You've Got Mail!

A/N- Well I'm afraid yet again that this is not the sequel but the sequel is in the making of as we speak ( well type ) This is just yet another spinoff story that I thought up in about 10 seconds plus it's a one shot so no harm done really! Oh btw I recommend the author Strange Principles her stories are great especially her Doctor Who fics! Plus, sorry if this story is really angst but this is how I like it!

Ps- Ok now I'm getting desperate. I just want Doctor Who back cos im experiencing withdrawal symptoms, hurry up BBC!

The man was asleep. But when a small and insignificant popping noise occurred he stirred. This was the Doctor and this was the night, that in over 80 years that he would cry. More than once…

When he heard the noise he turned over. He seemed to find it annoying and pointless getting up to just figure out what was making that noise. But what he didn't know was that in the control room of the TARDIS the computer was steaming slightly and a yellowed piece of thick paper was fluttering to the ground. It was then that he woke up, sweating. He had just had a dream. A dream that he hadn't had in over 80 years. It consisted of one word-

Rose.

He shook his head. Rose was long dead by now and it was stupid to dwell over those old memories but something was bothering him a small scrap of information was squashed inside his brain and he needed to find out what it meant. Plus he was also really thirsty.

He made his way into the TARDIS control room and walked into the kitchen. He got out one mug from the cupboard. The time was long since finished when it was 2 mugs he would get out of the cupboard. As he set the kettle to boil he leaned against the work stand and thought. But out of the corner of his eye he spotted something fluttering around in the next room.

The kettle flicked off and steam poured from the spout but he didn't bother to make a cup of tea. Instead he wandered over to the piece of paper and picked it up. All it said on the envelope was-

Doctor

He dropped it and started to breath slowly and shallowly. All his companions had promised to write but none of them had bothered. But what if this isn't from a companion? He thought. What if it's from an enemy? Well there was only one way to find out. The Doctor ripped open the envelope and began to read.

Doctor,

Now before I go any further I must tell you that I am dead. Well I will be when you read this. When you left me in this world I decided that I would write you a letter until I died about all the adventures and events in my life because as you advised me I must have 'a fantastic life Rose Tyler!' So here it is. The letter. I may get married in the future and have kids but I want you to know I will never and have never stopped loving you.

The Doctor stopped reading and on his face tears shone in the harsh blue light of the centre column. She couldn't be dead. She just couldn't because he loved her and he promised her that he would always be there to save her. But then it all came flooding back. The Cybermen. The Daleks. Torchwood. And Bad Wolf Bay.

The Doctor sat down and stopped crying silently. His screams and sobs echoed in the lonely TARDIS and when he heard his echoes it made him cry even more. He was so alone. He kicked the control panel, but far from making him feel better it just made his foot hurt. But then he stopped crying when he swore he could see Rose's face reflected in the centre column. He span around and saw…

Nothing

No one

That's when he really swore. But in English. Ever since Rose had gone he had always spoke in English and forbade himself from talking any other language. It was the only one she could understand.

He continued to read the letter.

8th July 2006

Today we parted. I am never going to see you again. I'm sure I will get used to it… yeah right. After all the adventures and pursuits we have had how can I just forget them at the bat of an eyelid? All I can remember of this day is your eyes and your smile. You forgot those last words. Just like that but I know what you meant to say. So don't worry about that. Ha! As if you would… would you?

'Of course I would'

'I worry about you all the time you should know that by now you STUPID, STUPID HUMAN!' Fresh tears of grief ran down his face.

You knew things were bad for the Doctor when he insulted humans. Since Rose had left anyone he came across that insulted a human being or the human race got a quick smack across the face. God, why did she have to write about that day? He had remembered it for ages and he had never forgotten one sigh, one tear or one word that had happened on that day. Again he continued to read.

21st July 2011

I graduated today! It's not as exciting as saving the world but it'll have to do. After you left I decided to leave Torchwood after a few months because it was way too painful to stay there and study aliens. Hey guess what I got assigned to study and research...

You

But yeah it was way to painful and brought back memories I'd sooner forget, hang on... sorry about that I just had to get a tissue.

So yeah I went to Uni! Hope you're proud of me... I decided to study English Language cos my mums always saying I talk something rotten but it seems that whenever the subject of you comes up I always refer back to my usual cockney. Maybe it's cos you liked it...

