Rick paced the hall in front of Ardeth's bedroom, refusing to leave until he'd heard from the healer within as to his brother's condition. They'd been in there with him for almost two hours and Rick was beginning to fear the worst. Ardeth had looked terrible when they finally got him into enough light to see clearly. His back had been crisscrossed with lashes, his body was covered in bruises and burns, and he was unbelievably weak.
He's not dying, Rick told himself. He's not dying, so stop even thinking it.
Easier said than done, O'Connell, his mind argued back. Ardeth looks like hell and you know it.
That doesn't mean anything. Anyone would look like that after two days in that hellhole.
But this is Ardeth we're talking about.
So what if it is? He's only human. Being Med-jai doesn't make him any less human.
Susceptible to human pain and weakness, you mean.
Rick realized the conversation wasn't helping any so he firmly told himself to shut the hell up and forcibly turned off the internal debate that was ringing through his head. He paused a moment to look at his wife who sat calmly in one of the hallway chairs watching him.
"Penny for your thoughts", she asked quietly.
"They aren't worth a penny," Rick growled without meaning to. Immediately contrite, he took the seat next to her, put his head in his hands and sighed. "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean…"
Evy put a hand on his knee and squeezed. "I know. It's alright. But Ardeth will be fine. I'm sure of it."
Rick raised his head and looked into her eyes. "But how do you know? How, Evy?"
She smiled an enigmatic little smile and squeezed again. "Women's intuition."
The American laid a hand against his wife's face. "I love you Evelyn O'Connell. You know that?"
Evy beamed at him. "Yes, I know."
He studied her face for a moment, noticing that she looked a little pale but happy, happier than finding Ardeth in his present condition should have made her. And if he wasn't mistaken there was a secret peeking out of her eyes just at the corner. It was a look he knew well and didn't always trust. His eyes narrowed. "What?" he asked. "What aren't you telling me?"
"Not now. I promise I will tell you later."
"Evy…"
Evy put a finger to his lips to ward off further questions. "Later." She was saved from having to put him off further by the appearance of Sara Beckham at Ardeth's door. The O'Connell's rose as one and both took a step towards her, speaking at the same time.
"Well?"
"How is he?"
The healer smiled at them. "He will be fine. His injuries are not as dire as first feared and he will make a full recovery."
"But he was so weak." Rick heard her words but didn't believe them. There must be something she wasn't telling them.
"Dehydration, the after affects of the chloroform, sleep deprivation, shock, trauma – one or even two of them together might be easy enough for a man of Ardeth Bey's stamina to overcome, but combined …" Sara let her voice trail off. It was sometimes best to let those most concerned make the link for themselves.
"It was too much for him," the tall American concluded after a moment.
Sara nodded. "But not too much for him now that he is here and safe and being cared for. With rest and Khay's fine skills he will be fine. You have my word on it."
Evy held out her hand and smiled at the healer. "How can we ever thank you?"
"Yes," Rick added, "if you ever need anything…"
"I am grateful for the opportunity to serve my king," Sara told them as she shook their hands. "If you will excuse me, there are some things I need to finish up. I only took a moment to apprise you of how he was doing."
"Of course. Thank you for letting us know, I can't tell you how much we appreciate this."
"You are most welcome." Sara turned her smiling gaze on Evelyn. "Now that you know that Ardeth is safe and will be well, it is time for you to see to yourself as we agreed. Rest, and a hot meal; a full hot meal, understood?"
Evy nodded and, on impulse, embraced the woman. "Thank you for everything, Sara."
Sara Beckham squeezed the Englishwoman in return and released her with a smile. "I must return to Ardeth Bey. If you need me, Evelyn, for anything, you know how to reach me." And then she was gone, back inside Ardeth's bedroom, leaving the couple standing in the hall.
Rick waited for Evy to explain the healer's words but his wife only stared into space as if she was engrossed in another one of her past life visions. After two minutes of her quiet contemplation of the wall, he cleared his throat. Blinking, Evy gave him a startled smile, as if she was completely surprised to see her husband standing next to her.
"Uh, Evy, would you like to tell me what that was all about?"
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Sara Beckham surveyed the tiny even stitches that crisscrossed Ardeth Bey's back and nodded in satisfaction.
"These stitches are some of the best I have ever seen. The scars will be barely noticeable over time. You are very skilled, Khay." She had taught Khay well and the young woman's skills were now comparable to her own. She told her as much and Khay blushed with the praise.
"You are the one with great skills, Sara," she told her. "You are an excellent teacher."
"Ah, but the teacher is only as good as the student and you have been an excellent student. "Sara looked at the woman whom she had delivered into this world, the woman who was now her queen and smiled. "You have done well, Khayriyyah Bey. There is no more I can teach you. Your apprenticeship is complete."
