Chapter 2

I WANT A FLAMETHROWER!

Mario stood in the plains of the Fields of Toads. He stared at the red costumed guy's girlfriend. His mouth was open wide and he was ready to drool.

"What's your name?" he asked the blue costumed girl.

"My name's Silvia," she replied.

Woah…she's hot… Mario thought. Luigi having a similar mind of Mario read his thought. ESP it seemed for our Luigi. Luigi, unfortunately, couldn't agree more with Mario. Viewtiful Joe simply looked at them. Then he turned around to Silvia, his girlfriend, and frowned.

"You didn't have to come," Joe murmured.

"But I wanted to help you!" Silvia said quietly.

"Yeah, I understand but these guys are staring at you like some model!"

Silvia turned her attention to Mario and Luigi to find that Joe was correct.

"OK, OK, so maybe I shouldn't have come, but without me, there won't be any females in this story!" she said. "It's only right for women to be in a story! Or else people would just think that it's a homosexual story!"

Joe laughed and turned back to the Mario Bros. beginning to disgustingly drool.

"While we're on this journey," Joe started, "I would not like you to continue doing that with Silvia. If this continues, it'll interfere with your battle phases!"

Luigi nodded, snapping back into reality. Unfortunately, Mario had been still gazing at Silvia with interest. Joe sighed.

"This is what happens when Silvia's here," he said to Luigi. "Now you're going to have to witness the aftermath of this."

Joe pulled up his sleeves and cracked his knuckles. With that he dragon punched Mario in the face. Before Mario's drool could touch the floor he was knocked out of his feet and into the air. When he landed back on the ground he snapped and retained his residual self. But as Mario got up, he was knocked down again by an enormous spiky shell. The sky grew dark and red and the sunshine had faded. Most Toads throughout the Mushroom area raced back into their houses and secured the doors. The shell spun until it bounced on the ground. Bowser popped out of the shell, looking as menacing as usual and fangs bearing Mario getting up once again looked at Bowser frustrated.

"OK, Bowser," he said threateningly.

"I gonna flame you until you turn into nothing more than a black nothingness!"

Just as Mario was to throw a fire punch at our useless Bowser a black shadow appeared in between them and blocked the attack with his sword. The blade deflected the flame and slashed it into nothing at all. From his shadowy cape came blood red eyes and a disfigured, devious grin. To great spikes curled like a V shape on his dark helmet and his clothes were covered with black shadow. Emperor Jet Black had appeared and slashed Mario. His sword sliced through his clothes marking Mario with a bloody slit. Luigi grinned again thinking it necessary to impersonate Keanu Reeve's Neo, he took out dark shades.

Putting them on he said coolly, "It's Neo time."

Instead of a normal Luigi with sunglasses, his green hat turned black and instead of wearing a green shirt and jeans, he wore a black trench coat and black pants. Fully transformed he walked towards Bowser and Emperor Jet Black.

"Hiya, fellas," he said politely.

"You can't beat ME," Jet Black said slickly.

Luigi was lost. What was he supposed to say after that? Instead of repeating his first line again (which he planned to do) he threw a punch at Jet Black's face. For the first time, in many, he actually made the villainous villain fly off the ground and a few feet away from where Mario lay. Smushing (I know it's a weird word) some of the beautiful grass and berries of the Fields of Toads he got up furiously and took out his sword. He BEAT me…ME! he thought hopelessly. I can't believe some punk who watched "The Matrix" trilogies beat ME! Glorious ME! This is ruining my reputation!

Bowser let out a little fact due to the fact that that same punch had happen to him earlier that day. Bowser then reacting to this turned to Luigi and opened his mandibles of death. With out question he let out a roar. Shades blown off he cast a worried look over his face. His hand was protecting his face and his left leg was up. When Bowser had stopped roaring, Luigi smiled and took a small box out of his pocket.

"M-m-m-mints?" he asked nervously.

Bowser roared again creating Luigi to turn around a run around in circles like a sissy screaming. Bowser looked with a skeptical look in his face and the laughed malevolently.

"AHAHAHAHA!" he chortled madly. "I, the great Bowser, have defeated one of the pitiful Mario Bros.!"

Just as Bowser was going to add in a very lame victory dance he was whacked in the behind and was lifted into the air. Mario holding a tennis racket had signaled Luigi to get his tennis racket out too. Luigi concurred and whacked Bowser back. Screaming in brutal agony, Bowser cried for help. But our villainous villain was doing something else, momentarily. In sight of Viewtiful Joe and Silvia he went and created an awful burly brawl. Multiplying into numerous of Jet Blacks he had circled around Viewtiful Joe and Silvia. With a grin, Silvia took out her guns and started blasting heart shaped lasers at the numerous of Jet Blacks multiplying numerously. Viewtiful Joe on the other hand never knew of his foe's multiplying abilities and difficulties had risen. With that Viewtiful Joe used a VFX effect and slowed down time.

Rushing down to the nearest store (the only one that kept moving) Joe demanded a flamethrower from the store.

"One flamethrower, please," Joe asked the store keeper.

"Show me the money first," said the store keeper.

"Look, I'm kind of battling my arch enemy here and could use one of your flamethrowers."

"Show me the money first!"

"Don't make me slap you! I want a flamethrower!"

"Show me the damn money first!"

"I WANT A FLAMETHROWER!"

"SHOW ME THE MONEY FIRST!"

Joe sighing finally gave up and paid the storekeeper mushroom coins that he converted. With the flamethrower at hand, he raced back to the brawl and time snapped back again. Whilst Joe was having fun with a flamethrower, Mario and Luigi continued playing tennis.

"15 Love," Luigi said.

He threw Bowser with all his might up into the air and smacked him down across the net. Bowser screamed with mercy but without even noticing the loud wails of Bowser, Mario ran across his side of the court and whacked it back to Luigi.

A few pain staking hours later…

"OW!" Bowser cried rubbing his poor bright red buttocks. "GENTALLY! GENTALLY!" Roy, one of Bowser's younger siblings, slapped on a gigantic bandage on his bruised up bottom. Emperor Jet Black, on the other hand, had lay on Bowser's hospital bed right next to Bowser's throne, all burned and severely injured.

"Well THAT went well!" Bowser said angrily at Jet Black.

"Shut up! I mostly did all the fighting!" Jet Black fired back.

"We both were whipped like whipping cream on strawberries," Bowser said.

"Dude, that doesn't make any sense at all," Jet Black said.

Instantaneously, a bird came in through the Great Door of Bowser and dropped them a message that read:

Dear King Bowser and Emperor Jet Black,

Nice going there I hope Bowser's buttocks just fell off.

And instantly Bowser's buttocks drooped and fell off. Bowser screamed, hands slapped on his cheeks, of the horrible sight.

Anyway, Emperor Jet Black, you should know better than to make a portal and crossover to the Shigeru Miyamoto plane. Although Emperor Jet Black and you (Bowser) have tried to eliminate us, you have failed miserably. I mean in Joe's matter, you totally suck. S o try and kill us again and we'll thwart your miserable plan. One more thing before we leave you alone: Seriously when you roar at people, make sure you minty breath.

Sincerely,

The Viewtiful Mario Bros.

PS: I'd like to say this again: YOU WERE TOTALLY WHIPPED LIKE ICING ON A CAKE!

Sincerely,

Viewtiful Joe

Having read this Bowser and Emperor Jet Black looked at each other darkly. They said the words that only come out from the Imperial army from Star Wars.

They both struck the air and cried, "CURSE YOU REBEL SCUM!"