Not much had changed in the time Soda and Two-Bit were gone … or so it seemed to them at first glance. When Soda looked more closely at Darry, though, he realized that he looked worse than he had when he'd left, and he asked worriedly, "Did something happen?"
Darry shook his head and said, "No, but I'm glad you're back. He kept… he kept calling for you." His voice sounded funny, but when Soda glanced at him, he didn't look up, so he went over to Pony's other side and sat down again.
He'd only been sitting there for a minute when a thought struck him. He looked quickly at Darry but realized he couldn't ask him, so he resolved to ask Steve later when they were alone.
Sighing, he stared down at his brother's pale face and silently urged him to wake up. Almost as though he'd heard him, Pony started muttering again.
"Soda?" he asked, twisting restlessly, and Soda grabbed his hand, squeezing it.
"I'm here, Pony," he said softly, trying not to get too excited.
"Soda, tell Darry…" he trailed off, and the brothers looked at each other over him, hope in their eyes for the first time all day.
"Tell him what?" he asked as calmly as he could manage.
Pony shifted again uncomfortably. "I didn't mean it. Tell him… tell him I didn't mean it. He doesn't have to hit me…"
Soda blanched and looked quickly at Darry. But he was stumbling to his feet and dashing out of the room, eyes to the floor. Soda was torn between his brothers, and he was glancing desperately between them when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Steve.
"Go," he said simply, and Two-Bit echoed him.
"Go find Darry. We'll stay here with Pony. We'll get you if anything happens."
Soda looked from one to the other, unconvinced, but when Pony didn't say anything else, he sighed resignedly.
"Ok. But you have to come find us if anything happens. Right away."
"Of course, Soda. Just go." This time it was Two-Bit, and when Soda looked at him, he nodded soberly, holding eye contact long enough to make his point. Darry needed him now. And Two-Bit suddenly understood that in a whole new way.
Soda walked out of the room once again with no idea where to go, but he was pretty sure that Darry wouldn't sit in the middle of the hallway like Two-Bit had, so he checked the first place he could think of and went into the bathroom. He didn't notice anyone when he walked in, but then he was aware that one of the stalls was occupied.
"Darry?" he asked tentatively.
There was no response for a moment, and Soda was about to walk out when he heard Darry's voice, sounding even lower than usual, mumble, "Yeah."
"Ok," Soda said. He didn't say anything else, but he didn't leave either. After a few more minutes, Darry came out and went straight to the sink without looking at Soda. Soda, standing off to the side, watched his older brother as he splashed cold water on his face and then quickly covered it with a paper towel. When he finally took the towel away, though, Soda wasn't surprised to see that his eyes were red. And he realized that this time, he had no idea what to say. Darry saw that too, and he laughed bitterly, but it sounded more like a sob.
"You heard him, Soda. This whole thing was my fault. If I hadn't hit him that night, he never would have run away, and none of this would have happened."
Soda stared at Darry until he was forced to look away.
"Darry, you were the one who told Two-Bit yesterday that these things happen and they're nobody's fault. Don't you dare go blaming yourself now. First of all, you didn't mean to hit him. Everyone knows that, including Pony. He's delirious. He's not saying anything rational. You heard him apologizing to Dally. If he were himself, you know he'd never apologize for saving those kids, no matter what it meant for Johnny. He's not himself, Darry. He's just not."
Darry looked down at his feet, but Soda saw the tears welling up in his eyes, and he stepped closer to his older brother.
"Darry, he loves you. Don't ever doubt that, ok?"
Darry nodded but wouldn't look up. After a minute, he let out an explosive breath and swiped roughly at his eyes, laughing briefly again, but this time it sounded more natural.
"We really are a gang of bawl babies, ain't we, Soda," he asked, his lips twisting in a wry smile.
Soda glanced sideways at his brother and snorted. "Speak for yourself," he quipped and stepped away quickly as Darry swatted at him halfheartedly. But they were both smiling.
"He's going to be ok," Soda said. Darry looked at him and nodded. They couldn't let themselves think otherwise.