The Doctor grinned as he remembered all the cockney sayings that Rose had taught him. But then he stopped. A noise seemed to be whooshing through the TARDIS it sounded like-

Apples and Pears…

'Yes Rose, stairs' He murmured. His tears had been replaced with a wan smile. He read on-

16th September 2013

I've finally got a job! After years of slumming it in Mickey's flat I finally have a job… don't know if I want to move out though… I'm gonna be teaching year 10 students in the local secondary school! Im SO scared. God I just wish you were here now to hold my hand and calm my nerves because I warn you, kids today, they just don't know when to stop asking questions. Or being inquisitive as their parents like to put it!

'You little hypocrite!' roared the laughing Doctor.

'Don't know when to stop asking questions...I ask you one day I'll show you what you were like when we first met-'

The Doctor stopped abruptly and then remembered the start of the letter. Rose was dead. He wouldn't be showing her anything, memories or otherwise.

4th May 2017

I'm wearing a white dress. A big, puffy white dress! I remember telling you we would always be together. But now I have proved myself wrong and you have proved right. I wish you could see me now Doctor, for your eyes would brim with tears. I do still have the Mickey boy yes indeedy! Hey I do! Actually I more than have him. Im marrying him. Today!

OMG! I can't believe I actually wrote that to you. About me getting married. You probably can't even remember me. Hey who am I kidding? Myself? If so it's not working. I can't pretend to be in love with Mickey to you. I love him but I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you. I hope you're in love with me too.

'Yes Rose'

'I do'

The Doctor sighed. The he remembered his tea and rushed into the kitchen. When he had made his tea he took a deep drag from it as if seeking comfort and warmth from it. However it was barely lukewarm. Just as his search for Rose had been. In the past 80 years the Doctor had not regenerated. You may ask why. Why? Because he never did anything life threatening any more. All he had done was search for Rose. Many a galaxy he had scoured. How many planets? He had lost count. All this to find a tiny crack just big enough to let the TARDIS in. Into a parallel world. Rose's world. But 60 years ago he gave up. Rose would have been 40 by then and the Doctor was sure that she had moved on. But after reading that last entry to the letter he realised that he shouldn't have given up. Because she hadn't moved on. As much as her family liked to think. She still loved him. He choked back his tears and read some more.

19th January 2020

Oh god! The pain! Doctor if only you knew how much it hurt. How much it burns me inside. Mickey. I need Mickey. He can take me to hospital and save me. Not as well as you mind. Mickey will take me to hospital and then forget about me. Not like you. You would stay there to hold my hand. To say hello to the 2 new lives I'm going to bring into this wonderful world. To let them breath air. Air that you have breathed in. They will thank me when I tell them all about you but they won't believe me. Mickey has seen me talking to them before in my tummy. I used to sit on the settee and chat to my belly imagining them laughing and giggling at my stories about our adventures. Oh God! It hurts so much…

I'm back now. From the hospital. With the terrible two-my children. Both boys I've decided to call them...well I haven't decided yet maybe if you were here you would imagine some wacky names and I would laugh and think of some completely normal usual names and then you would act all annoyed and hurt because I hadn't chosen your names. But your not here. You can not see them at all. Even if they are...yours.

'WHAT?' yelled the Doctor.

'Rose how can they be mine we never-

'Oh yes...'

'Ah'

The Doctor stumbled and hung onto the control panel to keep himself upright. The he remembered. It was before they visited London Olympics.

'God, OH MY GOD' the Doctor's yells reverberated off the centre column and made the substance inside shudder.

'But she said she went to the hospital she said so in her letter they would have been taken away once the Ward realised that they had...

2 hearts.'

He stopped and finally thought about what had happened all those years ago. He saw Rose in pain giving birth to his children. But how could they be his children Rose gave birth to them 14 years after they left each other, when their lives had been ripped at the seams. He read on.

I suppose your wondering how they managed to be yours after 14 years. The doctors explained everything. They said that when they were conceived the sperm that was used to help create them was different. I then straight away thought of you. They also said that the sperm used was a different type and that this type was a slow working one and that it would take years for the babies to develop. So after 14 years they actually finished. They were born. I'm afraid they are not Time lords. I can just imagine you now hopping round the TARDIS jumping for joy and then stopping in mid bounce once you've read that last bit. That's the only reason the hospital didn't take them away. The only way I know they are yours are because... well if they were Mickey's they would be black. But they aren't. They are white. I'm afraid Doctor they are yours.

