I Shouldn't Love Him

Chapter 3: Thoughts of the Future

"Mamo-chan." "Do you love me?" Usagi Tsukino.

xxxxxDay 2xxxxx

"Brriiinnng. Brrrriiinnnng. Brrriiinnng." The telephone rung five times before an answering machine picked up:

"You've reached the Tsukino house. Please leave detailed message and we'll try to get back to you as soon as possible! Thanks for calling! Ja ne!" He heard the machine and sighed before speaking.

"Hey Usagi, it's Mamoru. I'm sorry for not calling until now; I just woke up. The plane arrived a little bit earlier this morning around night. Well, it's probably around noon over there right now. Call me when you get this message. I love you, Usa-ko."

A click of a phone was heard as the purple cat stared. There was now a red blinking light from where the noise had taken root. She exhaled a breath of relief. Mamoru had gotten there safely and Usagi does not have to worry anymore. Looking around the room, she searched for her owner and had failed. She went up the stairs and into Usagi's room, again finding no one. Staring blankly at the empty room, Luna wondered where Usagi could have gone. She left the room and jumped out of the bedroom's window. Climbing down the house, Luna's right paw stepped on something sharp. "REOW!" She jerked the injured paw off the ground. She began to loose her footing and started tumbling down the roof.

"What the..?" A voice traveled to her ears sounding no softer than the wind. Luna opened her eyes and looked up to see a smiling man, one she'd met before. "Luna? I missed you…" Yaten stroked her fur, watching with a calm face.

Luna meowed to him and nuzzled her cheek against his hand. He chuckled before letting out a sigh.

"Where did that idiot go to? I'm here to see if he's here… Have you seen Seiya around here?" He looked down at Luna.

"Seiya?" Luna thought aloud with realization catching up to her. She shook her head "no" as she lay on Yaten's hand. He pulled her close to his chest and cradled her; he looked at her with love and spoke:

"How would you like to spend the day with me?" Luna's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm while her mouth hung open forming a smile. Acknowledging her answer with a nod, he began walking away from the house with complaints.

"Seiya was supposed to help us escort the Princess around and buy some food for while we're here. THAT IDIOT! Well," he looked down at the feline and she meowed, "I at least got to see you again. Come on, Luna, we have to go take care of Princess Kakyuu."

"MROW!" Luna replied when she heard Yaten let one last thing escape his lips:

"Where could that idiot have gone anyway?"

"YEAH! Ha-HA!" Usagi jumped triumphantly with her arms in the air. Seiya smiled proudly.

"Good! Now try it again." He quickly threw the ball at Usagi and before she could hit it with the bat, it hit her in the face throwing back onto her back. "Ah!" Seiya ran up to the girl swearing he could see swirls in her eyes before they closed.

"Usagi, are you all right?" Receiving no reply, he called out to her, "Usagi? …Usagi?"

Usagi opened her eyes and waited for her focus to become clear. She felt the pain in her nose and forehead where the ball had hit her. Touching the spot, she looked to her left and then to her right. She slowly sat up and looked around her; she was alone. Where was Seiya? That's when the blonde noticed where she was. She quickly looked to her right as she saw a nurse walk into the room through the swinging doors.

"Oh! You're awake! Oh good. Well, I'm your nurse. You can call me Nurse Jane. There is a boy outside," the petite black haired lady greeted Usagi with a small smile, "he's been quite anxious about you. He brought you here while you were unconscious. There's no serious damage, but your head may be hurting for the next couple of days. We've prescribed some medication for you. The young man has everything you'll need as well as your medicine. Now, as soon as we do a couple of tests on you to make sure you're doing well, you can go home with him. He's such a sweet young man, that boy. Say, wasn't he part of that old band…Oh what was it now? Oh well, any who, let's get started shall we?"

Usagi listened to the old lady and tried to take in all the information without getting lost. The nurse took some medical tools and checked Usagi's eyes and then her blood pressure. She started to get a little spacey and her eyes began to shut close. While the nurse finished recording the tests, Usagi fought back her eyelids and tried not to show her growing weakness. The nurse looked up from the record sheet and Usagi immediately won her battle as she looked to the nurse. The nurse quickly studied her patient until she felt satisfied. Getting up, she put her hand on Usagi's back as a gesture. Understanding the message, Usagi smiled and got up off the bed and onto the ground. She stood up straight before the old lady led her out the room.

Once the lady opened the door, Seiya popped right in front of Usagi holding a bag and some papers in one hand and a stuffed animal in the other. Usagi blinked at him when she saw the worried look in his eyes.

