "that the two of you will be forced to see each other every day. This is . . ."

Pippin nudged Merry. "Here we go."

". . . not entirely accurate, although certainly a valid concern."

"Gandalf," Pippin whispered. "They're asleep."

Indeed, both Aragorn and Denethor were sleeping soundly, laying on the ground, lulled to sleep by the altogether boring speech, which only Pippin and Legolas had really paid attention to, waiting for this moment.

"Well, it's about time," Gandalf complained. "I thought I'd have to do that forever! Now, quickly, did you find what you needed?"

Pippin produced two long pieces of cloth and a rope from behind his back. "All ready, Gandalf."

Merry grinned, instantly picking up on his cousin's plan. "All right! Let's do it!"

"Hurry, before they wake up!"

Aragorn yawned and opened his eyes. At least, he tried to open his eyes. Startled, he leapt to his feet, or at least tried to. He was held down by his left arm, which was tied to something heavy.

"Huh, what?" Denethor mumbled in his sleep. Aragorn yanked on his left arm, and Denethor was suddenly wide awake. "What's going on?" he shouted. The King and Steward both tried to get to their feet, but ran into each other. Eventually, the succeeded, both breathing hard.

Pippin grinned. "Like my plan? Now you won't have to see each other; you're both blindfolded. But you'll have to learn to work together; Aragorn, we tied your left wrist to Denethor's right. Oh, don't bother trying to undo it; Sam tied it."

"This is your idea?" Aragorn shouted.

"Well, not entirely. I just wanted to blindfold you. The rope thing was Gandalf's idea."

"And the long speech?"

"To get you to fall asleep, of course," Gandalf explained, "though it took longer than I'd expected, and I had to go off on several tangents. I don't suppose you were paying attention to the one about you and the twins."

"I'm afraid not."

"Too bad," Legolas said brightly. "It was really quite funny."

Aragorn sighed. "So now what? It looks like Pippin has forgotten a little something. If I'm going to Mordor with y'all, we're going to have to drag him along, too."

"Mordor?" Denethor asked. "Why would you want to go to Mordor?"

"Here it comes," Faramir warned.

"We're going to destroy this Ring," Pippin said cheerily, holding it up, forgetting for a moment that Denethor couldn't see it.

"What?" the Steward erupted. "No, you can't destroy the Ring of Power! It should be used to protect the city of Minas Tirith! Do you have any idea how impossible it would be to even get into Mordor, to say nothing of going to Mount Doom to throw that Ring in the fire!"

"Hey, how did you know that's where we're going?" Pippin asked.

"Well, it's only kind of obvious. What else is there in Mordor? A bunch of rocks and some dirt. Oh, and about ten thousand Orcs!"

Pippin grinned. "I like the way you said it better, Boromir. It was certainly more convincing."

Boromir smiled. "I wasn't this angry, either."

"Faramir, this is all your fault!" Denethor shouted. No one bothered to ask how he had come to that conclusion.

"It is not his fault," Aragorn objected. "You leave Faramir alone!"

"And what are you going to do to stop me, you worthless Ranger? You think you will ever give orders here while I live?"

"Authority is not given to you to deny the return of the King, Steward!" Gandalf shouted.

"Sure it is!" Denethor and Aragorn said in unison.

Pippin beamed. "They can agree!"

"Not exactly what I would've wanted them to agree on, but it's a start," Gandalf the Vanilla-Cream agreed.

Gimli laughed. "Come on, let's go see if they have any food around here." He headed off, followed by the people of Rohan, who were by now rather hungry.

"How're we supposed to eat like this?" Denethor demanded. "We can't see!"

Pippin shrugged. "Well, you still have one free hand."

"My left one! I'm right-handed!"

"Theoden's left-handed."

"I don't care if Theoden is left-handed. You think that just because the ruler of Rohan is left-handed, the ruler of Gondor should be, too?"

"Well, it certainly would solve your problem," Pippin grinned. "Maybe Theoden knows something you don't."

"I don't care what Theoden knows!" Denethor shouted. "I order you to untie us this instant!"

"Sorry, I take orders from the Vanilla-Cream Wizard, not the Steward of Gondor."

Gandalf rolled his eyes. "I liked 'The White Wizard' better."

"Oh, well, I only take important orders from you."

Aragorn smiled. "Come on, let's go eat. Which way?"

"Beats me," Denethor shrugged. "I got all turned around when I woke up."

Suddenly, there was the sound of glass breaking, and a Dwarf singing loudly, clearly drunk. "This way," Aragorn tugged.

"What are they doing?" Denethor demanded.

"Your guess is as good as mine." They headed through the door, making it through on the third try.

Merry grinned. "I think it's working. That was a good plan, Pip."

Pippin nodded. "Let's go eat."

Celebrian of the Golden Wood -- I think the two of us are going to have to agree to disagree on that point, mellon nin. Elrond is half-elven, or close enough to it. Okay, you remember Luthien and Beren? Luthien was an Elf and Beren wasa human. They had a kid named Dior -- half human, half Elf. He married an Elf named (checking back of Silmarillion) Nimloth. Yeah, her. They had a kid named Elwing -- 75 percentElf, 25 percent human, if you follow me. She was Elrond's mom. Now for his dad's side. Earendil was the son of (once again checking back of book) Idril, an Elf, and Tuor, a human. So Earendil was half-Elf, half-human. So, if you want to get technical, Elrond is 62.5 percentElf and 37.5 percent human, but it's so much simpler to just say half and half. Whew, I'm done.

The Mushroom Commander -- Oh, Denethor gets on your nerves? I can't imagine why. :) He seems to bug everyone. I actually like Denethor, and they did a much better job with him than they did in the animated version where they completely massacred everything and didn't even put Legolas and Gimli and Faramir and Eomer in. If you haven't seen it, don't bother; it's terrible. Except for the music; that's okay, actually kind of good. But the plot is messed up almost beyond recognition.

Jedi Knight 247 -- Yeah, arguments are so easy to write. :)

SNAITF -- Your brother likes to argue, too, huh? Sounds like my sister and my mom. :)

Ice Ember -- Well, I guess it is kind of a sort of comfort. Moreso just amusing. You get to see a lot of someone's personality in how they argue, whether they stay calm or just try to shout the other person's head off. :)

xWhit3StaRx -- Yeah, I figured that out after I posted it. I went to the reviews for chapter 17, so I didn't get everyone who reviewed a different chapter.

Elven Jedi -- :) That's what my sister said, too. "Pippin?" :) Then we both laughed our heads off.

White Stone -- :) Yeah, most of the random comments came from when my sister and I were watching the movies really late at night on too much sugar and chips and soda, and too little sleep. At least, that's where most of the ones at Council came from. :) We've seen the movies too many times for our own good, but they're terrific!