'YOU'RE AFRAID THEY ARE MINE, YOU THINK I AM UNHAPPY ABOUT THIS ROSE?'

'WELL, DO YOU?' He seemed to be screaming at nothing in particular all he was doing was screaming for the sake of it.

Then his screaming ceased and yet again the Doctor, the last ever Time lord who had seemed so strong and undeterred all these years was crying. Again.

To think that all those years ago Rose had given birth to children. Children he was hoping to be his. Oh God what about Mickey? What would he have said when he realised that they weren't his?

'What am I saying? Mickey's dead and so is Rose. It was years ago you dolt so shut up crying for Petes sake'.

But his shoulders still shook and his tears still ran down his face. Whatever he said to himself it wouldn't help. The fact that Rose had had children and they were his was unbelievable but it was even worse to think of Rose dead and his children never able to see him. But he had to keep on reading; he had to do it for Rose.

25th December 2025

God, I'm 40 now and nothing seems to have changed. Every Christmas I put on a brave face and everyone thinks I'm fine, but I'm not Doctor, I'm not. Why can't they see that this day hurts the most? Why can't they understand that under the fake smiles and laughter I'm screaming inside? They don't seem to realise that I haven't forgotten you in the slightest that your memory still lives on in my heart. You don't though. You may be dead for all I know-

The tears had dried on the Doctor face and after that comment from Rose he threw back his head and laughed.

'You could call what I do being dead I suppose...'

He thought back thought the uneventful years and decided that now his days would be filled with adventure and experience.

'Alone I grant you that Rose, but I will NEVER EVER be dead.'

And with that the Doctor read on.

But why am I saying this? If you are dead then why bother writing this why bother even THINKING about you? Why, because I love you. So yeah, Christmas. Whenever I think of Christmas all that enters my head is you fighting the Sycorax leader, in your PYJAMAS! Gosh, did you look a sight! But to think that now I'm never going to see you, fighting the Sycorax leader in you pyjamas or otherwise. I just wish you knew my pain. My suffering all for you. You may even have a new companion maybe even TWO but I hope you never forget me- ooppss sorry gotta go Mum's carving the turkey now.

On that last note the Doctor looked around his empty TARDIS and wished upon wish that Rose could be there now. He re read the last part about Christmas.

'Rose, I have NEVER IN ALL MY LIFE HEARD SUCH CRAP!'

'Oh you may have another companion- WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD THAT I HAVE BEEN FUCKING ALONE!'

Never in 1000 years had the Doctor sworn. He must have had it bad for him to do that. All he could see in his mind's eye was Rose, poor, lonely, beautiful Rose sitting alone on Christmas day in her room, her tears dripping onto the paper she wrote on so solemnly, so lovingly. And yet again he broke down and cried. He might as well get it over with. His tears of anger, sorrow and grief fell onto the TARDIS control panel and she murmured to him. Not that he could hear. He was a lonely time traveller who would have done anything in the whole world to save His Rose from sorrow and desolation so why should he hear his ship murmur to him?

But he did. He did hear his ship murmur to him. And it meant something to him. He wasn't alone. He had his ship. A time ship. He could go back, in time and find Rose. Before Torchwood and before that all important, all heartbreaking breech. And you know what? The Doctor stopped crying and laughed. He laughed. Something he hadn't done in a long while. Then he made it even better by running over to the control panel. But then he had to go ruin it didn't he?

'Poo'

The Doctor sighed; well I suppose it's better than crying. But this sigh wasn't any normal sigh. You could actually feel his remorse, his sorrow, and annoyance through that one tiny outlet of air.

A/N – God, I'm sooooo good... :

'That's just great, well Thanks for nothing fat lot of good YOU ARE!' The Doctor shouted at his ship. Why? Only he knows that...

He had realised that there was every chance of going back in time. Just one small problem. He was already there. If he went back in time to before when Rose and he were wrenched apart he would be there right beside her, like he always was. However, why didn't he go back to before Rose even knew him?

'And yet again, Poo...' the Doctor's speech echoed through his ship but instead of feeling excited or scared that someone, an enemy perhaps, was in his ship all he felt was a panging sense of loneliness. This was a regular emotion for the Doctor so it didn't bother him that much. But his thoughts did.

