A/N: First of all, go back to chapter seven for a revised (and hopefully better) ending. Secondly, thanks for all of the positive reviews and suggestions. Once I'm finished with the ideas I already have, maybe I will go back and flesh this out with some more chapters about the reunion and the rumble.
Disclaimer: I still don't own The Outsiders.
It took them twenty minutes to walk home. Since they'd ridden to the hospital in the ambulance with Pony, their car was still at their house, and as they walked along the darkened, quiet streets of Tulsa, the only sound was Soda's soft sniffling. Darry had his arm around Soda the whole way home, but nothing could seem to stop these tears once they had started. Darry knew they weren't just for Pony. Reality was finally hitting Soda, and it was hitting him hard. Darry, on the other hand, refused to think about anything that had happened that night. He concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other as they walked home, and he knew that if he could make it into his own house, he'd have plenty of time to dwell on what this once victorious night had become.
The light in their living room was on when they got home, and they were unsurprised to see Steve sitting on their couch, staring at the television as he waited for them. His eyes were red, and when he caught sight of Soda's own tear streaked face, his eyes filled with tears again. He sniffed, almost against his will, and Soda stumbled towards him, landing on the couch in a heap. Steve reached over, and as soon as he touched Soda's shoulder, both of them started bawling.
Steve choked out, "I once said we could get by without anyone but Johnny… but Soda… two of them? I didn't mean we could get by without Dally. I mean we can't. How…" and he couldn't continue. He buried his face in his hands, and Soda threw an arm around him, suddenly startled out of his own misery.
"Shoot, Steve, you can't blame yourself. You know Dally couldn't take it. Without Johnny, he wasn't anything. He did this on purpose… even though I wish we were enough for him. I wish…" Now his voice choked up, and as he trailed off, Steve looked up. There were tears dripping onto Soda's jeans as he stared down at the couch, and Steve realized that he hadn't seen him this upset since the Curtises' funeral, so he did the same thing he did that awful day. He put his arms around his best friend and held on tight as Soda shook with sobs. But this time, he buried his face in Soda's shoulder as his own tears came pouring out as well. Neither of them moved until they heard an unfamiliar sound. They let go of each other and turned toward the armchair to see a sight that was becoming familiar to Soda but was undoubtedly shocking to Steve.
Darry was sitting there with his eyes closed and his teeth clenched, but tears were slipping out from under his closed lids, and his breathing was ragged. Without saying a word to Steve, Soda walked over and sat on the arm of the chair until Darry finally opened his eyes. The minute he looked at Soda, he lost all semblance of control. He shook his head, but it was too late.
"It can't be true," he whispered, and Soda's eyes filled again. He reached out, and Darry pulled him towards him tightly, hugging him with all his strength as the sobs shook both of them. Steve curled himself into a ball on the couch, his bruised ribs aching but bringing welcome relief from the ache in his heart. And then … after a few minutes… they somehow found a way to breathe again. Soda pulled back from Darry, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, and Darry dragged the back of his hand across his own eyes. Steve forced himself to take the deep breaths that hadn't yet worked tonight but were slowly being slightly effective.
Once they were all calmer, they sat there in silence. Even without speaking, they all knew that they were waiting for someone else to come in. None of them knew, until the door banged open for the first time that night, that Two-Bit was the only one who would come. With Pony in the hospital, he was now the only one they could have expected.
What they didn't expect was the look in his eyes. They had finally calmed down, but here was the most unexpected sight of all. For the first time any of them could remember, Two-Bit didn't smell like beer; he wasn't joking, and he wasn't laughing. Instead, he was standing in front of Darry in tears.
"I'm sorry," he blurted. "I was with the kid all afternoon, and I knew he wasn't feeling well, but he told me he was ok. He told me he was going to take some aspirins. I told him he shouldn't fight, but he wouldn't listen. I knew, Darry. I knew he shouldn't fight. This is my fault, all my fault," and he couldn't even go on. He just stood there, tears running down his face, twisting the corner of his jacket into a knot while Darry stared at him in shock. He didn't know what Darry would do to him, but whatever it was, he figured he deserved it and worse. And then Darry stood up, and before Two-Bit even realized what was happening, Darry had put his arms around him and was holding onto him.
Two-Bit stiffened in shock, but he was afraid to pull away because Darry's hug released the sobs he'd been trying to hold back in the time it had taken him to get here. Fleetingly, he remembered his silent chant in the lot: "keep it together until the cops are gone. Just keep it together until we're back at the Curtises." And now he was here.
"I'm sorry, Darry," he choked out. "I'm so sorry."
"Shhhh," Darry soothed as he held onto the jokester who had always seemed to take everything so lightly. "It's nobody's fault. These things just happen. There ain't nothing we can do about them either. We just have to let them be."
He eased Two-Bit over to where Steve and Soda were sitting on the couch and sat him down between them. Soda put his arm around him, and Steve gripped his shoulder. The two of them had tears in their eyes, and before Darry allowed himself to sink back into his chair, he went over and locked the door for the first time he could remember. He felt his own eyes welling up again as he silently acknowledged that no one else would be coming over. He also knew that no one else would need to be witness to the hardest night this gang had ever had.
It was a night of tears. For two boys who had just been through the worst week of their lives and another two who couldn't remember the last time they'd cried, the loss of two friends pushed them all over the edge of reason, of sanity, of control. The minute one of them calmed down, another one would start sniffling, and then the cycle would start again. None of them could bring themselves to say Johnny or Dally's names, though, and the sun was rising when both Steve and Two-Bit finally fell asleep on the couch and the floor, respectively
Soda and Darry were still awake, though, and Soda glanced outside and then turned to his brother. "What time can we go get Pony?"
Darry looked at him worriedly and said carefully, "We can go see him when visiting hours start at 10. I don't know when they'll let us take him home, though…"
He trailed off when he saw the look on Soda's face. This was the one topic that they had managed to avoid, but it was clear that it still had the power to bring them to their knees.
"Darry… you never answered me in the hospital," Soda said hoarsely. "He's going to be ok, right?"
"Come here," Darry said softly, glancing at their sleeping friends. He and Soda went into the kitchen and sat down at the table.
"Pony's sick, Soda," he said softly, and he swallowed the lump that was suddenly back in his throat. "I don't know what's going to happen. And I know Two-Bit blames himself, but if I'd been paying a little more attention to him before the rumble, I'd have seen this for myself. You heard the doctor. How could I not have noticed?"
Soda shook his head stubbornly. "No Darry. You need to remember what you told Two-Bit. It's nobody's fault, least of all yours. You've been watching him like a hawk all week. If he decided to tell you he was ok, well, you know Pony. He probably thought he was." He straightened his shoulders.
"He's going to be ok, Darry. We'll just have to make sure of it."
Darry tried to smile at his optimistic brother, but he knew Soda could say this now when Pony's pale face wasn't in front of him. He was worried about what would happen when they went back to the hospital.