Soda halfheartedly pushed open the heavy hospital door and walked into the hallway. In his head, he could hear Ponyboy's voice as he called their parents' names. He tried to shake his head to make it go away, and in the process, he caught sight of Two-Bit's jacket disappearing around the corner at the end of the hall. He trudged after him, wondering why Darry couldn't have just sent Steve.
Then he walked around the corner and saw for himself.
Two-Bit had managed to find the only semi-private space on the whole floor, a small alcove where the supplies were shoved until they could be put away. He was sitting on the floor behind them, his eyes closed and his breathing uneven. Soda quietly joined him on the floor, sitting across from him and leaning against the opposite wall.
After a minute, Two-Bit opened his eyes and tried to smile but failed miserably.
"Hey, Soda. Whatcha doin' here?"
Soda shrugged. "I guess I could ask you the same question?" He didn't want to push this conversation on Two-Bit, but he was quickly beginning to understand why Darry had sent him and not Steve.
Two-Bit shrugged, leaning his head back again and closing his eyes.
"It'll sound stupid," he muttered, but there was pain in his voice, and Soda heard it.
"Say it anyway," he said softly, careful to stay where he was, at least a foot away from Two-Bit. He knew he'd need his space. It was just the way he always was.
"I just… I just couldn't be in there," he mumbled. He still didn't lift his head or open his eyes, but at least he was talking. "And I know he's your brother, but Soda… but we already lost Johnny and Dally yesterday. If we lose Pony too…," and here his voice became strained. "Well, it'll be too much," he managed to choke out. "And I know Darry said it wouldn't, but it would be my fault."
Soda sat up. "Two-Bit, we are not going to lose Pony," he said urgently. Even sitting a foot away, he could feel Two-Bit tense up, so he tried to make his voice softer.
"Listen, this is nobody's fault, least of all yours. You know what Pony's like. He was going to fight in that rumble whether you told Darry or not. You can't blame yourself for this. It wasn't the fever, and it wasn't the rumble, and it wasn't even Johnny or Dally. It was all of those things at once, and there's no way you could have stopped any of it. So stop trying to tell yourself you could."
Neither of them moved for a minute. Soda had closed his eyes again, so he wasn't even aware of Two-Bit staring at him until he heard him move. He opened his eyes quickly to see Two-Bit hunched over with his head in his hands. His shoulders were shaking, but he wasn't making a sound.
Soda shifted over, so he could put his arm around him, and he heard Two-Bit mutter something.
"What'd you say?" Soda asked, and Two-Bit cleared his throat, still not raising his head, and said, "Thanks. That made sense. I just… I miss them."
Soda squeezed his shoulder and felt his own throat tighten.
"Yeah," he mumbled. "So do I."
After a few more minutes, Two-Bit's shaking had subsided, and he wiped his eyes on the arm of his jacket.
"Let's go back to Pony's room," he suggested quietly, and Soda jumped to his feet quickly in response.
They had walked all the way back in silence and were standing outside the door when Two-Bit put out an arm to stop Soda from entering.
"Thanks," he muttered, not meeting his eyes, and Soda merely nodded. Anything more would have made this awkward, and all he wanted was for things to be as normal as possible now because he knew that wouldn't be the case on the other side of the door. He wished he were wrong. He couldn't have been more right.