I can't go back then, to when Rose didn't know who I am because after some time the old me would turn up and then things would be really messed up, and I can't do that to Rose, just so I can see her.

He sighed again and continued to read the letter,

22nd January 2030

Mickey's dead. Gone, forever just like you. Although, his departure isn't as painful as yours. Please Doctor, how could you leave me like that? You just had to say goodbye properly, well it didn't help me at all, and it just made it all the more painful. Can't you see now, how that every time I write something in this letter I bring up you? Can't you see that you haven't left my mind in over 20 years? Do you now understand how much it hurts, how much happiness has entered my life since you have been gone. Almost zero. Nada. None. You were my happiness. You were my everything. But when you left I knew I would survive. Because I had a 2nd Everything had that was Mickey. But now he's gone. And so are you, I have nothing, I'm so scared Doctor, so scared. Why can't you come save me? People wondered why I didn't cry at the funeral. I had no tears left I used them up on you. How does that make you feel, that the women you love the women you care for, didn't cry at the funeral of her husband because of you?

Now this is serious. The Doctor looked up from the letter and stared around his TARDIS. Silence seemed to penetrate his mind so he could no longer think straight. So he talked instead. You would think that the Doctor had spent his time in silence mostly, since Rose had gone. Why do you think that? He had his ship and his travels and just himself to talk to. Why bother spending 80 years in silence just because the women you love has gone forever? Because to talk is agony. To know that no one can hear your thoughts or your voice is excruciating. But the Doctor had been talking. He had been talking ever since he had started to read this letter.

'It's all you, you, you isn't it Rose Tyler! Think about me for a change, because when you left I didn't have a 2nd Everything to keep me entertained, to love me, to hold my hand, to make sure everything's alright for me DID I? You may have had Mickey, but what did I have, WHO did I have for that matter? No one!'

The TARDIS felt his anger and his pain but then she heard him mention that he had no one. She lurched to one side causing the Doctor to stumble and fall. If the TARDIS could have smiled she would have.

'Ok ok maybe I had the TARDIS but who else? No one. I've been left to my own devices for 80 God damned years! I haven't been able to live a normal life like you do-'

Flashback

Tears ran down from Rose Tyler's eyes whilst she tried to keep her hair out of her face from the wind. Bad Wolf Bay. It had followed them and killed him. Yet here they both were. Saying goodbye on the namesake of the thing that had torn them apart the first time. But this was the second time. And the last.

'Your dead officially, back home.' The Doctor averted his eyes from her tear stained face as he told her of her fate.

'So many people had died that day and you were missing, you're on the list of the dead.'

'Yet here you are. Living your life day after day, one adventure I can never have.'

Emotion cracked his voice and he wished that he could lean down and embrace Rose one last time. But he couldn't because if he did they would both be dead as the universe crashed down around them. He wasn't that selfish. He couldn't kill her just to say goodbye. Could he?

End Flashback

The Doctor's thoughts had halted his speech and he stared soulfully at the grinding central column of the TARDIS, willing her to take him back, willing her to give him one last chance. A chance to say 3 important words that had been burned onto his mind long ago.

8th July 2087

I have not written for so long Doctor. My mind is weakening and my body is dieing. I so wanted to see you before this day comes. But you never came. The TARDIS key never glowed hot around my neck. Your ship came nowhere near me. Why do you despise me so? Why do I keep on loving you for so long? Why do I have to die? I have outlived, my husband, my children, my family... But I have died before you, my best ever friend. You showed me paces that I wouldn't have dared to dream of. You showed me life was far more exciting than television and chips. One thing you showed me that will live forever is compassion and friendship... My head feels so heavy Doctor and a light is flashing before my eyes but I must let you know one last thing before, before I die.

The Doctor's eyes widened as he continued to read. His face shone ghostly pale in the swirling light of the TARDIS but his eyes glowed with an emotion he had thought had been buried inside him to frightened to reach the surface, love.

When I said I had outlived my children I meant one of them. The alien genes in his body killed him but the other he lives on. I said years before that the sperm used to create him were slow. They are ever so slow. Even though he is 70 years old his mind and body and immune system are those of a 5 year old. The alien genes didn't kill Peter they merely gave him extra life. I never told anyone this, but about a year ago I was hugging Peter and I heard 2 heartbeats. The alien genes must have just grown him a new one. It seems crazy!