He stepped up to her, "Are you okay, Odango?" Unknowingly to him, the old nurse glared at him with disgust. He slowly raised her right arm with her hand stiff; Seiya looked at her questioningly. Bringing the arm in front of her, the old lady quickly swung it away from her, landing it on Seiya's cheek. Shocked, Seiya slowly turned his head to her as she put her hands on her hips.

"And here I thought you were a nice gentleman! You run in here with this beautiful young lady in your arms yelling for immediate attention, I soon find out she was unconscious because you threw a baseball in her face, and now you call her a dumpling head when she wakes up still bearing the pain you've caused her! SHAME ON YOU, BOY!" The old lady spoke loudly without yelling; she attracted many stares that turned into glares at Seiya.

Seiya looked around himself nervously as he could hear Usagi giggling. He looked at her for help, but she would not comply. Sighing, he began to apologize to the nurse. She slapped his other cheek now, still glaring.

"Fool! I'm not the one you should be apologizing to!" Seiya bowed with gritted teeth and then to Usagi, apologizing with a sincere voice. Usagi tried to hold back her laughs as the nurse finally bowed her head with satisfaction. The two walked out of the hospital building together with Usagi laughing halfway down. Seiya glared at her the entire way and couldn't help notice something once they reached his car. There was a look in her eyes he could tell she was trying to hide. Memory struck him like the ball that hit her face.

"Ah! Odango, are you really okay? Maybe you shouldn't be up and walking so much…" Thoughts of what he could do for her flooded his mind. Usagi looked up from the passenger door to Seiya on the other side; she smiled with gratitude and his eyes only showed more concern.

"I'll be fine. Thank you Seiya."

"Are you sure?" She nodded and he sighed. A grin appeared on his face and he spoke in a smooth tone, "Well, then, shall we be going…Usagi?"

The two got into Seiya's black sports car and he drove off. Silence filled the car as Usagi's mind rode on a thought train about Mamoru and Seiya. She was remembering when she first met the two and how similar they were and how different. She thought about how she found out that she was the princess of the silver moon kingdom and how her future was planned out for her. A quiet whimper sounded from her as she continued to think; Seiya looked at her from the corner of his eye, watching her expressions and at the same time watching the road. Usagi's lips began to quiver.

She held her lips tight trying to not be heard, trying to hide her emotions. Everything was planned for her. She had no choice but to give her love to one man and she would have no choice but to bear a child who looks nothing like her or her future husband—but at the same time she does… She loved Chibi-Usa and wanted to care for her as her mother, but was she really Chibi-Usa's mother? Chibi-Usa has the moon crescent and wears the same hairstyle, but why is Chibi-Usa's hair pink instead of blond or black or her eyes red instead of light or dark blue? Neither of Usagi's parents had the traits that Chibi-Usa wears, so Usagi or Mamoru's traits should be what Chibi-Usa has, right? So why isn't it? Seiya saw the confused and pained looked that Usagi unmasked and he pulled the car over into a parking lot. Usagi didn't notice. No, she was still on a train of questions and memories.

She began to think about Mamoru and how much he's loved her, how much of it he's shown. He's died for her, loved her, protected her, cared for her… Why? Was it because of their former past, or did he really love her? Did he grow to love her only because of the past they'd learned of, or would he have grown to love her anyways? Did he really love her, or was he just acting as he felt he should, knowing their former pasts? What were Mamoru's true feelings? What were Usagi's?

"Is Mamo-chan really happy? …Am I?" She thought quietly out loud. Seiya looked at her astonished. Did he really just hear what he thought he heard?

"Odango?" Usagi's head snapped up and she faced him, blinking out the puddle formed in her eyes. She looked startled, but at the same time he could see her filled with many more emotions. Tilting her head partially, she relaxed her eyes as she looked at the sex-changing celebrity sitting next to her.

"Sei…ya," everything, every question, replayed in her head as she talked to him, "I-I don't know…"

" "Don't know?" what do you mean?" He stared at her bewilderedly.

"I don't know…I…" hesitating to continue, the she decided against it and instead smiled as she said, "I don't know what kind of ice cream I want!" Her eyes masked the sadness once more and displayed thought and curiosity. Seiya, of course, was not fooled and so pursued the course for information; information he wanted, and almost needed.

"I think I want either choc-

"Odango!" He shouted slightly and cut her off. She blinked and closed her mouth, knowing that she could not fool him.

"Seiya," Usagi looked to her side out the window, and then continued, "What would you do? What would you do if your whole future was planned and everyone tried to keep you on track, on the same path so it would happen?"

