A/N: Another chapter finished, and poor Tai is going to get quite a shock! And as always, please review!
My Best Friend's Girlfriend
Chapter 27: Friendship Comes First
Tai Kamiya
"Well?" Matt asked, his sapphire eyes glittering with emotion.
Tai studied the cool expression on his best friend's face and smiled slightly. "Yes, I think our friendship is strong enough to survive anything. I wasn't sure before, but I am now."
Matt bit his lip and slowly nodded. "I guess that's a start."
He doesn't sound too sure of himself. Why can't he see how much I care about him? I know I'm in love with Sora, but she's never going to feel the same way about me, and even if she did I still wouldn't try to have a relationship with her. I couldn't betray Matt like that even if I wanted to. My heart won't let me, and that's why I know I'm making the right decision. Matt's and Sora's happiness comes first. Mine is just going to have to wait.
"Matt, I lied to you about my soccer game because I was afraid to be alone with you," he blurted, in an effort to explain why he had been such a jerk. "I was scared you'd find out about my feelings for Sora, and yet, at the same time, I wanted you to understand why I was so upset, but I was afraid it would ruin our friendship. I thought I was going to end up saying something I regretted."
"You really thought I'd be angry at you for falling in love with my girlfriend?"
Tai glanced anxiously at the blond and swallowed a lump in his throat. "Aren't you?"
"No." Matt let out a sigh and turned his face away. "Tai, I'm not mad at you for being in love with Sora. I'm mad at you for not telling me you were in love with her. Actually, forget I said that. I'm not even mad. I'm...upset."
"Upset? You're upset? What about me?"
Tai felt a sudden stab of pain in his heart, and he hit his best friend hard in the chest. He could not believe what he had just heard. I thought he cared about me, but obviously he only cares about himself! He doesn't even seem to realize how much he has hurt me!
"Hey, what was that for?" Matt shouted, looking annoyed.
Tai glared at his best friend and realized his whole body was trembling with anger and outrage. "Matt, I was scared to be around you because you've always been able to read my emotions, and I thought there was a chance you'd find out what was wrong with me. I was afraid you were going to hate me, and yet a part of me believed you would understand why I've been so angry at you lately. How can you be so insensitive? You hurt me, and you don't even care!"
"Tai-"
"What is wrong with you, Matt?" he snapped, his voice trembling with fear and sadness. "I thought you knew me, but I guess I was wrong. Why didn't you figure it out? How could you have acted like such a jerk after everything I've done for you!"
He tried to hit his best friend again, but the blond grabbed him by the wrist and pushed him away. "Tai, will you quit it? I thought I was supposed to be the violent one! You're not exactly making this conversation any easier for either one of us, you know."
Tai turned his back on his best friend and gazed across the classroom at the chalkboard. He could not even read what was written on it because his eyes were blinded by tears. He hates me. He really hates me.
"All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy, but that doesn't matter, does it," he whispered after a painful moment of silence. "You were supposed to find out about my feelings for Sora, but you didn't. I feel like I don't even know you anymore! Real friends are supposed to understand each other completely, but obviously we don't. I've sacrificed so much for you, and you act like it doesn't matter! Don't I mean anything to you anymore?"
"Tai, I did find out about your feelings for Sora on my own. I guess that means we do understand each other after all."
Tai felt Matt's arms go around him, and he quickly jerked away from his best friend. "Don't even think about it! You're too late, Matt! You found out too late! You had your chance, and you blew it! There's no use trying to make up for it now!"
"I'm sorry, Tai. You mean everything to me, and I won't let you forget it."
What did he just say?
Tai slowly turned around and stared into his best friend's deep blue eyes. Matt's face was very pale, and there were tears running down his cheeks. He looked like he would have given anything for a chance to make up for his mistakes.
He does care! I know he does. He wouldn't be here if he didn't. What is wrong with me? How could I have said all those horrible things to him? I'm the one who's ruining our friendship, not him!
"Tai-"
Tai collapsed against his best friend's chest and buried his face in the blond's shoulder. "I'm such a selfish jerk. I'm sorry, Matt. This isn't even about me. I'm the one who lied to you, not the other way around."