Khay smiled at the healer and embraced her warmly. "You will never be done teaching me, Sara. I will always have need to call upon your knowledge, I am certain of that."
"I will always be here for you to ask," Sara assured her, then she laughed lightly. "Well, not always."
"For many years to come then," Khay said, kissing the woman on the cheeks. She looked into her eyes with tears shining in her own. "Thank you so much - for everything."
Sara touched her hands to Khay's face. "You are most welcome. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to see you happy. I wish you long and happy life with your warrior. Such a love as yours does not come along in every lifetime. I know you will find joy in all things with him. I leave him in your capable hands. I will return tomorrow to see how things are going. If you have need of me before then, you know where to reach me. If I am called away, I will leave word where I am."
Khay helped her teacher gather her things and then embraced her one more time. "Thank you again, Sara. I will see you tomorrow." She closed the door behind her as she left and then sank down with a heavy sigh into the overstuffed chair by Ardeth's bed. She took in the battered form of her husband as he lay face down on the bed, his body lax in unconsciousness and her eyes closed for a moment.
"Allah," she prayed, "please let this be the last for a while. He needs to rest. We need to rest. Let us be at peace, for a while at least. Let us find respite before the next battle was must fight."
She took another deep breath and let it out. Her hand went to her head and she scratched at the blood that had dried on her scalp and she remembered the way the warriors had honored her as she knelt by Ardeth's side in the cool grass.
"This warrior queen would like nothing more than a hot bath and some clothes that did not reek of smoke," she mumbled to herself as she once again had time to notice the rank smell of her clothing.
In all the haste of treating her husband's wounds, she had not really paid attention to the fact that she remained in her soiled garments but now that the crisis had passed she was keenly aware of how desperately she needed to bathe and change. The clothes that Ardeth had been wearing had been stripped off him when they brought him in. The torn and bloody cloth that had been his trousers and shirt lay crumpled in a heap on the floor and the sight of them was enough to stoke the anger that Khay thought had dissipated with his rescue.
Without a thought for what she was doing, Khay hurled herself out of the chair and attacked the pile. She tore at the rags with her bare hands. The already damaged silk and linen was shredded into strips as she attacked it. She was unaware that there were inarticulate sounds of rage emanating from her throat as she remembered what had been to her man. She did not notice the tears that streaked down her cheeks and left tracks in the soot that still covered her face. Khay was only aware of her hands. The clothes beneath her fingers were the throats of those who had done this and she would not stop until there was nothing left to shred. Finally, there were no pieces big enough left for her to grasp and she convulsed into sobs, the rage turning to something else as she recognized that she had killed this night. And while Sidney Black had deserved to die and she was not sorry to have done it, it was still a great burden to have taken the life of another and she felt it keenly in this moment.
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"What was what all about?" Evy asked as she opened their bedroom door.
"What that healer just said… about rest and a meal? Are you okay? You're not sick are you?"
"Of course I'm not sick," Evy scoffed, as if it were the silliest thing in the world for him to suggest. She went into the bedroom and sat on her dressing stool, slipping off her shoes as she spoke. "What makes you think I'm sick?"
"The healer," Rick said again, very slowly. "She said you needed rest and a hot meal. That's kind of strange advice and I thought maybe there was something wrong with you." Something about his wife's soft pooh-pooh of dismissal put the American on guard. "I know there's something you're keeping from me." His eyes narrowed as he paced toward her. "I can tell."
"I can assure you I am definitely not sick." Evy assured him as she peeled off her stockings.
"It's the stress of the past few days, isn't it? You haven't been sleeping any more than I have."
"Rick… "
"I should have had you drink a few shots of that unblended scotch I hide from Jonathan."
"Rick… "
"That would have done the trick."
"RICK!"
"What?"
"There is something I need to tell you."
Rick raised his hands in surrender. "I knew it. I know that look. What is it now? More pleasant oases? Hidden treasures? Is Jonathan involved?"
"No, nothing like that," Evy assured him as she shook her head. "It's just that … "she took a deep breath, "I fainted today."
"You? Fainted? Today?" He took the sentence and turned it into three questions.
"Yes. Shortly before you arrived here with Ardeth."
"That's all of it? That's all you have to tell me?" Rick looked at his wife as she was joking. He searched her expressive face for signs that there was more to follow but she sat calmly on the dressing stool watching him.
"Well, yes, actually."
His relief was palpable in the confines of their room and he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Jeez, Evy. Don't scare me like that. I thought something was really wrong with you, you know? I mean the whole get rest and eat a good meal thing … honestly it sounded like you sound with Alex when he's sick. Why didn't you just come out and tell me it was just the stress of it all?"
"Rick," Evy smiled at him much like she would a small child who didn't quite get the point of a conversation. "I fainted."
"Yeah, but you've fainted before, right? That time in Cairo, remember?"