Startled, Seiya sat speechless with only one word able to be voiced: "Odango…"

She looked at him with sad eyes. Sighing, she knew he didn't understand. So, she turned her head back the other way and stared out the window. Rain started pouring out her window. Seiya frowned; he didn't like to see her like this. He wanted to do everything he could to cheer her up; he wanted to comfort her. She sat in the seat next to him and he wasn't able to say anything to bring her to smile. Unbuckling his seatbelt, Seiya opened his car door and stepped out. Usagi looked at him, puzzled, and watched him as he walked around the car's front and to her door. Opening the door, he held out his hand in front of her. Usagi stared at it and then slowly unbuckled herself. She grabbed his hand and slowly got up to her feet. Instantly, she was pulled into an embrace. Seiya wrapped his arms around her shoulders and mid back, holding her tightly. Usagi stood still for a few moments as her emotions crawled around her chest and surrounded her heart. With a tight feeling in her chest, she gradually made her arms' way around Seiya's back, clutching onto his shirt. Holding on tight, her eyes still let nothing out—until he said in her ear:

"Odango, I don't know what it's like to have a future planned for myself, or what it's like to be forced to make that future happen, but what I do know… is that I would hate it! I would wish to have another life; I would wish to get away from it all or die! Listen to me," He pulled her back enough to let her look at him, "Odango, I don't know what kind of future is planned for you, but if you're unhappy then maybe you should try something else. Every future will be filled with trouble. We may want peace, and we could have it, but only to an extent. We could create an alliance, but there will still be evil. Otherwise, we would not be fighting and we would not be sailor soldiers."

Usagi's heart finally opened up as she rested her head on his chest, staring to the side. She explained to him, "But the future I hold is a peaceful one. I am to be Neo-Queen Serenity of Crystal Tokyo and I am to watch over the Earth as Prince Endymion's wife, as Mamoru's wife. We are to have a child, Chibi-Usa, and she is to come to the past to save her present home. I am to have a child whom I've already met and adore. How can I jeopardize that? How could keep her from being born! Even though she looks nothing like me, but still bears the crescent moon, how could I?"

Seiya blinked the shock out of his eyes and countered her, "If there's destruction in your future, then why would they try to keep it happening? And are you sure Chibi-Usa is your child? How can that be if she looks nothing like you, if she has nothing same as you or Mamoru? Isn't it possible, then, that she could be someone else's? Isn't it possible?" Seiya's voice dripped all of his desperation for reasoning and flooded Usagi's mind.

With his voice trembling, holding back tears, he closed his eyes and continued in her ear, "So if she is someone else's child, then is it possible that you just took her in, Odango, because you're so caring? Isn't it possible, because of that, for you to do what you want for yourself so that you'd be able to be happy instead of always trying to make everyone else? Couldn't you… Couldn't you love someone else, Usagi?" Usagi's eyes widened as his words struck her heart and replayed like a broken record.

Could it be possible? Could Chibi-Usa have been someone else's? Could Usagi really live her own life as she wanted? Neither of them spoke as they continued to hold each other in the rain. Five minutes had passed when Usagi felt her head aching now that she wasn't so distracted from it. She groaned painfully as she removed her arms from Seiya and used her hands to grasp her head.

"What's wrong?" Seiya opened his eyes calmly and noticed her holding her head. Remembering the baseball, he gently set Usagi against his car and reached inside for her medicine. After reading the prescription, he poured two capsules into his hand from the prescription bottle.

"Here, take this." Handing her the medicine, he reached in his car again and pulled out a water bottle. He gave it to her and she gulped the capsules down.

"I'm feeling a little tired…" She stated after standing there for six minutes.

"That's one of the side-effects of the medicine. Do you think you can stay awake a bit longer so we could get you some food? Right after that, I'll take you home." Seiya watched as she nodded her head and got in the car.

Gazing at the long-hair-man as he made his way around the car and to the car door, She couldn't help but notice how soaked he was. She looked down at herself observing her similar state. Looking back up, she continued to stare at him as he got in and sat down, and then as he started the car. Turning his body to watch the rear while he backed up, he saw her staring at him.

"What is it? Is there something on my face?" Blushing, Usagi turned away from his blank face.

"No, nothing. Sorry." She replied.

Smirking, he decided to "return" her actions. Usagi waited for the car to move; it didn't. Looking up in confusion. She looked to her side to see Seiya staring at her the same way she did him, only his eyes held a day-dreaming look. Her face flushed with a deep hue of pink.

"W-what is it?"