"Stop it, Tai!" Matt snapped, shaking him roughly by the shoulders. "You're not a jerk! You have just as much right to be upset as I do. I should have known what was wrong with you as soon as you started acting strange around me, but I was too busy worrying about myself to bother with your feelings. You were so obvious. Only an idiot wouldn't have been able to figure out what was going on."
Tai lifted his head and blinked in surprise. "Are you calling the rest of our friends idiots?"
I'm sure Yolei would love that!
Matt let out a shaky laugh and managed a weak smile. "No, but they don't always see what goes on between us, and I can understand how they might have missed something. I, on the other hand, don't have an excuse for being a complete moron."
"You're right about that." Tai pulled away from his best friend and avoided the blond's eyes. He did not know what to say next, but he knew he had to think of something. "I thought our friendship was over when I saw you standing behind me in the lunchroom earlier."
"Is it?" Matt asked quietly, his sapphire eyes growing dark and stormy.
"I thought I already answered that question."
Matt nodded and brushed several tears off his cheeks. "Yes, but I'm not sure if you really believe all the words coming out of your mouth."
Tai pulled Matt into his arms and gave the blond a comforting hug. "Matt, I didn't become best friends with you because it was convenient at the time. I knew you were special right from the very moment we first met, and I wanted to get to know you. Even then I knew I wanted you to be a part of my life. It's like I had this feeling you were going to be important to me somehow. Do you get what I'm trying to say here?"
"You only became best friends with me because I saved your life."
He's kidding, right?
Tai gently rubbed his friend's back and raised his eyebrows. "Matt, all of the Digidestined have helped save my life, and in most cases it happened after I had already established a stable friendship with whoever had saved my sorry butt at one time or another. Trust me, I have a much better reason than that for being best friends with you."
"It's because of the darkness, right? You only became friends with me because I was such a hopeless nutcase," Matt said quietly, his words dull and lifeless.
Tai's mouth fell open, and he gaped at his best friend. "Are you completely insane?" he snapped. "I didn't choose you for a best friend because I pitied you! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"
Matt suddenly pulled away from him, and he found himself gazing into the blond's sad, blue eyes. "Then why did you become best friends with me?" the musician asked quietly.
Oh, Matt, why can't you see how special you are?
"I already told you why! We were meant to be best friends! I knew it as soon as we became Digidestined, and I wasn't going to let you screw everything up!"
"Really? You mean...you're not going to replace me?"
"What?" Tai stared at his friend in confusion and frowned. "What in the Digiworld are you talking about?"
Matt blushed and quickly lowered his eyes to the ground. "Tai, we're so different from each other. Are you sure you really want me for a best friend? I mean, we don't even share any of the same interests or anything. Besides, all I've ever done is hurt you and make you angry. You're probably better off without me always hanging around and ruining your life. Maybe you should pick one of the guys from the soccer team to be your best friend. They, at least, have something in common with you, and-"
Tai clapped a hand over his best friend's mouth and clenched his other hand into a fist. "Matt, if you say one more word I swear I will hit you in the face and hopefully knock some sense into you. How many times do I have to say it? I don't want anyone else for a best friend! I only want you!"
"Are you sure? You're right, you know. I do screw everything up all the time."
Tai frowned and glanced suspiciously at his best friend. "Yes, I'm sure. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Tai, I don't know what I would do without you in my life," Matt said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You've done so much for me, and I don't think I could ever repay you for your loyalty and support. I've always believed there was a possibility you would eventually give up on me and find someone new to hang around with, and it has been eating me up inside. Do you honestly know how much I've suffered as a result?"
Tai stared at his best friend in astonishment and realized his mouth was hanging open again. Does Matt really think I would replace him?
"Tai, aren't you going to say something?" Matt mumbled. "You're making me nervous."
Matt, you idiot! No one is ever going to take your place!
Tai gazed directly into his best friend's sapphire eyes and smiled. "Matt, no one's ever going to take me away from you. I'll die before I let that happen!"
"Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?" Matt whispered, his voice breaking. "I swear I thought you were going to end up becoming best friends with Nori or something."
Nori?
Tai started to laugh, and he gave his best friend a fond smile. "You're not serious, are you? Nori's my least favorite person on the soccer team! I know he's supposed to be my friend, but seriously, Matt, I could never really care about someone who can't see what a great person you are. I refuse to be friends with anyone who doesn't want to be friends with you."
Matt hugged him tightly and did not say a word. The blond looked like he was unable to believe what he had just heard. "Do you really mean that?"
Tai returned the hug and smiled slightly. "Matt, you're my best friend. Of course I mean it. You've been worrying about this for a long time, haven't you? Why? Don't you trust me anymore?"
"Tai, I..."
"Does this mean everything's okay between us again?"
Matt shrugged and avoided his eyes. "I'm sorry, Tai, but we still need to talk about Sora."
"Yeah, I knew you were going to say that."
Tai gazed miserably at his hands and let out a sigh of defeat. "Matt, I don't want my feelings to ruin your relationship with Sora. I know you guys care about each other a lot, and I don't want either one of you to end up getting hurt because of me."
"What are you saying?" Matt asked, his voice trembling with emotion.
"Matt, Sora's never going to love me, and even if by some miracle she did end up having feelings for me, I still wouldn't make an attempt to ask her out. She's happy with you, and I'm willing to give up some of my own happiness if it means I get to see her smile. The same goes for you. I love seeing you happy, and Sora has always been able to put you in a good mood. Do you honestly know how much it hurts me to see either one of you upset? I'd never be able to forgive myself if I ended up causing you or Sora any heartache."
"You're really serious, aren't you," Matt gasped, his blue eyes growing wide with shock.
Tai blushed and avoided his friend's eyes. "I'm not going to try and take Sora away from you, if that's what you're worried about. Besides, I can't make her love me, and she has the right to choose who she wants to date. I respect her decision, and I know you would feel the exact same way if our roles were reversed."
"How do you know that for sure?" Matt choked out, his sapphire eyes sparkling with fear and despair.
Tai gently wrapped his arms around his best friend and held the blond tightly against his chest. "Matt, my loyalty to you always comes first, and I know you feel the same way about me. Your crest is a symbol of who you are, and it will always be your greatest strength. Don't start doubting yourself now. You know who you are, and nothing you say or do is ever going to change what's in your heart. How can you possibly believe our friendship will survive if you can't even believe in yourself first?"
"I've always believed in our friendship, and I always will!" Matt gasped, his whole body trembling with emotion.
"Really, then why did you think I was going to replace you?"
Matt's eyes filled with tears again, and he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Tai. You're right. I haven't always been sure of our friendship, but I am now."
Tai froze and stared at his friend in surprise. "You're not just saying that, are you?"
"Tai, I thought I wouldn't be able to make the same sacrifice you made for me, but I was wrong," Matt murmured, looking a little relieved. "I guess my crest hasn't failed me after all."
Tai held his friend close and let out a soft sigh. "Matt, you can be a real idiot sometimes, you know that? I don't think your crest will ever let you down no matter how many times you try to ruin things for us!"
"Hey, you're at fault just as much as I am!" Matt shot back.
Tai rested his cheek against Matt's shoulder an managed a sad smile. "Matt, if I can't be with Sora, then I'm glad she's with you. It would kill me to see her with anyone else. She loves you, and when you're happy, it makes me happy. I know I'm doing the right thing. I love your girlfriend, but I'm willing to keep my feelings to myself for your sake. I won't give up on our friendship. I have to keep my feelings a secret because if I don't it'll ruin my friendship with you and Sora, and it'll probably cause a lot of tension between you and your girlfriend, too. Sora has such an amazing effect on you, and that means all of my heartache is worth it."
Tears began to slide down Matt's face, and Tai felt the blond's arms go around him.
"Matt, what's wrong?" he asked, giving his friend an anxious look.
Matt gazed directly into his eyes and smiled. "Tai, Sora and I broke up."