Then the letter ended spare some scrawled ink at the bottom. Tears fell from the Doctor's eyes as he read the scrawl.

Yours, forever

Rose

You would expect him to break down and cry heartily and nosily like he did when the letter began. But he had had warning. He knew that in about 2 hours he would be reading the death of Rose. He had tried so hard to prevent it to lengthen the period of life she had with excitement and adventure. But she had to end some day.

As he slid the thick wedge of paper into his inside pocket he strode over to the control panel and tinkered about with the levers and buttons that flashed in front of him. But a thought struck him as he checked the exterior camera view and saw the parallel earth looming towards him. He had just remembered that every year on the 8th of July he would get as near to Earth as possible-

'Wait!' He yelled at the central column.

'8th of July today right...'

He pulled out the envelope from his pocket and scanned the letter until he eyes fell upon the last date.

'8th of July 2087' he murmured. He checked the TARDIS computer and it confirmed the date. Rose hadn't died years ago. This letter hadn't taken that long to get here. A couple of hours at the most. Rose had died today. That's when the Doctor started to cry heartily and noisily. Until he stepped on something that crackled under foot. He wiped his face roughly and bent down to pick it up. It was the envelope for the letter. He had never paid that much attention to it before but now he examined it as if it was a fragile ornament. Then something small and metal fell on his toe.

'Ow!' The Doctor bellowed making the TARDIS groan apprehensively. He bent down to pick up the object. It was the same size as a button and was round to go with it. It had no ridges or bumps or obvious buttons so the Doctor gently held the pulsing blue light of his sonic screw driver onto it. It glowed red and became so hot that the Doctor dropped it. A huge bang erupted from the centre of the button thing and smoke engulfed the Doctor and made him cough and choke.

As water streamed from his eyes and the Doctor lowered himself onto a chair the smoke cleared. He gazed fiercely into the mist and stood up his sonic screwdriver alight and held in front of him. Nothing stirred nothing buzzed nothing flashed and the only light was coming from the central column and the bulbous tip of the screwdriver.

The Doctor made to turn around and sit down again until he heard a whimper. He span around and moved forward slowly loosing himself in the smoke. Then with another almighty bang the smoke cleared instantly. It was now clear what had whimpered.

The Doctor gasped in wonder and concern. A small boy of about 5 or 6 was stood in front of him. The Doctor knelt down so he could see the boy's eyes. They were brown like his own and deep, too deep almost. He studied the rest of the boy's face who had made no move to run away and was only crying silently and gazing at the Doctor with curiosity.

The boy looked like him too much for the Doctor to have another thought about who he was. But just to confirm he needed to do 2 things. Scan his brain and listen to his heart.

The Doctor held his sonic screwdriver up and the boy flinched but still didn't run away. The Doctor spoke calmly into his ear as he scanned the boy's brain.

'It's alright everything's going to be fine...'

He closed his eyes and soaked up the boys memories of his mum his brother, his family. They were all considerably older than the boy. But when The Doctor saw an older Rose smile at him he knew who this boy was.

His son.

But for extra comfort he knelt down even further and held his ear to the boy's chest. It was then that he smiled. Buh bub buh bub. 2 heart beats.

He raised his head away from the boy's chest and smiled at him.

'What's your name?'

The boy blinked slowly and soulfully.

'Peter Tyler'

Then as if boldness had over come Peter he asked the question he was so eager to know the answer to.

'You're my daddy aren't you?'

The Doctor grinned broadly before stroking Peter's tears away.

'Yes'

Peter smiled and flung his hands around the Doctor's neck. The Doctor seemed a little confused at what to do before he felt Peter nuzzling his face into his neck and fresh tears fell down on the little boy's head. The Doctor grasped Peter tightly before lifting his head up and stroking the little boy's cheek.

Sure Rose was dead that was going to keep on hurting forever, but he had his son and his letter and his ship. That was good enough for him.

A/N-gosh that was such hard work. But so worth it. It made me cry at the end it's just... amazing! Right now onto business. You may notice that this story is one long chapter. I don't do chapters I hate trying to write to accommodate for chapters. Hey I don't mind reading in chapters but writing in them...bur it gives me the shivers! I read some where that one fanficer hates the fact that the Doctor always seems to have a son. Sorry whoever you are but it just seems more natural for the Doctor to have a son. Please please review because I really want to know what you think!

Even if there is an epilogue...