"Oh nothing…I," he said dreamily, "I was just thinking how beautiful you looked, wet and soaked to your skin." With her face darkening to the shade of a tomato, Usagi slapped him in the face and then quickly crossed her arms over her chest, bringing her knees up to cover herself.

"PERVERT!" She yelled.

"OW! Man, why is everyone slapping me today? I didn't mean it like that!" Grumbling and pouting, Seiya finally reversed his car out the spot as Usagi held her position.

He left the now empty parking lot and headed towards a restaurant on 10th street. It was a new one apparently, and it already had a good reputation. The ride there wasn't as great, but was still nice. It was quiet at first. Seiya glanced over at Usagi every now and then, relieved to see a better and happier expression on her face, on that was true. The ride was still quiet but he could hear her humming softly to herself. She was humming one of his songs: Nagareboshi He; Shooting Star, also known as Search For Your Love. It was 8 o' clock when they arrived at the restaurant. Seiya helped Usagi out of the car and he read the title: "Fancy The Sushi!" Once inside, a waitress gasped at seeing them soaked. Offering a change of clothes, the lady gave them clothes and took their order.

"I know what we'll be getting. We probably shouldn't stay long if there's any fans here, ok?" He looked down to Usagi who nodded in response.

He told Usagi to go change quickly before telling the waitress his order. He paid her for the food first-hand and also for the clothes before leaving to change as well. Several minutes later, Seiya came out of the bathroom wearing a white long-sleeve opened button up and a pair of black pants wearing nothing under the button up. He held his wet clothes in a bag as he searched for Usagi.

"Oh…my…GOSH!" The shriek turned Seiya's face to pale as he began to panic. "It's like one of the Three Lights! Like, oh my gosh!"

His fans sprung up from their seats and crowded him. Usagi stepped out from a hallway holding her bag of wet clothes. Seiya spotted her and froze. She was wearing a black low-cut V-neck dress with straps wrapping around the back of her neck. The bottom was cut diagonally from her left knee to her right ankle. Keeping her hair in its original pigtails and buns, she wore a pair of black sandals to complete the look. The waitress who'd given her the outfit tapped her shoulder from behind; Usagi turned around.

"You look beautiful miss. Here, this is your food. Perhaps you shall go wait outside for him. I'll send him out there for you." The waitress spoke kindly and Usagi acted her words.

Surely enough, a couple minutes later, Seiya rushed out of the restaurant with keys out in his left hand.

"Get in!" He quickly unlocked the doors to the car and they both strapped themselves in.

Speeding out of the parking lot, he exhaled as he drove in the direction of Usagi's house. Nearly 8:50 was the time when they arrived. Casually, they went inside the house and Usagi saw a note on the table. Plopping down onto the couch, Seiya could hear Usagi reading the note aloud.

"Dear Usagi,

Your father and I are going to the hot springs for the week with your little brother. We were going to take you with us, but Seiya came by today and had suggested you stay and keep him company; he said you promised." Her voice grew louder; she continued to read "Anyways, I've given him permission to stay at the house while we're gone. He said he'll be there in case you need anything or if someone breaks in. Be safe!

Love,

Mom." Usagi ran out of the kitchen and into the living room where Seiya laid. She stood with her hands clenched at her sides. Chuckling nervously, Seiya put his hands up in defense.

"Sorry… But! You did promise! Remember?" Usagi glared at him, and then calmed when she did remember.

"Ok then… BUT YOU'RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH! There's no way I'm letting a pervert like you sleep in my room, so you can just forget about that!" Seiya stared as if attempting to show that he didn't know what she was talking about.

Quickly replying, he said, "I wasn't thinking that! You obviously were, though." He smirked; she blushed.

"W-wha? I was not!" She denied.

"Don't worry, I won't blame you if you wanted me to sleep with you. After all, I'm just that cool!" Usagi smirked with annoyance in her eyes.

"Why are you cool? And who said I wanted to sleep with you? I wasn't thinking that! You obviously were, though." She repeated his words, giving him a sly smile. Taken back by surprise, Seiya leaned forward on the couch hitting a button. Opening his mouth to speak, another voice played and ended their play-fight.

"You have 1 new voice message. Message 1 received at 11:38 AM today. Now playing message: Hey Usagi, it's Mamoru. I'm sorry for not calling until now; I just woke up. The plane arrived a little bit earlier this morning around night. Well, it's probably around noon over there right now. Call me when you get this message. I love you, Usa-ko."

Watching Usagi's reactions, Seiya backed up with hurt in his eyes. She stood still looking at the machine that played. Her face looked almost shocked. Placing a smile on her face, she silently let out a sigh.

"He made it…"