"Did I?" A smile was threatening at the corners of her mouth but Evy held it in check. She would not help Rick through this one; it was too much fun watching him muddle through it on his own.
"Yeah. It was hot, remember? Really hot, especially for the time of year. You scared the heck out of me. You really don't remember?" Rick found it hard to believe she couldn't recall the event, but since she was putting her shoes away at the moment and he couldn't see her face he continued as if she didn't. "I wanted to take you to that American clinic but you didn't want to go. I finally told you that if you went to the clinic I would go to Morocco to help you look through the library. That doctor there was THE youngest doctor I have ever seen in my life and when he told me you were pregnant … you thought I was upset about the baby but then I told you I was upset because that teenager examined you."
"He was completely competent, I assure you, and hardly a teenager," Evy pointed out as her husband continued to ramble.
"Well he sure looked like one. At least you remember. I was beginning to think that maybe fainting today affected your memory."
"How could I forget being told I was going to be a mother?" she asked him softly as she padded barefoot across the carpet towards the bed.
"Yeah, well I know I'll never forget it. It was … "his voice trailed off as he tried to find the right words.
"Scary?" Evy provided helpfully.
"Well, yeah, but exhilarating, too, like flying."
"So you enjoyed the feeling?" she wondered as she stole into his arms.
"Yes. I did. And being a father has been … great." He smiled up at her. "Challenging, but great."
"Would you do it again?"
"Be a father? You know I would. But we can't, honey. That doctor, after Alex was born, he said you wouldn't be able to conceive again."
Evy gazed into her husband's face, into the eyes that were tinged with regret for what they could never have and tried to put into words what she thought she'd never be able to say again. "I don't know if it has anything to do with what happened last year, with my dying and then coming back but it seems that the doctor was wrong," she said slowly.
Rick stared at his beaming wife and felt the world tilt just a bit underneath him. After a moment he blinked and shook his head as if he'd been daydreaming and suddenly realized it. "What?" he asked stupidly.
She took a deep breath. "Rick, I'm pregnant. Sara told me this afternoon, before you got home. That's why I fainted."
The flickers of hope and joy began to shine in O'Connell's eyes, warring with doubt and years of fruitless trying. "Are you sure? Is she sure? Absolutely sure?"
Evy nodded. "She is. I am. I'd missed two of my cycles but I didn't dare think anything of it. It's real, Rick. You're going to be a father again."
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"Ardeth!" Khay gasped in a choked whisper, as she realized who held her. She pulled away from him and lightly grasped his shoulders. "Oh, Ardeth!" Her joy at seeing him awake warred with the thought that it was her distress that woken him. "You shouldn't be up."
Ardeth hushed his wife by laying a gentle finger across her lips. "You needed me," he said hoarsely, as if that explained everything. "Nothing in all of this earth could keep me from you when you have such need of me."
Khay looked into his eyes, still dark with pain and the effects of his ordeal, and instead of the reassuring words she meant to say she could only blurt out what had been foremost in her mind since she had found him. "You were going to leave me," she told him, accusation creeping into her voice. "You told me to go on without you and you were going to let yourself die in there. You were going to leave me alone."
The Med-jai warrior hung his head in shame and remorse. "I am so sorry, my Heart. Forgive me, I beg you. I was … it was … I knew I had not the strength to go any further. I was afraid you would stay with me and that you would perish. I could not bear the thought of you dying in those flames. I could not bear the thought that I would be responsible for the death of another woman I loved."
"And you were willing to leave me alone to perish in misery? To spend every day of my remaining years mourning you?" Khay surged to her feet. Too many emotions had warred within her in the past several days and now there was only anger left. "How could you, Ardeth? How could you even think it?"
Ardeth stayed on his knees, his head bowed to the floor. His whole body radiated with regret and shame.
"I was…" the choked, painful whisper ended as his throat closed with tears. He shook his head, refusing to look at her. It was all he had left. There were no words to convey his sorrow at his selfishness.
Khay stood before her husband shaking with rage. "Look at me!" she commanded. "Look at me!"
Inch by inch Ardeth raised his head, keeping his face down until he had no choice but to lift it to her face. Even then, he kept his eyes closed. Khay gasped at what she saw. Tears flowed down her warrior's face, leaking out from his closed lids. Slowly, his eyes opened and her anger was erased as she took in the grief that filled the dark, grief and pain and self-loathing, all amplified by the glistening tears.
"Forgive me." His mouth formed the words his throat would not allow to pass.
Khay's heart had relented but she still needed him to understand that his actions were unacceptable. "Promise me," she demanded, "that you will never do anything like that again. I am your queen, a Med-jai warrior, not some woman you must protect and keep. Understand that and promise me, Ardeth Bey."
The warrior said nothing, but bowed low against the floor and rested his forehead on her feet, the tears against her skin sealing his word.